middle age Womt
Ad 2:
2020-10-10 15:17:40 (UTC)

If I could trade my life I will I'm too tired of living

Today I decided to push all my work away and write some thoughts here.
many weeks or months have past
I could smile or be happy
the last time I laugh to my heart content seem to be so long go I forgotten
so many things has happen....
my mil diagnosed with cancer
I keep myself busy
I didnt even have time to be sad
neither is him
sis in law cried so hard that night she got a migraine after receiving the news
just a few days ago he call
he overlook and make a mistake in one of the deal
without a second of thoughts I rush down
there was noting I could do to salvage
we keep our finger cross
the next day he suddenly said
that night when he close the deal he ask himself
if only mum is okay
he was sad too yet he cant express it out like he wanted to
I'm sad
I feel so helpless
I start to think if only 8 years ago I did salvage my marriage
I allow him and the girl to carry on the affair
maybe he have a happy marriage life. he be father of two
his mother would have stay home to look after grandchildren
she wouldn't have overworked
she would have cancer
I feel I'm the cause of everything
I never do anything right in my life
having me in this world is a pain to my family and everyone that loves me
if god ask me to give my life to his mother
I would
she deserve to live longer
I deserve to leave this world