Truer than True
Through My Eyes
I’m home to much
I’ve been crying the last few days because I don’t like the way my life is. I feel so alone and I want to be out more. I used to love being home but now all I want to do is go but I have nowhere to go. I work from home and have been for the last 4 years. I started going back into the office at the beginning of the year so I can be around more people but unfortunately COVID came and that resulted in me having to work back at home again. I’m at a point in my life I want to be out and around people. I feel I need interaction in my life and I want to miss my home. I don’t miss it because I’m always home. I do everything at home, I work from home, I have church at home to where I’m at a point I don’t miss my home. My sister lives 60 miles away and my brother lives even farther. My friends have moved out of state so I can only talk to them over the phone or message them. Since I’ve recently been diagnosed with epilepsy I haven’t been able to drive myself anywhere because my license is temporarily suspended due to the seizures. Apparently the doctors are required to notify DMV if their patient has a seizure. I understand it’s for safety. However this has resulted in me being indoors even more. My son was taking me places but I can’t always rely on him because he has a life. My brother had came down and was driving me around to get me out the house but he has returned home resulting in me being indoors even more. Last week I got up and got on the bus for the first time in decades. Lol! But that anger some of my family because they was afraid I would have a seizure on the bus. But I must say I truly enjoyed myself on my little journey and it felt really good getting out. I recently have contacted my primary doctor to see if she can complete the paperwork to get my license reinstated but she forwarded the information to the doctor who diagnosed me and he’s on vacation so I have to wait until he returns to get an answer. I’m hoping I can get my license reinstated especially since all of my test came back normal and honestly I don’t think they’re even sure if I truly had a seizure. If and when I do get my license reinstated I’m going to drive myself everywhere even if I have to go by myself. I want to see the world, especially the beaches because that is my all time favorite place to be.
Update: Per the doctor my license can’t be reinstated at this time because I need to be seizure free for 3-6 months. I guess I will be on the bus again because I plan on getting out the house more. My family will have to be upset with me because I don’t want to be indoors as much anymore and if they can’t take me or live near me to take me anywhere then I have no other choices but to ride the bus.