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2020-11-09 07:34:08 (UTC)

Plain. & Simple.


Good morning.
It’s a Monday.
Went to bed a little later than usual.
I went to bed relaxed for the first time in awhile.

He told MY son, I have to get ready for bed, seen me in the living room, and went to the bedroom and shut the door, so I could sleep all night on the sofa.

My son came over and hugged me goodnight. I heard the bedroom door shut and jumped up saying hell no im not going to be kicked out of my own room.

When I came in MY room, I asked MY son, can y’all please watch utube out here in the living room instead of my bedroom, I don’t like being kicked outa my room. And he (not my son) mouthed off, it’s your choice to not be in here. I stated it’s hard for me to watch a movie in here when they both are in here with the other tv going. So he then said I will be out of here soon enough, so I said then go. He grabbed his shit and said I love you to my son and I said I love you too and he was pissed I threw him out.
I never said get out. When the statement of being out of here is said 3 times in 2 1/2 days, then you must seriously be unhappy here so I’m not using you, I’m not holding you hostage, so, there is the door.
I didn’t shed a tear.

He has been taking me for granted.

Plain and simple.

Friday instead of talking things out, he chose to be a dick. Then Saturday morning, first thing, runs the mouth of MY MY MY shit, and when I try and discuss things, he walked away saying I don’t want to talk about it.
Yesterday, asked me you still mad at me, response was I’m not mad. Not once has he apologized.

I, am not wrong here.
I simply want my bed back. He is not paying the bills here. He clearly is confused on what being a family is. He wants to adopt my son, and be married, as a family, but doesn’t want to live as one? Unless we move in with him, and I’m not doing that and stated why. I did suggest we find a place together.
One day he wants to find a job up here, the next day he wants to move back there. Make up ya mind. This back and forth shit is driving me crazy. Either you want this to work, or you don’t.

So, I had my thoughts a few hours after he left, had my personal time, and slept ok. I gave myself the attention I needed. Something he also was neglecting.
When a woman buys an outfit, puts it on, and you say Wow, and grab a shower, dinner, watch tv for an hour plus, THEN, 4 hours later, decide to give her attention, um, hello, it’s a slap to the woman’s face.
That’s clearly not a man interested.
I’m certainly not hideous looking. I’m 5’6”, 136 pounds, long legs, nice rear, know how to look sexy, and am kinky, want to be dominated from time to time in a sensual seductive way, so not sure what the issue is.
I don’t yell. I don’t scream. I don’t fight. I don’t argue. I cook. I clean. I still do stuff needing to be done, with or without help. Despite my disabilities, my pain, etc, I accomplish.
I made sure he had a hot meal when he came home, made sure he had fresh coffee before work, a nice lunch everyday packed for work.
Left little notes in his lunch saying I love you and to have a great day.

All things he took for granted.

Well, either apologize, or, go back to being a weekend fuck buddy and don’t call me saying you’re lonely.
You had it made.
The only issue was the drive to and from work, and I also did the searching to help find a job closer which is what he said he wanted.
So when you say one thing one day, a different thing the next, of course I’m going to be confused and frustrated.
Make up ya mind.

Other than that ordeal, the night went well.
I’m still, not beating myself up.
I do, have more going for me than he does.
I do, have a roof over my head. I have my pets. I have a few who care and check in to see how I’m doing. I have family. I am raising my son. I don’t have people looking to garnish my paychecks. I’ve never been convicted of a felony. The list goes on.

One day, I will get my disability. I will, be able to buy my own home, and it’s going to be beautiful. He will not, be moving in with me then either. He had his chance. I’m not splitting up, I’m just stating, you made your choice not to live as a family, so, live with it.

When I get an apology from him, we can talk. Not till then. I will keep my answers to simple one word responses. I’m not, going to put my whole self into a relationship that is not going to grow. Plain and simple. I’m not going to do all the work either.

First mistake, going to bed angry at me on Friday, when he bitched at me for doing it a few weeks ago.
Second mistake, getting up and trying to start a fight first thing Saturday morning.
Third mistake, never apologizing for Saturday morning.
Fourth mistake, not trying to fix things on Saturday, walking away.
Fifth mistake, shutting the bedroom door Sunday morning and afternoon.
Sixth mistake, not helping me do shit around here like climb the 6 foot ladder I shouldn’t have had to do. And take the recycling on my own.....knowing we go every Saturday morning. But he chose to game.
Seventh mistake, running the mouth about getting another place to live.

That’s just the weekend mistakes.
I’m not perfect. But I did, try to ask what the issue was on Saturday. I did say, not talking about it is not getting it resolved. I did, say I deserve to be treated BETTER. Never once said he treated me shitty. He doesn’t. He just has gotten to relaxed and taking me for granted. Not appreciating what I do for him. I deserve a man, who wants to talk and find solutions as a couple. Not badger me with snide comments. I want a man who is stable. Not indecisive.

I don’t recon I will get any apology from him. I don’t expect him to call. Or message me. He should. But, he is male. He is bullheaded. He will realize what he lost soon enough.
He is a good man, just needs some work, something he isn’t doing right now. He thought I’d be like his ex’s. And, clearly, I’m not.

I love him, that won’t change. I just want respect. Plain and simple.

So, I’m going to get up, get a few things done I normally do....go about my day as I normally would for a week day.

Plain. and. Simple.


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