Live my life♥

God's definitely not a favourite child

I guess God is leaving no page unturned in making me feel miserable. I am on a 🎯 that all problems to be imposes on me for God only know for which sins.
Mom is unwell, dad is unwell and being pain in my ass coz he just can't keep calm and make our life more miserable.
I am getting rejected in every interview God only again knows why.
I feel so less confident and my morale has gone down because of this all. My heart beats fast even when I get a call wonder who it might be. God why is this happening to me. Why are you so hard on me God why??? Am doing my best. Please forgive me if I have done anything wrong I'll try to be a better person if am not.
I have always fallen on my face when j tried to make improvement in life. I left job because I wasn't happy with the work, I knew j had potential to do more productive things how was that wrong in believing in self. And here j am jobless from past 1 yr. I am not even getting a single simple job. How do j dare to dream to ho yo Canada a big lol in me. Am so off today I wanna run away somewhere. I want to hide in a hole, I don't want to talk, eat, drink I want to cry and feel inferior. I want to vent out my anger, I want to slap myself I want to let all that patience I held for so long j want to shout on that God for giving me such hard time.
Everyone around me are happy or happily doing what they want. Why can't it be with me?