Nala Toph

Written Thoughts
2020-11-12 15:48:33 (UTC)

I’m sorry Sir Judgmental Shaman

So I made an entry called “Rape or not...” because I felt so lonely and desperate that I honestly would rather be raped than live another moment in isolation. I’ve talked to some friends about it and they get really uncomfortable, justifiably so. But I got a send from a man named Poppin’ on here who just told me how I was wrong to used rape as a means to beg for attention. Now I can admit that I definitely love attention, and I’m willing to go to odd means to do so. In real life I censure myself a lot, and I kept telling the man that this is my diary and I have no way of notifying everyone here that I posted another entry. So I am not to blame for him reading and then also responding to my entry, he is. Then he started to talk about hoe he is a shaman and is connected to the spirits and therefore he already knows me. OH FUCK MAN, I’M MESSING WITH A WITCH OF NATURE OVER HERE AND MY ATTITUDE REALLY HURT THE VIBE ON DEAD PEOPLE AND OTHER SPIRITS. I thought they scribe with nature and kept their nose stuck in tomes. I suppose they don’t have to be ultra-primitive but since when did they read minds through the Internet? Claimed to know me more than I knew everything, even myself. Now he just sounds like a fucking creep. Then he says that he also been raped and therefore that means he knows exactly what I’ve been through. Well I have been raped, I felt responsible for my own guilt, I have seen near death experiences, I’ve seen curtain horrors that I care not to talk about. Was it as bad as he had it? Probably not. But that doesn’t mean he knows what it means to be me. I’m not about to claim I know what his life is like, I’m only attacking his mentality that he can go around on a diary website and tell people what they can and cannot put in their own diary. He also claimed that sane people would never wish to be raped. And you know what? I absolutely agree with him! In fact, I don’t remember a single time where I claimed I’m perfectly normal and sane. I remember quite the opposite actually, I remember telling people I WISH I could stop my inane and horrid and sexual and violent thoughts I had towards people. So no shit Sherlock! You were able to figure out that I am not perfectly sane! Thanks, I needed help figuring that one out!
Sarcasm aside, I’m not going to stop eating steak because a baby can’t chew it. Clear? If you don’t like what I write then you might as well move along, because I will defend it until the day I die, because I believe in what I write, because this is my slice of privacy where I can share my thoughts and feelings without the care if someone else gets offended or if I might be banned. I am in a zone of ultimate freedom, and nothing you can say will make me shut up or change my mind on that.

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