I seem to have no control over anything in my life, i have been told that i am very independent yet i feel really stuck all the time and it makes me wanna scream at the top of my lungs. i feel truly like i can not do what i want, and it makes it really hard because i can not drive and i need my mom to take me places, i mean i try to do as much as i can alone, and without her, yet there are places that i would need her help.
i have taken cabs to places i needed to and i have taken care of things on my own when i can and that does give me a small little bit of lift in my self-esteem and i know that some may read and think to themselves why don't you just learn to drive, i think my disability keeps from doing that as well. i do not want to get into it alot but autism may not help much either, i do have a male friend who i believe is also on the spectrum like i am, and he also does not drive and he has to take cabs and his parents have to drive him places, i never asked what his issues may be as far as why he does not drive, but i feel from his tone of speech and his rocking back and forth he may be on the spectrum as i am which makes me feel a little bit better. i am getting off-topic a bit but i do feel like i would feel better if i was a normal person who did not need to rely on someone else, and i just feel alone and like im not gonna ever have control over my life and that is very sad. i am not happy where i am, i feel that no matter how much treatment i will get i will still feel like i have no way of doing what i want, i feel left out of life and it is sad to say that on here.
i may never have control over my life.