Subtropical Lady

January 2021 (2)

MONDAY, JANUARY 11, 2021

While I slept today, Tom did some more research on that park in Port St Lucie. I was wrong in assuming it’s a small park. It’s actually a small section of a huge club with a few thousand homes. It’s called the Savanna Club. They have three pools, golf courses, and a lot more. It’s a gorgeous and upscale-looking place. However, we’re totally confused about why they would have such nice houses for so cheap. And we’re also confused by the way it lists such low payments yet says it’s on leased land.

Upon his research, he found that there’s actually a long-term lease where after so many years the owner of the club owns everything that’s a part of it which means if you’re still there when the lease expires, you would either have to pay a fortune to stay there or move. The question is when the lease began and for how many years does it last? If it doesn’t expire for 30 years, then we’re okay as long as there are no other hidden catches like additional monthly fees they don’t mention. Maybe the low amount they list is in addition to space rent that’s not listed.

As much as I would love to live there and as much as I think it may still be noisy, though not nearly as noisy as here, I don’t think we’re going to be able to get in.

The place is only 4 miles away from one of the places my parents lived in on Nettles Island and he thinks that that’s probably why they went there. So they could get so much more for less. It’s just amazing that they could do it without the help of the internet! But she also got a huge inheritance and 89K for the Longmeadow house. I don’t know exactly how much it was, but I know it was a decent amount. They bought a nice RV to go down in when they were looking for a place.

He was surprised to accidentally discover a nuclear power plant nearby and wonders if that might be part of why the costs are lower. Or at least the costs that they list. I can see where some people may be concerned about the reactors breaking during a hurricane.

Anyway, whether we can get in or not, and we won’t know until it comes time to actually contact a realtor so they can explain precisely what the deal is, it’s absolutely beautiful there and would be a good place to grow old. As with any place, though, it does have its pros and cons. For example, you are responsible for your own yard work just like here which means the “daily buzz” would follow me there. I may not hear the really loud obnoxious blowers that you hear here and perhaps not as many saws, but there would still be enough mowing, blowing and trimming going on, and according to all their rules, he didn’t see anything that designated landscaping to specific days.

Another negative is that while I don’t think commercial planes would be an issue, there are more small airports so I’m guessing that since it’s a heavily populated area that small planes and helicopters would be a regular thing.

More people and fewer whites are also a bit of a negative, but I don’t care what color they are as long as they aren’t the white-hating, race-card-playing welfare bums we had in Phoenix, and of course they couldn’t be even remotely close to that. We did have Mexican neighbors in Maricopa, and they were no problem. Trashy, yes. I hated the way they would let some of their trash blow onto our land but they themselves weren’t an issue. It was the Mexicans in Phoenix and just in general, especially the illegals smuggling in guns and drugs.

And yet another negative is that we would definitely have to deal with evacuations during hurricanes and be at risk of losing everything. But since I’m not nearly as materialistic in the way that I used to be and important things can be backed up in the cloud, I’m not quite as concerned with that as I might have been in the past.

Now here are the positives. The biggest one is that motorcycles are not allowed. Yes! Those are definitely the most annoying sound-wise. But you can have one dog or cat that must be kept indoors.

I don’t think a roaring freeway would be an issue there since I don’t see any nearby but I’m guessing there would still be a similar amount of projects going on since most people have at least some money there and it doesn’t cost much to buy a circular saw.

This place is so gorgeous and in such an ideal location that I would be willing to put up with some noise. We could get the sleep pod right away although there’s no doubt in my mind that I would sleep better there probably even without one. There would be a bit more space around most of the houses and they’re not right on the street like we are here.

If the payments were that low, he may never have to work again unless we wanted extra money for something big.

So here, the issues are the freeway, landscaping, commercial planes, other aircrafts, traffic, and projects. About half of these can be eliminated or at least reduced. Oh, and we should be able to have water all the time, of course!

One thing’s for sure and that’s that I won’t settle when it comes to a park. If I’m going to be in a park, then it has to be worth it and we have to be in an ideal location. If I’m choked off by other houses and all I see are streets and houses, I’m not interested. I want a “water house” as I call it. If I’m going to have to listen to some shit, then I want a great view while I’m at it. So I definitely want a place that backs up to a body of water.

I still don’t want to get my hopes up because I’m guessing there’s going to be some kind of catch that will prevent us from getting a loan. Again, we’re going to be poor once we leave here. I think we’re going to have to get some land somewhere but that too has its pros and cons but should be even quieter.

