Elizabeth Jane

The Diary of Elizabeth Jane
2020-11-26 03:16:25 (UTC)

The Abuse Diary 1

I guess I should start with I'm not a writer. English class was meant for naps and chatting with Andrew all hour. My Name is Liz, I was going to use some alias but I don't need to, not for this. I have thought about documenting my abuse story publicly for over a month now. I was keeping a journal of my own but the pages are full of letters to my abuser. Sometime when I miss him, yes I missed my abuser, I would read the pages and remember everything. You see, when you deal with mental and emotional abuse you have a very hard time thinking or making sense of anything really. You will lose your own self because someone made you feel like nothing and made you confused so they could have control over you and you depend on them. When I thought about dying my hair after the breakup I cried for 2 weeks before I even did it because I had not made a decision for myself in forever. We will get to all that, I guess I need to start at the beginning.

It was the summer of 2018, My mom just got a terminal cancer diagnosis and I was looking for anything to distract myself from the sadness of watching her die. I played Halo for years and loved it, I played all day if could. This one day I matched against a friend and his team just destroyed me, but the thing I hated was his teammates shooting my body after they killed me. I remember going into the party after and yelling at all of them like I was their mom lol. I got a friend request from one of them, we will call him John for the Halo reference. John started inviting me to play with him, he was so fun and sweet to me. We quickly started spending a lot of time together, I would later find out this was called "love bombing". He would post about me online, he would cheer me on in the game, he would befriend my best friends, he would ask to watch shows together, he would even encourage me fall asleep on the phone with him. He was the most attentive and loving boyfriend I had ever had, and I had never even met him.

Move forward about a year...

that's enough for today..





Ad: