Subtropical Lady

Where Pelicans Fly
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2020-11-29 16:54:11 (UTC)

November 2020 (3)


Yesterday I indulged in a nice nap for over an hour until the loud paper delivery car woke me up after 4 AM. Yeah, because one shouldn’t be able to nap at 4 in the fucking morning in their own home without noise disturbances. Yes, that was said with a mix of sarcasm, frustration and even anger. One also should have to breathe a huge sigh of relief that they hadn’t yet fallen asleep before a thunderously loud motorcycle zoomed by loud and clear even over a blasting sound machine, right?

Last night I did a 56-minute workout video but no walking. Tonight I did a 23-minute vid and will add some bursts of walking.

Walmart gave us another goodie bag that helps make up for their fuck-ups like how two of his single servings of Pringles potato chips were missing from the pack. I asked if he thought the driver stole them but he thinks they just grabbed one with a couple missing and didn’t notice. I suppose this is possible since I went to grab a case of wine before he noticed that one bottle was missing.

The goodie bag was similar to the last one. A couple of snack bars that were fruity and nutty, another pack of Unstoppables, the same toothpaste sample, and the same two Starbucks K-Cups.

Got some salmon fillets for the first time and OMG, they came out great! I pan-fried them with light olive oil and some frozen mushroom slices. I sprayed everything with butter spray, too.

I only remember one dream from last night. I was standing outside in the evening talking to a couple with three kids that were on their way to a restaurant. I don’t know if I knew Tom or not, but they were neighbors that were going to be moving soon and I was kind of disappointed because they have been good neighbors. The couple was very easygoing.

The woman was saying something about throwing something up into the sky that would glow like a miniature moon.

Then they invited me to accompany them to the restaurant they were going to. I glanced at the kids as they were being loaded into the back of their van and hoped they wouldn’t be too loud and annoying as I agreed to join them.

At the restaurant, the husband excused himself to use the bathroom or something and the woman asked me what I did. I said I did a number of different things online and then she showed me a small notebook with all different kinds of handwriting that one of her kids did.

Then I glanced at the kids across the table and at the other end of it and realize they hadn’t said a single word the entire time. There was one girl and two boys that ranged from around age 8 to 12. The girl looked at me and I thought she had beautiful big brown eyes. They were made up nicely and looked very adult-like which I thought was a bit strange since she was so young.


Woke up tired today and found I had a sleep score of 87. Again, that may be good for most people but anything under 88 and I’m usually tired. I think I’ll take the day off from working out. I was going to go out walking this morning but with temperatures in the forties? No thanks.

Tom has been having trouble sleeping lately and he keeps waking up and he wonders if it’s because he’s been focused too much on his physical health by working out a lot but not working his brain hard enough. So he’s getting back into coding and things like that which requires a lot of thinking.

We picked out a light but neutral-colored peel-and-stick wallpaper for the hall closet. He sawed open part of the wall yesterday in preparation for today’s shower valve replacement. There’s a whole section of pipe that needs to be replaced.

I also grabbed a couple of sets of nail stickers while he was at it and he got himself a keyboard tray so he can shelve his keyboard under his desk when he wants to use the surface for writing or whatever.

One of the nails is by Maitys and comes in a rainbow of solid glitter colors, all of which I like. Even the orange is nice. Except for gold, silver, white and black which is fine, there are no boring earth tones. Mostly pink, purple, green, yellow, red and blue.

Both sets have 16 sets of nails and the second set is by Wokoto, another good brand. This one has mostly shades of yellow, green and purple. That one is arriving today.

The more we checked out self-adhesive wallpaper, the more we liked what we saw and the more I can’t wait to get into wherever we’re going to end up so I can have fun picking out different designs for different rooms. It’s not much cheaper than paint but it sure as hell is a lot more convenient and less messy. Actually, it may be considerably cheaper after you factor in paintbrushes, tape, and the usual supplies you need for painting. I think this would be a great way to do the walls much faster and easier and it would be great not to have to worry about getting paint on things.

The cool thing about this is that you can use it anywhere. You can line shelves with it, you can decorate light plates, furniture…whatever you want. I was thinking that our future house might look great if I picked out two designs per room and have one or two walls with one design and the rest with the other. I would just try to make sure they were designs that went well together, of course. The pink sequined wallpaper is going to be very tempting when the time comes!

