At Least I Write...
I am never comfortable with the terms: musings, ramblings and anything connected with these expressions. I'm not that kind of writer.
Change is less heavy and painful, but changes I need to keep making.
A quote : "One of the great Sufi teachers expressed the same wisdom in a slightly different way. 'A great idea', he said, 'will come to you three times. If you go with it the first time, it will do nearly all the work for you. Even if you don't move until the second time, it will still do half the work for you. But if you leave it until the third time, you will have to do all the work yourself.' "
~from Stay Foolish. Stay Hungry. p.19.
Ch. 2 Getting Started. Seamus Heaney. [Graduation speech given at the] University of North Carolina, 1996.
I'm glad that I'm no longer drinking and thoroughly drunk on cheap, strong wine. Some wines taste absolutely revolting and I persevered with those cheap, strong drinks for 38 months continuously for the sake of getting high. Dope when it happened to be there, wherever my drinking happened to take me. It didn't happen that often and I'm very grateful for that mercy.
I am glad that I no longer have to visit ED in hospital on a regular basis because of my drinking. I didn't get into any trouble with The Law either during that 38 months and I'm extremely relieved and extremely grateful for that mercy too.
I'm humbled that I am no longer sexually active in a dangerously, pathological way. My pain is healing. I am no longer sexually active at all and haven't been for years. A few sexually affectionate slips but that's it.
It's a wonder and miracle that I haven't contracted the HIV virus during my lifetime, though I've been tested twice. Once in rehab and one more time, years later at a sexual health clinic.
A Gratitude List:
I have survived several relapses.
I have survived my childhood.
I have found and lived life several times after alcohol and drug using years.
I know the wise difference between painless love and the kind of love that brings more pain than its worth.
I have much to be thankful for every day.
I find a great deal of joy and happiness in ordinary things.
I have a spiritual life again which works for me.
I have hope, love and Serenity in my heart once again.
Above all else, I have the power of choice restored to me in all its own, sane glory. If that's not sanctification for this once hopeless drunk, I don't know what is...
A beautiful restful Sunday. I walked to church and took the Holy Sacrament. One of a few beautiful moments during that sacred hour.
A talk was given about The Parable of The Ten Virgins in light of today's times and global happenings. I returned home and read it. Wow.
I have earmarked The Fig Tree Parable to read this week.
Yes. I've finally resumed my religious studies alongside my recovery studies and work. This is a great way for an alcoholic to stay sober. I can't make it to many meetings (12~Step), yet there is plenty for me to do in print.
I believe in The Second Coming of The Son of God. Here's a scriptural passage that I read today, concerning this Glorious Advent which is "at the doors".
The Book of Matthew. Chapter 25. Holy Bible. (King James Version.)
"27. For as the lightning cometh out of the east, and shineth even unto the west, so shall also, the coming of the Son of man be.
27. For wheresoever the carcase is, there will the eagles be gathered together.
28. Immediately after the tribulation of those days shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken.
30. And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.
31. And he shall send his angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other."