Now what if worse comes to absolute worst? Tom said he came up with a backup plan for if the worst-case scenario came to be and that would be if Sundae and a traditional realtor didn’t offer us enough. We don’t think this will happen, but if it does, he’ll get a job and we’ll flip this place. It would delay the move for 6 months to a year but that’s what we would do. And of course, I would try hard not to wonder if something was trying to trap us here while we were at it.

OMG, it just hit me that my “Aunt” Ruth lives in Port St Lucie and I know she’s definitely lived in adult communities. Wouldn’t it be just too funny if we got in there and ran into her? She’s one of those that is both likable and not but basically, she’s a judgmental bitch with a big mouth. If she were kind to me, I would be kind back, though. Honestly, I don’t know that we would even recognize each other since she’s about 80 years old now and hasn’t seen me since I was 23-24. If she suddenly appeared in front of me and started talking, then I would realize it was her, but I think I’ve changed a lot more than she would have. She never cared to be an aunt to me, but if she ran into me and hugged me and asked how I was doing, it’s not like I would spit in her face and run. In reality, she would probably run, LOL. Too many vicious rumors spread by my mother put a really scary label on me that has a long and lasting impression.

Looks like Phillip also lives there. That’s too funny.

Just visited ZabaSearch. Both he and Ruth are listed as living 5 miles from “Water Palms,” as I call the house I want, but further inland. Looks like an on-site house. He would probably want to meet with me if he knew we were just a matter of miles away and that would be fine. However, I’m not saying anything to anyone so it doesn’t get back to the termites. I can’t stop the internet from sharing our personal info but for as long as I can help it, no one there will know if we move there.

Again, I don’t see it happening, but it would still be kind of funny to end up just 4 miles away from where my parents lived. You know, the mother that told me when I mentioned wanting to move down there from Massachusetts that she didn’t want me living anywhere near them.

Yeah, I had a wonderful mother.

Aly’s finally come to realize that Molly could never be a true friend to her. Maybe she’ll come to see that about Kim someday as well. She claims Molly used to be a better friend but has become incredibly selfish. She says that at least Kim has some good traits in her. Yeah, in the mix of all her craziness, joke of a memory, habitual lies, and obsessive behavior that makes me wonder how she’s hardly worth it. I don’t know why Aly is drawn to the mentally ill and doesn’t feel she deserves better but at least she’s come to see that the only person Molly could ever be a true friend to is herself.

The only difference this time around is that the last time she dumped Molly, Molly stalked her relentlessly. This time she’s so wrapped up in her obsession with some guys that she hasn’t even noticed her absence. Aly said that just the fact that she wasn’t mentioned confirmed and solidified her own feelings and suspicions. I noticed this too, although I wouldn’t tell her. But last night I did happen to drop in on Molly for the first time in a while and I noticed the same thing. I was a bit surprised, too.

I had a dream about Andi, the butch bitch from the Vista Ventana in the 90s, only she went by some other name. Tom and I lived in an apartment building and she also had an apartment there. Once she realized we lived in the building even though it wasn’t next to her and we were a couple of floors away, she tried to make trouble for us by complaining about something we supposedly did.

Early one morning when it was still kind of dark and she had left for work, we went to the back of her apartment and Tom made himself comfortable on a bench swing. I was surprised to see that she had not just two small dogs as I had thought but four, and also by how quiet they were.

I’m glad that as far as I can tell Ruth doesn’t live in the Savanna Club. If by some chance we actually do manage to get in there, I’d hate for any family members to live there and make God only knows what kind of trouble for us, especially if they had any clout of any kind within the club.

I also hope to hell Tammy never finds out where we are if we move there. I wouldn’t put it past her to drive to our door. But then if she did, I could do whatever I wanted to her. Or maybe not because the girls would come after me for sure. I’m not about to take on a quarter ton of pure asshole, though I WOULD see to it that they were charged, convicted and jailed. If they weren’t…

I did hear from Goodreads. Gotta give them links to my books.

Later...

Something happened today that put us one step closer to getting out of here, at least in my mind, and one foot out the door. That came in the form of a jury summons for the first. Damn me for registering to vote!

I’ve never had any desire to do jury duty. For one, I don’t drive and that would mean Tom having to take time off from work. But even if he never works again (though he likely will), you know how I feel about courts and the law in general. I have no interest in having anything to do with it ever again unless I’m suing someone or something like that.