We just wish we’d known about this stuff when we first moved in here because it’s ideal for paneling. When we pull the strips off to paint, we have to fill in the gaps, but you wouldn’t need to do that with this stuff. I wouldn’t just like it for the rooms but also for brightening up the dark paneling in the closets which would make the stuff stand out better. I hate dark closets.


And we have success! The shower pipes have been replaced and the new faucet is beautiful and so much easier to use than the old piece of shit we had. Now it doesn’t take forever to adjust the temperature, it doesn’t take 10 turns of the knob to get the hot water on full blast, and it isn’t hard to turn off.

As soon as we’re sure it’s not leaking, we’ll wallpaper the closet. The wallpaper looks much nicer in person. It’s almost metallic-looking. It’s a silvery-gray. Nothing I would get for a place we were staying in but still nice for a closet. As I said, it will brighten up the dark space nicely so things are easier to see.

Using a combination of templates he printed and tape which I placed on one of my nails and traced it with (there’s always at least one nail strip that’s too big for me), I did my nails this morning and they came out nicely. Solid yellow, solid green, and yellow with green and white stripes. The solid olive green ones are so dull so I’m grateful for glitter. I reinforced the solid colors with Ice Queen and the plaid ones with Northern Lights.

The last nail pack I got had the number of sets it was supposed to have but three of the designs were swapped out for other designs, two of which were duplicates. It’s still a beautiful set, though.

Aly’s being cryptic again. Not so much the other day when she bitched about the fact that while she didn’t want to see people suffer, it was hard for her to care as much when her own suffering was dismissed as I knew right away she was likely talking about Molly. Molly’s just selfish like that and always has her own suffering going on, mostly self-made. She even hashtagged it with CrypticTweet.

Today it was to fuck off with your judgmental self and that just because you have something to say doesn’t mean you should say it, and that she has all kinds of things she could say that she keeps to herself.

Her status update on Skype was “here we go again” with a frowning emoji.

A fight with Cam? With her mother?

Does she want to be cryptic and does she want people to ask and prompt her about what’s up? I fucking hate that shit! Just say what’s on your mind or don’t!


I’m so glad I discovered the joy of cooking and how fun it can be, and healthy too, even if I miss things I shouldn’t have at times like potatoes and rice.

Yesterday I had salmon and a mix of veggies (zucchini, peppers, mushrooms) for my first meal, and for my second meal, I had cod with sauteed spinach and diced onion.

My diet is seriously lacking in fiber, so Fitbit is telling me, so I added some beans to the grocery list. I can’t stick to not going over 20 carbs because then I really limit myself from foods my body needs. Beans are still better than potatoes, rice, bread and pasta. If I have between 100 and 150 carbs a day, that’s not too bad.

Tom has always been one who rarely gets hungry but gets cravings instead. However, he said he’s noticed more hunger ever since his blood sugar dipped really low.

I don’t know why my Google Docs isn’t updating to the latest version on my phone, so I guess I’ll have to draft this entry up on my desktop and put up with their fucked up speech to text. Oh, it works great other than taking it upon itself to censor my swears but I hate how it deactivates the document when it stops. I wish it would keep running until I stop it.

I really appreciate the virtual hug from Aly since I discovered Fuzzy has a tumor yesterday. Yeah, my little ratty only has a few months left if even that. I suspected it a couple of days ago but wasn’t sure. It’s on the back of his neck. It’s fast-growing and now very obvious. Very typical for a 2-year-old rat too, as sad as it is. His birthday is on the 27th and he’s at the end of his lifespan.

I also appreciate how she remembered I’m on statins now and asked how that’s going. It’s going great so far! Still think it’s not going to be enough, though. I think I’m going to need my dose doubled to 20 milligrams at some point.

Anyway, it’s cold and the planes are annoying as usual. I saw a headline about people flying for the holidays despite the warnings. And guess who’s got to listen to the defiance? Yeah, well, someday. Someday we’ll get away from this shit. It may not be quiet, but it will definitely be quieter when we’re out of a flight path and off a busy street. Damn, though. How I would love to live in Miami with its perfect weather year-round! But it’s too crowded, too expensive, and too diverse. Diversity is fine when I’m out in public, but I would prefer to live with my own kind.

