༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻

Ramblings & RL Stories
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2020-11-11 07:16:39 (UTC)

Strike 2

Had no clue it’s Wednesday till I went to get my coffee mug.
I have 7 mugs, each day of the week.
Yeah yeah
I’m strange I know

He took off work wearily and came here even tho I made every reason not to.
He bought dinner.
He wanted to talk.
He gave me a hug and said “Baby, I’m sorry”
“I really am sorry”
“Can we please learn and do a better job at talking and not fighting “
“You and Sheldon are my life. You two complete me. I want us as a family.”

I said “ok”
Wasn’t sure what to say.
My mind was set on what I wanted and we would be taking different roads in life, never crossing paths.

I sat there, numb, and listened.
When he was finished, I stated the things he said and did that cut to the bone.

He apologized again for his words.
I asked “How am I to silence your harsh words that still linger in my head and ears?”
He said “I don’t know, I’m truly sorry “

We sat, watched some impractical jokers, ate dinner, and he apologized to my son.

I then, after a few hours, asked “What’s your plan from here on out?”

He said he would like to stay with me, and travel back and forth till we figure where to go from here together.

I said “This had better not be some stupid head game. I don’t want you using me because you have no place to go right now. You break Sheldon’s heart or mine, he will never forgive you.”
He said he’s serious about us completing his life.

Around 630pm my muscle spasms started, my butt, foot, and lower back. I was crying.
Sheldon got my medications, they got me laid down in a semi comfortable position, and Sheldon left to game and he asked to stay. I said yeah.
Was nervous at my decision, but I’ve always been a 3 strikes your out person. This past few days was strike 2. Last strike is it.
I stated before I drifted off, I want to be treated better. It’s going to take time for me to get past all the hurtful things said.

So, we will try mending what’s broken one last time.

I don’t like the fact he has to travel to work that far and trying to find a solution. Him, buying a house seems pointless if we are to be a family, WE should look together and decide together on the place and location.
I’d like to see him get a job out this way so he isn’t traveling so far. It’s hard to find him a job tho with felonies on his record.

So with that update, still exhausted as all hell from the muscle spasms last night, the 30 degree drop in the temperature is affecting me, and all the stress has my ass whipped . So grabbing coffee and going to finally cry some.