So we went to the site and I was able to request a 90-day delay. That’s April 26th. My last appointment is on the 6th, so hopefully, if all goes well for once in our lives when it comes to moving, we’ll be out of here before the 26th and I can tell them I’ve moved.

If anything, this has really given us the initiative to really motivate ourselves to get out of here, not that I needed much motivation to begin with. But it kind of narrows it down to a more specific time frame for us if we try to get out of here in April after I see Doc A and before the 26th rather than wait until May or June. It’s going to depend on whether or not we can get a decent offer from Sundae. They’re the ones that could cause any significant delays.

If there is any reason we can’t get into this club, though, it will be because of money. Trying not to get my hopes up but oh, how I would love a water house! A parcel of land would be quieter and it would certainly have its pros but it wouldn’t be nearly as pretty or as safe, especially for an aging couple. We couldn’t have Walmart deliver and there wouldn’t be as many shops and restaurants. Either one is still preferable to staying here. The club is likely to be somewhat noisy but should be way worth it compared to here especially since it shouldn’t be nearly as extreme. I think small planes, helicopters, and landscaping will be the biggest things there. I do remember being on the phone with the termite one day when I heard a small plane fly over her place, so yeah, that will be a thing there too, as with most places. But is it a few a day or a few dozen a day like here? That’s what I hope we’ll get to find out as we totally want to get into this place!

Port St Lucie is a climate that would be better than Homosassa even though the "Homos" would still be better than Citrus Heights. Again, I won’t get my hopes up because I don’t usually get that lucky, but I really hope to be much more excited about the move than filled with doubts and concerns nagging at me.

Tom doesn’t really care about views and things like that (I think women are always pickier than men when it comes to aesthetics) but after over a decade in the desert and having so little water and rain in Oregon and here, it would be a nice change of pace. When the weather permitted and it was at least mostly peaceful out, it would be so nice to sit in the lanai sipping coffee or wine and watching the breeze ripple the water and any ducks or whatever that may be swimming around. I think it would be a very serene and tranquil scene compared to just streets and houses. Hopefully, it will be a decent size body of water too and not just a small one that’s more like a giant puddle than a lake. When I view the club via satellite, I could see there were different sizes. The bigger the better because then you have fewer houses around you and a little more privacy. Still trying not to get too hopeful because we’re not exactly rich and we’re not in the habit of getting exactly what we want either.

I do have some good news and that’s that Goodreads removed the dead links to the handful of books I had listed there, even though the woman told me they don’t usually do that. So that’s one less thing that can be Googled, and that nasty review is gone along with Sarah’s “like” of it.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 12, 2021

Really getting sick and fucking tired of hearing about how horrible white people are everywhere I go online. This rant isn’t about any person in particular or even about any group but about people’s shitty attitude in general. It’s like people don’t get that white people aren’t the only problem in the world. It’s society as a whole. It’s totally unfair, unrealistic, and discriminative to blame one group for the world’s problems.

Yes, there were a lot of shitty white people on Capitol Hill. People that should be imprisoned right along with Trump. But why is it that whenever whites do something shitty, everybody’s quick to crucify them while some BLM members and others of color who aren’t affiliated with any group can riot, loot, obstruct traffic, and do all kinds of destructive things which people sometimes also lose their lives, yet the whole world doesn’t turn on them? It’s only the white people who get the criticism when they do something they shouldn’t and the dual standards just get old. No matter how much you choose to bury your head in the sand in the name of political correctness, whites aren’t the only problem in the world. There are just as many shitty assholes in other groups, but if you want to kid yourself, go right ahead. it just goes to show that the vast majority of the population has come to support or at least accept non-whites and that’s great. Really, it is. But to see so many of color turn against whites and even my own kind turn against us is really disheartening and worrisome. It’s not okay to shit on whites any more than it was okay for whites to shit on others.

The little girl that gets a bike for her birthday which doesn’t really faze her that the kid who didn’t get would be incredibly excited to have.

The hopeless struggles one woman faces to conceive while the crackhead down the street spits babies out like crazy.

The guy doing five years for kiting while someone else gets a slap on the wrist for beating the shit out of someone.

The young straight male of color that gets the job the white lesbian in her 50s is actually more qualified for.

The rich people with thousands of dollars sitting uselessly in their bank accounts while others are starving.

Those on Indian reservations that get tax breaks because of what the government did to them hundreds of years ago and which no one alive today had anything to do with while others still have to pay taxes. Most others anyway.

The plentiful calories some people consume and still lose weight while others just look at food and blow up.

