Stuart

My thoughts through living.
Ad 2:
2020-10-26 23:36:58 (UTC)

Naming conversations.

In talking with people I find I solidify myself as a lonely man in their eyes. After what I call a conversation, some will say they went on a rant or just kept talking at me, even when I bring up a topic or talk in equal amounts.

I would say I'm alone but not lonely. I know this is a contradiction that has the same effect as a dog that bites its paws till their bloody out of hate then wages its tail as its owner enters the room but its as true as truth. It rare I feel lonely. I spend all my time sitting in my room, l playing Tetris and theorising on what is good and bad, and don't regret it. All i want it understanding of why we need to exist and find the answer in self-indulgence(that being thinking about oneself). This isn't to say I think high of myself, I'm boring and tiring. But I am who I am for as long as I am so will be me and think of me to make this me the best me I could be to me. I'm almost certain that has been said in some anime where the character has an inner struggle then realises their love for their friends or something. Oh well, at least I don't have a catchphrase.

If I said I was going to name every conversation we've ever had, you'd think of nothing. You'd think of how you've talked to me about your mothers lack of understanding or you talking about your favourite show. I had never spoken to you, just you too me. I am but a mute to you, shooting dark in the night.


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