I’m glad to know my furry little friend doesn’t appear to be suffering. Fortunately, they remain active until their final few days. I don’t expect him to live past April. :-(

We went to Rite-Aid yesterday where he grabbed some snacks and I grabbed some wine. Afterward, I went for a half-hour walk. It was chilly but nice. Of course, I ran into four different landscaping games going on along the way, and two planes flew overhead. No annoying mutts, though, and not as much traffic as I expected. I’m probably going to go out walking around the same time this morning.

At least on Thanksgiving, there shouldn’t be any projects or landscaping. Just a bunch of vehicle doors slamming.

It’s continued to be desert-dry here. Temps have been the same for a while now. It gets in the low sixties in the afternoon and the high thirties at night.

Going to be hitting the shower soon. It’s so wonderful to take a shower with decent water pressure and that functions the way it should! There was just a slight drip after his shower yesterday that he fixed easily enough before re-patching the wall where he cut it out. I guess today we’ll wallpaper the closet.

So I won NaNoWriMo but didn’t. Because I opted not to associate this project with a NaNo event so I could lower my word count, it didn’t recognize it as a win once I hit 10K words.

I’ve made amazing progress with this story and find it surprisingly fun to write, too. I’m not only turning reality into bullshit but I’m even twisting the reality. I’ve got a lot more work to do on it and it will probably end up being a much longer story than expected. At least 50K words. Although it is a story in the traditional sense, I’m kind of writing scenes that occur in no particular order, although mostly in order because it’s easier to tell the story that way, if that makes any sense.

I can’t believe the new house that was brought in is still sitting there, still waiting to be set up, still unoccupied. The neighbors must love it though.

I’ve got to watch those codes when I use the image hosting site I’ve been using for PB pics. The fuckers are embedding spam into it so there’s a link to various stores online that shouldn’t be there.

I switched out my email address on PB for a bogus one. I don’t know about LiveJournal but Blogger sends warnings if an unrecognized browser tries to log into my blog there, and I can monitor IP logins on MD. But if anyone out there happened to know my email address, they could hack my PB account without me knowing (unless they changed anything noticeable), but not anymore. Now, if they happen to have password-cracking software, it’s worthless to them unless they can figure out the fake email address.

There are other ways, though, like clicking on spyware, but as far as I know, I have nothing like that running on my PC.

What surprised me was that Aly said that if you know a person’s IP address you can hack in through that. If that’s true, wow! I didn’t know that. So much for thinking knowing an IP address was worthless other than to maybe find out where they are.

I realize she’s smart enough to have slipped me a link that would record all my keystrokes and login info to any account I use if she were that curious but if she has, she’s at least had the decency not to fuck with anything that I know of.

Starting to think my little Jamberry friend on PB is going to be all talk and no action. I fucking hate people that say they’re going to do something that they don’t but I’m not surprised. This isn’t someone that’s very mature, smart, or stable, and therefore not very reliable.


I can’t believe how many people are dumb enough to fly despite the increase in virus cases. It was one plane after another this morning as usual. Really hoping to get a break from that tomorrow with it being Thanksgiving! Along with landscaping and projects, of course. The only annoyance around here tomorrow should be vehicle-related. I’m sure they’ll be some motorcycles too.

Here we go again with the random fatigue. I just don’t understand why I have these days. As Tom says, he still feels like he felt in his twenties. He doesn’t sleep that great these days yet he still has plenty of energy. With me, it’s hit or miss. I’m either going to have the energy to function or I’m going to be too tired to do much other than what I need to do.

One problem with sleeping with Alexa’s nature sounds at night is the gap at the end which I sometimes wake up to as it loops. There’s a skill I enabled where tracks run for 10 hours and you can even mix two sounds at once but that’s a premium feature. I may try the free trial later.

Fitbit sleep scores are definitely meaningless because yesterday I got the lowest score ever of 81 yet had plenty of energy. I was super active yesterday. I went on a long walk and we wallpapered the closet which came out great and was simple enough to do. In fact, we’re thinking of papering the kitchen but probably won’t bother with the laundry room. In there, we’ll just touch up the paint where it’s needed. The only hard part about doing the closet was that since it’s smaller than a phone booth, he was pretty cramped in there. He thinks it would be easier to do the living room than that little closet.