Even though it’s no one’s fault, it still bugs me at times how backward and unfair the world is. You dream it, you want it, you need it, and someone else gets it. It may not happen all the time but definitely more often than it should.

Nothing new really going on other than that California is being stupid again by having tons of people go to Disneyland and other places to get vaccinated. Gee, we have a pandemic going on so let’s get shitloads of people together so they can spread it even more, right?

Why don’t they just let the doctors and pharmacies have the fucking vaccinations just like with flu vaccinations?

I thought about it and decided it would be better if I gave the termites my final piece of mind right after we leave. Yes, she could figure out this address and send shit that would be forwarded, but I would rather her hunt and find this address rather than wait a year and possibly be able to find our new address. I still don’t want to be here in case she was to send the local pigs here but there’s no way I would give them any kind of legal reason to do so. She would literally have to try to swat me. Absolutely nothing I’m going to write will be against the law in any way. Against their opinions, yes. But they would have to make something up and the pigs would have to be corrupt or at least incompetent not to verify whatever shit they came up with. That would only put a lot of money in my pocket in the end, though, if something was done to me for something that couldn’t be proven and especially if it was proven to be bullshit. You know, like the bullshit X-rated letters I supposedly sent the girls way back when. But yeah, let the pigs try to violate my right to express myself in a legal, non-threatening way and see how far they get with that. Because after I got done suing the shit out of them for that, I would definitely make an example of them and then maybe other departments that may consider putting their time into what someone writes instead of child predators may think twice.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 14, 2021

Lisa Montgomery, the woman who killed a pregnant woman and cut out her child who survived, got exactly what she deserved. You kill someone, you deserve the death penalty as far as I’m concerned. I don’t care if you’re mentally ill, if you’re poor, if you’ve got diseases… If you kill, you’re a murderer, and if it’s not in self-defense, you should be removed from society rather than a burden to the taxpayers to house and feed for the rest of your sorry life. She should have been killed years ago and I’m sure she would have had her victims not been white.

The article I read disgusted me. I clicked on it, and sure enough, it was all about poor, poor little Lisa and what a horrible childhood she had. I had a shitty time as a child too. Does that mean I’m entitled to go out and kill people then? The article seemed to express much more sympathy for her than for her victims. Really, I’m so sick and fucking tired of all the victim-blaming or at least the support that many criminals get. They probably would have rioted If she was black.

Then I’m sitting there shocked as hell by all the supportive comments this woman got. It was “poor criminal” all around.

So I asked Tom his opinion and he said that generally, he’s against the death penalty because there have been cases where it was learned too late that the person was innocent. He said we have enough jails, and they can be kept there.

“But what about if their guilt is really obvious?” I asked and he said that in those cases the person is usually out of their mind and should have been locked up a long time ago.

I agree with that one! I’m still pro-death penalty but we definitely need a lot more people locked up though not necessarily in jails. They also need to stop letting out people that are virtually guaranteed to re-offend like rapists.

A rep from Sundae messaged me. Figured that was coming anytime now. She wants to jump on the phone to see if we’re “a good fit for each other.” I told her we’re not quite ready yet and that we want to wait until we’re vaccinated and that I’ll have Tom contact her when the time comes. I assured her we were definitely not going to change our minds.

Thanks to Trump, Aly couldn’t get vaccinated in time. She’s no longer asymptomatic. She has a lot of fatigue, feels cold, and has lost her sense of taste and smell. I hope to hell it doesn’t get worse and that she doesn’t land in the hospital. Yeah, I’m trying not to think about the fact that even though it’s very unlikely, she could be dead in two weeks or less.

Although I assured her I wouldn’t share in public, I found it a bit odd that she asked me not to do so in the first place. Who does she know that also reads my journal and that would know I was talking about her?

The red spot on my leg is slightly darker and more raised. It almost feels like a hard blister. I’m seeing some white scaly stuff on the edges, so yes, whatever it is definitely shouldn’t be there. I just took another comparison pic.

I decided to order an assortment of Japanese snacks. Cam won an Amazon gift card and got a snack pack of their own to try. It’s a little pricey but when I checked it out, I decided it would be a fun way to sample new things without getting carried away. So Friday I’ll have 36 treats. It cost $24. Some have English translations on them. Otherwise, I’ll have to guess but it’s the mystery and surprise that will be fun. Looks like there’s going to be candy, cakes, cookies, nuts, and gum, but I don’t see any chips.

