Amethyst

I don't even know
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2020-12-16 03:22:40 (UTC)

Another Diary Prompt

Diary Prompt: What is your relationship like with the different members of your family?

Well, I guess I should start with my sister. We're very close, and we tell each other almost everything. Of course, I haven't told her that I made this diary public, just that I have one. We're only two years apart, which is why I feel like we're so close. It's also really weird that we grew closer because when we were younger, we literally hated each other. Like we loved each other obviously, but we would fight almost everyday. I told her about my crushes, she told me about hers. She was one the first people I came out to other than my friend. I tell her almost everything, except for my feelings. Like how I used to self harm, what I'm feeling when our parents yell at us or something, or just when I'm down. Yeah, she makes jokes all the time about how I act so depressed and shit, but she doesn't actually know how true it could be. I could never tell her though. Once, when I first tried to self harm, I ended up telling her about it. When she learned about it, it broke her. She cried, and was angry with me. I know that's how people react when they hear something like this, but I at the time, I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was what broke her. She acts like she doesn't care, but she's actually very sensitive. I don't like hurting people like that, and I think that's why I don't tell other people. I know my sister better than she knows herself. She's ten now, and I grew up with her for those ten years. She's much more intelligent than she or anybody else thinks. Like I said at the beginning, we're very close. But I don't think I am ever gonna expose her to things like this. Self harm, negativity, starvation, and shit like that. I can't expose her or my younger brother to these things.

I really poured out what I feel here. This is like last time I had a diary prompt. I never actually knew I had this much inside me. But whatever. I'm really sorry if anything I said affected you in any way. I feel the need to apologize a lot. But to whoever reads this, thank you. For continuing on. For living even when you don't want to. You probably don't know me, and I probably don't know you. But thank you for being so brave and strong for us. It's okay to slow down, but never to give up. Sorry if that was cheesy, but I mean it. Bye now <3


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