Today I got a sleep score of 87 and I’m so exhausted it’s almost debilitating. I still don’t understand it, as I said. Something’s got to be causing it, but what??? He’s older than me, he sleeps just as shitty, yet he’s never this fatigued.

I read that it takes an average of 77 days to sell a house in California. Not sure if that applies to manufactured homes but they say about 42 days to get an offer and then another 35 to close everything. So if it went up around the first of March, we could be looking at getting out of here as early as mid-May, but June or July is more likely.

Christiane shared another video with me through Messenger yesterday. Some political rally in Germany. But then when I asked her how she was and said I was doing well even though my little rat is dying, I got nothing.


Returned from a chilly yet sunny and windy walk this morning. Yesterday the planes were absolutely horrible. It was one after another after another after another… Today, however, it’s been nearly dead quiet except for the freeway. I don’t mind the buzz of the freeway as long as motorcycles stay out of the picture. I realize that if the land were as flat as Florida, we wouldn’t hear much of the freeway. Maybe a little bit if we went outside but that’s about it. But because it’s uphill, the sound can just go straight through.

The Twenties aren’t home, and no one has arrived next door or across the street. At least not yet. I’m just enjoying the peace while it lasts because I know that it isn’t every day that I’m going to be able to hear just one commercial plane and a couple of small planes and that’s it, although the day is still young. Who knows what I’ll be in for later on?

So yesterday I got a sleep score of 87 and was tired although I did perk up later in the day which I don’t usually do these days so that was nice. Today I got a sleep score of 86 and I feel great, so I don’t know if I’ll bother checking sleep scores anymore since they’re so meaningless. I could swear I heard a thump at 7:30, though, which was probably someone crashing into the speed bump, but I was getting up at that time anyway.

It was great sleeping to premium Nature Sounds last night! The $1.60 a month it costs is totally worth it. I can play two sounds at once which gives me a wider range of frequencies to help block out noise whenever I’m sleeping in the daytime. Higher-pitched sounds for the microwave beeping or something like that and lower pitch sounds for loud vehicles. Motorcycles and other ferociously loud vehicles would still override it because we’re still very close to the street. So there’s no getting around that much. But still, I might be able to do away with the stereo altogether.

Another benefit that I accidentally discovered is that if I have chirping birds playing, my speech-to-text doesn’t click off and deactivate the document I’m working on because it thinks I’m about to say something.

Here’s where I’m glad there’s no such thing as “white privilege.” Tom has put in applications every single week and they look at them yet never call. Why? Well, his extensive work history is a good indication that he’s getting old, and his name provides enough of a clue as to his color. This would normally piss me off but because of the virus, I’m kind of glad. At the same time, he can’t stay out of work forever. If worse comes to worst, he’ll grab a job at Amazon. They take everybody all the time.

I was randomly reading around the net as I was unwinding yesterday, and it seems you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t as far as what you have for calories goes. It says 1200 calories a day is usually bad for most adults, including small women unless you only do it temporarily because it messes with your metabolism. It can also lead to other health problems.

But then if you eat more, you’re at risk of weight gain which can cause its own host of health issues. So it’s like you’re screwed either way and you might as well just eat when you’re hungry, LOL. I’ve never been a pleasure eater or a stress eater. If I’m really nervous or depressed, I can’t eat much. I almost always only eat when my body feels the urge to eat. As I was telling a friend, the standard 2000 calories a day is too much for me. 1500 is about right although some days I do go a little under or a little over.

I’ve gone up a pound recently (156 is my new low) and I’m also aware of the fact that our metabolism continues to slow about a percent each year until we’re 65, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I one day peaked 10-15 pounds higher than I am right now before I start coming back down due to a combination of the muscle and bone loss you get with age, loss of appetite, and God forbid whatever diseases or illnesses I may have in my final months or years of life.


Yesterday I did my nails with beautiful silver-to-black gradient stickers, but they weren’t sticky enough and fell off. I replaced them with a better brand and now they’re light pink.

Then an idea came to me on how to make the shitty brand stickier. If I use my tea tree base coat, that would make my nail surface smoother and maybe the strips would stick easier. I wouldn’t have to damage my nails with polish remover to remove it either since it could just flake off and not be visible since it’s clear. However, I find that pulling nail stickers off of the polish that’s underneath it can remove enough of it.

