I never seeked a relationship yet I found one. Am I complaining? No, I am somewhat satisfied with where I am. Am I happy? I can't exactly say so. Knowing that a relationship won't bring me happiness I never quite felt the urge to look for one.
Why you may ask?
My happiness doesn't depend that much on other people, my happiness mostly depends on my relationship with myself. The way I treat myself ain't exactly the best. I live in constant panic of what is to come. I keep sabotaging my own future. I keep making decisions that are filling me up with anxiety and regret.
I live a decent life, I'm surrounded by lovely human beings and they all mean the world to me. The happiness they bring upon me is temporary. It lasts for as long as I'm in their presence. You can't make me happy whoever you may be regardless of how dear you are to me. I wish to feel content with myself so that I can no longer feel guilty as I say that somebody makes me feel happy when they ask about it. In order to achieve happiness as it is first I gotta defeat my self destructive manners.