I had something like the third dream where I was 37 years old and Tom and I were discussing the possibility of having a kid while I still could yet my heart wasn't really into the idea.

There was also a dream about a large black mailwoman. It was more that she was very tall than wide. She seemed friendly, laid back, and not very chatty. One day she delivered 3 boxes of mail that Tom had been too lazy to pick up or had forgotten about, not that he would ever do such a thing, of course.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 15, 2021

Signing in with boring off-black nails that almost look like a dark plum color in bright light and a very pissed-off mood. The nail color looks good on me. It’s just a boring shade. I’ve seen worse, though.

Fucking Sundae! They led me on after all. NOW the fucking bitch I’ve been communicating with tells me that I once mentioned being on leased land and she “just confirmed” with her team that they don’t buy houses on land that isn’t owned. As I told her in my reply, thanks for getting my hopes up for nothing! She should have known their own rules and policies up front and shouldn’t have had to “confirm” them. Argh, fucking assholes!

We may as well accept that, as usual, this isn’t going to be easy for us and we’re not going to get any breaks along the way. I still can’t wait to get out of here but we’re gonna have to deal with a realtor. So no more hope of getting out of showings and having to deal with the shit that goes with traditional realtors. We’re going to have to Goodwill what we don’t want and try to figure out how to get rid of what they won’t take. He’s going to be ordering a bigger trash bin.

*sighs* This may also make it harder to beat the jury duty extension deadline. Why couldn’t I be a convicted felon just until we leave?!

Anyway, we’re now measuring our tote bins that we’re packing stuff in and trying to get an estimate of the size moving pod we’re going to need.

Just took care of the smelly pigs. Work, work, work, work. I’ll miss them but not caring for them. I’m tired today too. Nothing woke me up, but it was one of those days when I was up forever and didn’t sleep as long. No idea why my body does this at times.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 16, 2021

No wonder Japanese people are so skinny! The Japanese snack mix arrived yesterday and it’s incredible how small the portions are compared to snacks in the US. Definitely not worth the money but makes for a fun experiment. There are only three out of the 37 pieces I don’t like. I don’t see how any human being on earth could possibly put a wasabi nut in their mouth and not feel like they tossed a lit match into it! They look like green peas and when I suspected they were actually wasabi nuts, I licked at one with my tongue to be sure and could feel a burn just doing that. Some of the snacks are weird tasting but still good.

After this, I want to try to drop the wine, flavored sparkling water, pasta, and sugar for as long as I can stand to. The wine and the pasta will be easy.

Still not sure whether or not I want to focus on just getting the recommended number of zone minutes each week or focus more on the length of time. Zone minutes are easy. I can get half of them accidentally with my high HR. I can get more than I need with just a 15-minute workout. The question is whether or not I should up the time to 45 to 60 minutes. More isn’t always better, especially when you’re metabolically fucked as I am.

Over 2 million dead now from the virus. At least that we know of. In poor countries where they can’t afford to do so much testing, I wouldn’t be surprised if the real numbers were closer to 4 or 5 million. While that’s a huge number in itself, it hardly puts a dent in the population which is still climbing faster than its dying.

Been listening to the usual sounds here… traffic, planes, and landscaping. The commercial planes haven’t been as bad lately due to the virus, but yesterday we had our usual 4-hour trash and recyclable pick-up and they’re also working on the new house. Still. Wonder just how many more months they’re going to be working over there.

Another thing is that someone’s been leaving a dog out during the daytime that I’ve mentioned before. I would think Dixie would be able to hear it loud and clear. Luckily, Virginia’s house blocks most of it, so I don’t hear too much from that or the house workers from the room I mostly work in.

I don’t know why but I’ve been having this feeling lately about dying in 2038. But that’s only 17 years from now and not the 20-something I would have guessed. Can’t say for sure whether or not it really means anything but I’ve been having this feeling lately. I suppose anything is possible and even if it does mean something, I’ve already lived a long time and 17 years is still a long time left as well.

Although it’s a little earlier than planned, I decided to make my Facebook account more private. There really is no need to be public although I’ll still do public stories every now and then that disappear after 24 hours. I almost always get views from a non-friend and I always used to think it was Kim, but since she hasn’t been online, I guess it could be anyone.

Still excited about the move but nervous as well. We still don’t know if we’re flying or driving or if we’re going to start off in a park or not. I would love to think that we’ll get a beautiful, peaceful place but I don’t think we’ll get the “ideal” place. I think we can definitely find something quieter than this, though. I just feel like I’m not meant to have the ideal place but don’t know if it’s by design or happenstance. But an improvement is certainly better. If it’s a little quieter and it’s cheaper, then great.

