Karma Rose

My Secret Thoughts
2020-12-14 07:27:09 (UTC)

Being haunted by mistakes from work

Dear stranger,

Today, I woke up really fucken early to go to work. I always thought that I could never drive when I was tired- well, I am here to say that it is definitely possible for me now- then again, there weren't any cars. I feel like I need to say the actual reason as to why I got this job in the first place, so I'm not always wanting to quit every single part of it. The reason I got this job is so I could practice my driving and still make some money on the side. I take things to personally when I shouldn't- who cares what other people think. As long as I show up, do the best I can then it's all good. My register and the machines were all fucked up- the other two days they were working fine, but now, it's all weird and it lags a lottttt. It's so awkward trying to get a sensor off when the machine that is supposed to take it off won't even work. Also, I kept hearing sensors go off when customers would leave and I would just hope that it wasn't my customer- I haven't been cursed out, but I am punishing myself in place of them- gosh, I'm so hard on myself. So let's see if I can make a process on how to do my job better (I am going to have this on my phone):

1. For clothing: take the hanger off and place it to the side.
2. Scan the item and take off the sensor.
3. Look over the item (feel out the clothing) to make sure that there is no sensor.
4. Charge the customer- give change if necessary- tell them "Have a nice day!"
5. Place the hangers on the rack and have the bag ready for the next customer.

Doing this kind of process makes me feel better, because I clearly want to do better- but I hate wanting to do this for such a low-skill job. Ya know the shame and I can't stop thinking about the mistakes I've made- it haunts me in a way- just like with the job I had in the fast food restaurant- I never felt this way with any other job probably because I have a right to demand respect while here I feel like we have to respect the idea that "The customer is always right" business bullcrap. I just need to remember why- this is for the driving practice and the job is just to make money on the side- how many hours I get or don't get is not the issue.

*I made this yesterday and forgot to post it- I didn't finish it either*

I don't remember what I ate yesterday- a burrito and that's basically it I think with water and coke.

From yours truly,
Karma Rose

P.S. I haven't heard anything from the bookstore, then again, I only turned in the paperwork last night soooo I should be patient hahaha. The guy also told me that my start date won't be until January 4th or 5th, but then the paperwork said December 11th (today is the 13th) *akward*- I basically turned it in late apparently even though the things said do it within 48 hours.




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