Decided that once we move, I’m going to let myself gain whatever weight my body feels it needs to gain by eating a comfortable calorie amount and a comfortable amount of variety. I know it sounds funny but I’m tired of trying to hold back the tide here. It’s just too much work. Depriving myself of calories and variety day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, just isn’t worth it. I don’t know how much I’ll gain and I know that it would be putting my health at risk to a degree, but I’ll still eat healthy most of the time and I’ll still be active most days because I’m too restless not to be. I’ve thought it through and told myself to be sure I’m ready to do this because once I climb up the scale, I’m not going to be able to get back down. But yes. It’s time. I’m ready. I’m tired of constantly having to hold back in so many ways, plus I’m never going to have a normal thyroid/metabolism.

It takes a certain amount of calories to maintain certain weights so since I don’t plan to keep increasing my calorie intake indefinitely, I don’t think I would gain weight all my life and end up 1000 pounds overweight. I hope I won’t even hit 200 but I don’t know. I’ve never done this before. I just know I can’t keep going the way I have for another 20-something years. It isn’t that I would eat much more quantity-wise than I already do but I would have more variety more often and some of those foods aren’t great for weight.

I figured that when we move would be a good time to do it because we’re going to be getting new clothes in Florida anyway and I figure a new doctor can’t be alarmed over all this sudden weight gain if it’s already there. But if I went from 155 to 180 with this doctor, she could really get on me about it and I really hate being nagged about things I have little to no control over. Not saying my weight would go to 180 but I suppose it could.

Again, I know this wouldn’t help my blood pressure or cholesterol and that I would lose even more flexibility and be at risk of diabetes but always having to choke back this and avoid that really drives a person crazy after a while.

The statins sometimes give me an upset stomach. I still feel queasy now. Last night, when I felt nauseous after taking my pill, I ate a couple of the pigs’ grape tomatoes and that helped settle it a little bit. This worries me, though, for when they increase my dose. Tom read that it’s a minor side effect that’s nothing serious. I just have to make sure I don’t take it on an empty stomach.

I just can’t fucking escape side effects, can I? Oh well. It’s better than some other side effects I’ve had and could have from statins.

Funny how Aly tweets on her “secret” account that she hates the word “normal” because it’s so dismissive and generic, yet she uses it in a tweet to me.


Got 4 perfume samples in the mail yesterday.

It’s a good thing Miss Jamberry’s all talk and no action because from what I researched, I would have to use nail polish remover to remove the wraps, so no thanks. Really thought they were stickers you stuck on your nails or peeled off like what I’ve been using. But they’re definitely not.

Was looking at striping stickers for nails on Amazon that I think I’ll grab whenever we do another order. It would be a great way to jazz up the dull colors that some of these sets include. They’re mostly metallics in different colors.

I’ve had a night to sleep on it and I still feel like I’m making the right decision by eating when I’m hungry and not depriving my body of the variety it needs. On Atkins, you can only have the same damn 4 foods…fruit, veggies, meat and eggs. I love that stuff but once or twice a week I want to add a little sugar or maybe have some pizza or indulge in creamy pasta like chicken noodle casserole or turkey tetrazzini. I don’t want to keep eating the same foods day in and day out. And again, even if I was suddenly 120 pounds at the snap of my fingers, I would still have to continue eating those 4 foods every day for life to maintain it.

But the reality is that this will only drop me a few pounds. Not worth the deprivation. Part of loving and accepting myself is letting my body do what it naturally feels it needs to do. If I eat right most days and keep active yet gain some weight, then it was just meant to be, and my body felt it needed it. Becoming obese doesn’t automatically mean I’m going to be unhealthy though I do kind of worry about how I’ll get around since it’s going to dampen my mobility even more, but millions of obese/morbidly obese people survive, so I will too.

Just a little hesitant to start before my last appointment with my Cali doctors but we’ve got a Walmart delivery coming tomorrow with more variety for me. I miss having snacks between meals too, and it’s hard to bring myself to snack on veggies when I have them with every single fucking meal. So I got some gluten-free ice cream that’s keto-friendly and some popcorn.

I vaguely remember visiting Aly in my dreams, although it wasn’t her house but her parents’ instead. It was a 3-story house that was tall and skinny with walls made of stone. There were these trees that extended up and over it and I thought, Wow, those are really tall trees!


