marielmia

Mariel is MIA
2020-11-12 12:26:56 (UTC)

i think too much. I think.

Seems like Lunchie and I are on a Wednesday, one weekend day thing. I mean I am still hoping that this thing we have will turn into something long term, but it's kinda in a stall now. It's basically dinner, a little TV and then he makes a move and we eventually make our way to the boudoir for fun and games. It's nice and it does scratch an itch. And it makes me know i can have reasonably good vanilla sex, but at the same time, i still hanker for a little spice. Is that ok or am i not thinking clearly? Are they mutually exclusive or can the coexist? My head can get overheated with this type of thinking.

Last night was a bit of same same, with the exception that i made up to try something for myself. So when he was behind me and i didn't have that self conscious feeling of him looking directly at me, i went ahead and "helped myself along." It was quite nice actually, and i brought myself really close. He def noticed and got more into it. When he unexpectedly put his thumb inside me, i think he reset my brain to its factory defaults and i exploded unlike i ever had. He got a bit more excited and i was soon flat on my belly and he was wilding on me. He did the accidental try to ass hump me, but even in my blown away state, i shoo'd him off. I mean we still aren't an item yet and he still limits us to this two date a week set. If he's into that, then there will be time. Fuck, i still want him to use a condom. Patience. For both of us.

And even though i may have wanted him up my ass, i unfortunately felt vindicated when he returned to form and clearly hinted that it was getting late and he had to be up early. Seriously? But i can take the hint, suggesting a snack before i drove back to PB. i admit that i was hoping he's relent and ask me to stay, but, yeah, NO. This afternoon, we ate outside and he never mentioned last night at all. Just wanted to tell me about these big clients he was dealing with. So, i allowed his crowing, and was a good listener.

We will see what the weekend brings. I can't help but think his interest level is not the same as mine.

Color me still hopeful.
XOXO,
Mariel




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