Struggling

struggling married man
2020-11-24 13:07:37 (UTC)

Thanksgiving week

Just prepping this week for the big day. I do all of the cooking, but thats ok b/c I actually like it.
What I don't like is when the wife comes in giving me directions on what to cook and such. I mean really ?? you hardly ever cook and I'm suppose to follow your directions ?
Take for instance this past weekend. I was trying to be nice cooking one of her favorite seafood pasta dishes. We had some gourmet egg noodles. So I thought it would be nice to use that in the dish. You see the wife has been complaining of late about how pasta makes her stomach bloat. We think it could be the glutton, so we have been using that once in a while too. It's ok but its not the same. Basically we have been switching on and off. Anyway getting back to the gourmet egg noodle I was planning to use, she comments on how its not really pasta. Really I say. I replied it's pasta, see it even says so on the packaging. I think that pissed her off, she storms off to the bedroom, and then I hear her under her breath mumbling about how dare I question her on it, b/c she is italian and she knows...or something like that. So I shouted out what did you say, no reply. I was pissed so I mumbled back you always have to say something, I meant to say maybe I wont use it, but instead said maybe I wont cook. She shouts back so then dont. Really ? Then I hear her saying I always start...see it's times like that I just want to tell her to go fuck herself. Anyway I ended up making the dish anyway, using the egg noodles. We sat at the dinner table where she tried to make small talk but I was still annoyed and pissed so I basically just gave her one word answers. Then after dinner, she decided to stay out in the living room to watch TV with me. She normally retreated back to the bedroom. So I guess she knew it was her that started it. So since I was still mad what did I do when she finally did retreat to the bedroom, I got my laptop out and went on reddit. Yes I went to the affairs and online affairs board. I know I'm jsut using her as an excuse, but she makes it so easy to want to stray again. It's been 2 and 1/2 years since I've strayed. and in the last 5 to 6 years just twice, both times with the same women. As my title states I struggle... I struggle to stay in this marriage, I struggle to do the right thing,




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