I ignored the email the Sundae rep sent apologizing for getting my hopes up for nothing, and yeah, it does suck. A traditional realtor is going to make things a lot harder for us and slower as well.

I had a dream that he and I were hanging out at home as usual in a place that didn’t look like this. I hadn’t worked out that day. Finally, I convinced myself to at least do a short workout instead of being lazy. I passed a room where he was working out, sitting halfway up on a couch and twisting his torso back and forth. I then entered another room to find that Tom had pulled out an old scale even though it was still digital, and it told me I was 133 lb even though I knew I was 136 lb.

Then he finished working out and came out of the other room to tell me that he heard something in the news that meant that Nervous was probably receiving payments on account of and I reminded him that he was dead.

“Oh, is he?” he said.

“Yeah, he died at 53 of a heart attack. You must be thinking of my other old friend Fran Paiva,” I said even though he’s also dead.

Then Tom asked me if I wanted to go out to some cookie factory or something like that and I agreed.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 17, 2021

The water is going off again all day tomorrow. OMG, to escape these water outages and all this traffic and flying shit! I can’t wait to at least take back the nights! I’m sorry, but after midnight it should be dead quiet. Not full of small planes, helicopters, and roaring freeways.

I have my doubts about beating the jury duty extension deadline, but Tom hopes we’re out of here by the end of June because there’s some kind of thing you have to pay in Cali at that time that will be due. I forgot what he said it was. Maybe some kind of property tax.

Tom is really good with numbers and money and is very smart in general unless he’s trying to learn languages, LOL. He explained to me about finance, paying off credit card debt with the money from the sale of the house to decrease interest in the future, and the various pros and cons of land versus a park and why we may prefer to fly in certain situations versus driving in other situations. I can’t swear on anything yet and neither can he, but our discussion yesterday made me lean more towards getting a place on half an acre to an acre or so, in which case we could afford something a little nicer.

Having to use a regular realtor means not accepting less than 65K rather than 60K and pretty much increases our chances of driving. The cost comes out the same between driving and flying but if we have to wait a week for things to close anyway...

Also, since we don’t want to buy a place sight unseen, we would need a place to store our shit until we could get into a place. But we don’t know exactly where to go in Florida, we don’t know where to store our shit and therefore it may be better to drive across. We’re still going to get realtors in Florida to help us.

I wrote out a list of pros and cons of land versus a park. There’s no saying that all the cons would come to be but that’s the frustrating part. We can’t magically know upfront where to go and exactly what it would be like living there. And sometimes you don’t know about the things you do know. When we had our little orientation meeting with Joy, she made it sound like the water went off a few times a year, not a dozen-plus times a year.

And look what happened with the commercial planes. We moved in here in 2013 and they weren’t an issue until 2018. The small planes and helicopters, yes. They were always a problem. I just never thought to look for airport locations because they’ve never been a problem before.

Anyway, the land would definitely leave us more money left over each month but not a whole lot since we’ll never again have money as we do now. He was thinking of maybe doing Door Dash deliveries or something like that a few times a week to make extra money. Even if he only made $10 five days a week, that’s still $200 extra a month. Of course I wish to hell I could drive and didn’t have CRD so I could do it too and double that. Big things can be paid for with credit like if I needed another root canal or we wanted to go on a $500 helicopter ride or something like that.

Money won’t be so important except in the event of an emergency once we get the place, wherever it may be, set up the way we want it. I was still glad to hear that Biden wants to ensure that those on Social Security always get enough of an increase so they never fall below the national poverty level.

The increased Aly-meeting dreams make me wonder if we will be meeting soon since I’ve had a lot more dreams of meeting her than I have of flying. The only thing is that in the dream I had last night, she was visiting us and not the other way around. We were going to take a selfie of ourselves together and laughed about sending a copy to Kim (though we wouldn’t share any pics we took). I don’t care if we take pictures of each other or of us together or not, but it would definitely be nice to meet somewhere someday! Pretty sure there was more to the dream, but I don’t remember what.

The thought of moving is exciting but also a bit scary and overwhelming. Anything could go wrong. Driving across would be incredibly hard on both of us. And even if we did fly, we’re still going to be stuck in hotels for a while and that’s hard as well.

