from my heart
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my stomach is hurting really badly
so i was washing up for bed and after i was putting lotion on my face and i started crying out of no where but i looked so ugly crying that it made me laugh and then start crying again
i feel hopeless. i feel so empty inside at the moment and i am beginning to regret trusting anyone ever in my life. i shouldve just stuck to being alone.
after i see that reed is happy and he does better, after i can finally let him go i will learn to go back to being alone. i dont want to try and be happy anymore. the effort is just too much to handle and maybe my thoughts will change but i feel so tired.
i dont really care anymore. i think the reason why this whole time i felt so shitty was because i cared. now i feel numb.
i want to go back to hurting myself and isolating myself.
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