Feeling kind of bad for Aly who has had more health issues than anyone deserves, especially her and especially for one who is still relatively young. It makes me realize even more that the extra weight I carry, even if it’s not much for my age, is a sign that I’m healthy. The extra weight and my muscle makes it hard for me to jump and things like that, but is actually much better than being too thin. I’m sure Aly has a great range of mobility compared to me, even though flexibility isn’t just about one’s weight, but looking and feeling sickly can be worse than having a little extra meat, so seeing her suffer in the way she’s suffering makes me feel bad for her and see the good in what I’ve got. If I were like Kim that would be different as that’s way too extreme. But a little cushy or not, I definitely look and feel healthy. Just tired and anxious at times. November turned out to be a good month anxiety-wise as I only had one anxious day. Still have another day left this month to go, though.

There really is no getting around that age-old golden rule of burning more than you take in to lose weight, but as long as I’m healthy and therefore with a decent appetite, I still can’t see myself either burning it through working out practically all day long or by mega-low calories which again, couldn’t be done just to lose the weight but also to keep it off, so it would have to be a complete lifestyle change. No thanks! I would rather just be sensible, so to speak, and eat healthy most of the time and keep active as well. That’s good enough for me except that my hip has decided no more activity for me today.

He and I went out walking and I did some jogging which evolved into all-out running, and ouch! Not so sure it’s an injury that never heals anymore so much as arthritis, but I can’t say for sure. Because I’m on nights half the time, it’s still good for me to get out when I can to get some sunlight. I just have to try to keep from running as much as it’s hard to resist when I’m going downhill.

Yesterday I was very active. A 15-minute walk 44-minute aerobics video.

LMAO! Tom just started sneezing which got Rockefeller screaming. Of course the picky, ungrateful bastards are ignoring their vitamin C tablets. Oh well. It’s their health. Rockefeller has always been fine. It’s just Blitz that’s questionable but maybe it isn’t about a lack of vitamin C but something else instead. He doesn’t always limp anyway.

I may have been active before my hip got to me but I’m being a naughty girl food-wise as I usually am once a week. I would go crazy if I could never take a day off and treat myself which is exactly what would be the case if I were to take any of the extreme measures to lose weight. I would still rather wait until I’m old and dying, LOL. So while I did get a small box of chocolate-covered cherries, I didn’t want to overdo the sugary treats, so I got a tin of popcorn with three different flavors… caramel, cheddar and butter. The tin has a cute puppy design on it and even though it has a wintry background it’s so cute and I might save it.

We also indulged in DiGiorno pizza and while he absolutely loved it, I think it’s overpriced crap. The stuffed crust was okay but the pizza itself wasn’t the least bit crispy like I like it. It was almost soggy and fell apart in my hands.

Since I’ve been dreaming of Aly more often lately, I wonder if will be meeting next year after all. It’s usually just her and I talking and sometimes Tom as well. It also doesn’t seem to be at her house but at a restaurant which does make sense when you consider Cam has to sleep during the day. If we did end up driving we would never have to go to her house. We could meet at a hotel or restaurant.

It’s still a toss of a coin at this point as to whether or not we’re going to drive or fly. It’s all going to depend on money and I can assure you that I’m going to be delighted and disappointed no matter which one happens, LOL. We’ll just have to wait and see what our money is like then and what we can get for this place. If we fly, I really REALLY hope she can eventually make it down to us in Florida whether she flies or drives by herself or with someone else!

IDK, the flying dream left me with one of “those” feelings that the Aly dreams didn’t.

Peace from the planes at night is now a thing of the past. Figured they would steal the nights anytime now. So now I have to listen to the fuckers until midnight. When they really get to me, I want to lash out at them on Twitter but they’ll never read it, and if they ever did start reading their mentions, they still won’t give a shit about anybody but themselves.

I tried to go live on Twitter but whenever I would play back the video, it cut off some of what I was saying. Same with when I tried to do regular videos.

I checked my schedule program to get a sense of where my schedule is going to line up for my March and April appointments, and my ENT and PCP look good. The dentist is iffy, though.

Tom is treating me to a couple of sets of nail stickers for my upcoming birthday, including striping stickers to decorate some of them with, and blueberry-vanilla K-Cups! :-)