༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻

Ramblings & RL Stories
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2020-11-07 11:31:52 (UTC)

Long time I know


Been awhile I know, since I did an update.
Been in a ton of pain physically.
Things on the home front aren’t ideal, but I’m managing.

I am not sure what’s going on with me physically, been getting these headaches lately. My upper back keeps slipping out and I do believe that’s what my headaches are coming from.

I’m in the process of my appeal to SS.
I have not found an attorney who will help, the few I have spoke to said that if I started over they could, but I don’t want to start over due to the fact I would lose a year of back pay for two kids and an additional year for one kid, and that’s a chunk of change right there. They state I AM disabled, but can work 2 hours and only listed 3 jobs they feel I can do. Now, the issues are, 2 hours will not pay the bills, secondly the three jobs they list they feel I could do are not available here locally, and I can not travel an hour two and from. So I seriously need a lawyer/attorney to help me.

Other than that, him and I are not on speaking terms yet again. He claims I have a bad attitude. One minute we are a couple and trying to make this work, and he wants to find work closer to here, next minute he’s looking for a place down there, there’s no consistency.....so uh, yeah, in the mass confusion, I do get irritated. So, he went to bed not saying anything, pissed at me, and I remember, he told me, when I went to bed upset a few weeks ago, that’s not good and we shouldn’t do it, but, he of course can. First thing this morning he gets a rude attitude and when I try to talk and ask questions or explain what bugged me, he walked off and said I don’t want to talk about it. So, of course, there still is no speaking going on.

He claimed we were on his tv/PlayStation and deleted the internet off his system.....however, I seen with my own two eyes, our internet providers popping up on his screen, but because he has NEVER been connected to two of them, he didn’t have the password and the other main one is down at the moment. Now, if we deleted the shit off his system, he wouldn’t see it there, or am I wrong? It would have asked to look for providers not just automatically pop up, but I may be wrong here. Either way, with his “can I have some of YOUR coffee” this morning, I do believe, he doesn’t pay for the internet, not a penny of it, because my mom pays all three of them, so, if he has to ask all of a sudden to have ‘my’ coffee, why is he entitled to free internet? I am, and my son is because my mom, my son’s grandmother pays it. If we aren’t ‘family’ and just dating, then he’s not entitled to it. He already gets free heat, water, electricity.

I’m not stressing. He hasn’t paid electric here in 2 months, he said he can’t pay the $300 rent here, and complains about the 150$ in gas to and from but he can get a place that costs $500 a month. Make sense? I didn’t think so. And I’m just insane I guess cause I can’t figure out the logic there. My bills are $600 a month for everything. That includes my phone. Now, his bills would be, rent 500, cable (no clue), internet (no clue), his phone 55$, storage 140$, child support 720$. Now, figure this up..... 650$ at most here, and 1400$ or so for on his own. Now, mind you, even here with the 600, he still has the child support and storage, and his phone, but minus the internet, cable, it’s still cheaper here. Not to mention, as a ‘family’ as he so calls it, we are under one roof. Or am I just batty in my old age?

Now, I could be stating facts that are black and white on top of it, the fact he says he wants to adopt my son, but has no contact with 2 of his kids from different women. He makes no effort to fight for visitation. Yes, he lost one or both because of battery to one or both (not sure) women. That’s one fact.
Secondly, he told me that his last ex, took him to court over some of her belongings, and it was thrown out. Now, in black and white, online, it states he owed her 7 grand or better for her belongings.

His precious little dog is now house broken here. So all the excuses of why she shit and pissed all over my floors, was a crock. The people I have spoken to about all the shit and piss on my floor agree, that’s disgusting and not healthy.....however, he ‘seen no problem with it’. Read past entries for complete details. But, I’ve proven, it was bullshit excuses. His little princess will be lost not here. She isn’t alone, has lots of attention. She doesn’t beg for my food, but still expecting to eat off his plate. She knows she is loved here and will never be alone. Going out every 3 hours here to get fresh air, stretch, bathroom etc, will all come to a halt when he takes her from here. There will be accidents which if I remember, as he said here, ‘it’s no big deal’ but when he took her out there and when she came in she pissed on his rug, he was ready to get rid of her for one accident. Is that making sense? It’s not a big deal to have her piss or shit multiple times a day on my carpet, but once on his and he’s ready to get rid of her?

On a different note, (deep sigh), I’ve not just got my headaches, last Saturday, I woke up at 5am, screaming in pain. My left calf spasm so bad that it bruised the outside of my leg, and tore a muscle on the inside. Was difficult walking for 3 days after. Still tender a week later. But I’ve learned to walk on it a different way so I don’t do any more damage.
My IBS is all screwed up. Not sure if it’s stress related. Seems as if I’m allergic to chicken. I know I’m allergic to eggs, but every time I’ve eaten chicken, I get sick. I’m basically on a vegan diet. I really don’t eat much meat at all. Maybe 1 oz twice a week for the vitamins and what not.

We did, my son and I, go to the doctor last Thursday. Got our flu shots, and other shots needed. My son is healthy. 91 pounds now and 5’3” and he’s only 12. He’s doing well. Helped me get the room he’s in currently cleaned up and reorganized. Was proud of him for helping.

But, I’m going to take some medication, and relax.
I got up and gathered the recycling and took it to the recycling center all by myself this morning. Am drained. I didn’t sleep the greatest, and as always, have some pain going on in my shoulder and lower back/hip area and my ankles are swollen.

He’s on his PlayStation offline, and guess who is laying in my lap all on her own and not his.....she didn’t even go up to him, but came to me without my asking.....
Yep....his little princess. What’s that tell you?

Till next time......


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