Land pros:
Space around us
Fewer rules
Quieter
Cheaper
Gains more value in time
Our own pool

Land cons:
Not as safe
Not as pretty
Slightly colder
Increased potential for bad neighbors, loose dogs/barking, boom stereos, motorcycles, welfare bums

Park pros:
Safer
Prettier
Warmer
Activities
Increased chance of better neighbors, less barking, boom stereos, etc.

Park cons:
More rules and restrictions
More noise
Less value
More expensive

MONDAY, JANUARY 18, 2021

A town in Tennessee has been showing up on my visitor report lately and I wonder if it’s Sandra who lives in Sevierville. I blocked her because I was tired of her political rants. Maybe she created another account when she noticed I wasn’t around to see if she could find out why I blocked her. Sometimes I find it easier to block rather than to just ghost.

Income tax. That’s the payment we hope to avoid by getting out of here by late June.

As far as how to know where to store our stuff, we would store it here in Citrus Heights until we knew exactly where to have it shipped to in Florida. We’re probably going to go with U-Haul because they incorporate moving pods with storage and all that. We’re considering one that’s something like 4 feet wide, 8 feet deep, and 8 feet tall.

We still won’t know if we’re flying or driving until we know what we’re getting for the house and how long things are going to take to close. I just know that one of the things alone that I hate here is enough to be excited about moving. Just take all the fucking planes and helicopters I have to listen to in the middle of the night as well as the daytime. And of course, we’re going to be without water for most of Tuesday. I wonder how many more times we’re going to have to play this fucking game with the water outages before we get out of here.

We still don’t know if we’re going to end up in a park or on land somewhere. What community did I ever like, though? I hated Phoenix and I hate it here. Klamath Falls wasn’t as bad, but I still didn’t like it that much. It was a quaint little town that had its positive points but still too many people too close which means it wasn’t exactly peaceful. It seems the worst thing in Arizona was dogs barking, up in Oregon it was boom car stereos, and in Cali, it’s kind of a mix of everything, but being in an adult community, we don’t have much barking, car stereos, and you almost never hear kids.

I’m excited that Biden will be taking over soon! The only thing that worries me is the Caravan of Guatemalans. I know that as soon as he’s in power, they’ll be welcomed with open arms to burden our system even more. Sick of how America is the go-to country for when the shit hits the fan in other countries. It’s not right or fair for us to be expected to pick up the pieces when things go wrong elsewhere. My heart truly goes out to those that are innocent victims of violence and other catastrophes in their countries, but I just wish they would create some kind of designated area for refugees to go to. Like maybe some island somewhere.

I had a dream I met Kamala Harris somewhere. I was very depressed for some reason and I was squeezing my eyes shut to prevent myself from crying when I heard her voice grow closer as she was addressing a room full of people before I felt something being slipped over my head. When I opened my eyes, I found that she had slipped a beautiful purple beaded necklace around my neck. I thanked her and hugged her, surprised to see that she was pregnant.

Then there was the termite dream which woke me up. It took me a while before I could fall back asleep. We were still on good terms when we moved to Florida, starting off in a hotel until we could find a place. They agreed to care for a mother rat and her two babies we brought with us but didn’t want to keep them in the hotel for some strange reason. I went to Tammy’s house one day to find Sarah there. We got into a huge argument and I left. It then hit me that they may harm the rats because they were pissed at me.

So I decided I go back later on when I knew Tammy would be there. I hoped Mark wouldn’t be there because I didn’t want to get into it with him since we had always gotten along in the past and thought it would be nice to keep it that way.

I walked up to the slider and knocked. Tammy approached with her cell phone in hand but didn’t open it. Instead, she told me they “dumped my vermin” and that if I didn’t get the fuck away and stay away, she would call the police.

Furious that she killed my pets like I feared she might, in a split-second, I grabbed a chair in her lanai and smashed it through the slider, knocking the phone out of her hand. She was home alone, and I beat her unconscious. After confirming that the rats really weren’t there, I wasn’t sure whether or not I should kill her so she couldn’t point a finger at me or hope she would wake up. I decided it would be better if she woke up since I knew that if I got caught, I would get a hell of a lot less time for assault than I would for murder. I was still glad I avenged the death of my innocent rats.

