Lullaby of Woe

Diary of the lost
Ad 2:
2020-11-07 05:23:30 (UTC)


A month ago, I got my job back. Well, I was reassigned to a different branch that was farther than my previous one but a job nonetheless. I was scared, but also glad because I was finally going to have income again.

I should've been happy, or content at the least. But right now, all I feel is numb. In the 4 weeks that I've returned to work, I have had mental breakdowns for each one. I would break down in tears while eating, while I was on my way home, even when I was watching a hilarious video I had big fat tears streaming down my face as I laughed. I was depressed, but I don't know why.

I had a job amidst the pandemic, my dad sends and picks me up from work 80% of the time, I don't have any bills to pay, my co-workers are friendly towards me, and I get paid 11k php per month just to literally scan some papers. So then, why do I feel so empty? So... hollow. Whenever I try to look at my future, all I see is a never ending abyss of nothingness. I am increasingly finding it difficult to see what the point of my life is.