Then I ran out to the car which Tom was waiting in and told him we had to hurry up and get back to the hotel and move to another one quickly and began filling him in as the dream ended.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 19, 2021

Waiting on a diamond painting kit to be delivered. When I read in someone else’s journal that they were working on one, I thought that would be a great idea for Aly’s birthday. I’ve been trying to come up with different ideas. I already made her some jewelry, and I don’t want to have food items delivered in case she’s allergic to any of the ingredients, so this may work. I’ve been wanting to try one of these anyway. She likes owls so I got a 6x6 owl painting that the PBer would probably take me 2 hours to do. Plenty of time to get it done since her birthday is in April. It also comes with a frame. If I enjoy doing it, I may get one for myself. This PB, BTW, is probably the one in Tennessee. I guess I’m just addicted to tracking.

Tom tried various cleaners to remove the sticky residue that some of the stickers left on the wall. Goo Gone can get rid of it easily but I can’t stand the smell of oranges so he ordered a steamer that should be good to have anyway.

When it comes to touching up the paint on the living room walls, he may have to do the whole thing since the paint might not match. I burn incense regularly and that would cause some discoloration along with the fact that it’s been about 5 years.

Still so torn between a park versus a rural setting! They both have so many pros and cons. We’re still not even sure what state we’re going to end up in just yet. As long as we keep our monthly payments under $500 a month, we should be comfortable, though we would certainly be more comfortable if we didn’t have an HOA. Parks are a lot more convenient but definitely noisier. We would have more freedom and peace on land but we’re still a couple of months away from knowing anything either way.

I saw that Walmart had a pink yoga mat with yoga pose illustrations on it. They had 10 poses for $10. That would certainly make it easier and more tempting to get into yoga but then I found one for $30 with 70 poses on Amazon, though I’m not going to get that or a diamond painting for myself until we move. I would get the purple one because the illustrations stand out better that way. I’m a little too fat for some of the poses, though, LOL.

Oh, to care about my weight like I did in my youth! Maybe then I would be motivated to push myself harder if that’s even possible with Hashimoto’s and my age, but the fact still stands that I like myself as I am. Yes, I would be healthier if I was thinner but I’m not that big and it isn’t so much that I’m totally in love with myself as I am so much as that I just don’t care. I guess that’s the difference between being a single 20-something and a married 50-something. It would take a lot more weight than this to get me all that motivated and concerned. I think I’ll just stick with eating smart and being active most days and allowing myself to be human by indulging once or twice a week. That will be in the form of Hershey’s caramel kisses next grocery delivery. :-) Otherwise, I try not to focus on food until I’m actually ready to eat.

The water is off right now. Yeah, what else is new?

Andy showed up in my dreams again. Hey, it’s better than the termites! I was going to say hello to him in a tweet as I was slowly walking down the street and then realized I was in front of his place. He stepped outside and I said hello. We started talking and then some woman stopped by. I told him I would contact him later and that it would be nice to catch up since it had been a year.

I used the bathroom on the way out as I was heading for the door, I looked out a window and realized he was also in a flight path, although the planes looked like little rockets.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2021

On my 24-minute walk, I heard two commercial planes, two small planes, and one helicopter. That was an addition to a circular saw where someone was getting new windows. Surprised I didn’t hear any landscaping in the mix. I will absolutely scream if we end up stuck here another year, and even though it’s unlikely, it is still possible that we won’t get a decent enough offer for the house and have to have him go back to work full-time and flip it ourselves.

He called and ordered a larger trash bin that’s going to be delivered on Friday, and we’ll both have blood drawn at the lab tomorrow morning.

We both agree that if we had to choose between one of the water houses in Florida versus this older home we like in a rural area in Hull, Texas, we would go for the water house. I just can’t believe Water Palms, which I would name our network, is still for sale! We’ve got to find out when that lease expires. The fact that he saw one of the houses there in foreclosure is a good sign. If I suddenly knew it was ours, I’d be as emotional as a 20-year-old! However, I’m guessing it won’t be and I don’t even know that we could get anything similar to it either.

Decided I didn’t want to wait for the yoga mat with the illustrations so it will be here Friday. I also went to a site that has quick video clips on how to properly perform each move. They even have more moves than what’s on the mat, although I’m still not going to be able to do all of them.

I also saw a video on three exercises that are supposed to be good for cellulite in the backs of the thighs and ass since it activates the most muscles. It definitely doesn’t have to do with fat, though, just as they said since I’ve had them most of my life yet was thin for the most part until my 40s.

I received my diamond painting before bed yesterday and started working on it today. I have about a quarter of it done, and it’s super easy and loads of fun! I might get some for myself.

I was practically squealing with delight when I saw the plane lift Trump up and away from the White House.

Good. Fucking. Riddance.

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