Wr1tt3n0ne

Bunches and bunches
2020-09-27 21:44:35 (UTC)

Rainbow Phrases

When in love, I am circumspect about declarations. I have grown up into feeling them without unduly self critical judgement. I can explore them, internally, without self recriminations. So as my relationship with Mr. Curved Line progresses, I find that I have grown bold and am wont to say such rainbow phrases, occasionally, to express myself. I do not hold them up as the gospel truth, more as a wish of a future that included them. Alternatively, as things I feel are true currently.

And so on spending so much time caring for him as he recuperates, I mentioned my feelings on such rainbow phrases. He seemed receptive and then the dam broke. He felt and had not given voice to several deeply held so called rainbow phrases. It stripped the breath from my lips until my very chest ached from the feelings he named in himself and also in me. It's been sheer hours of care taking and work and also this expression of all the rainbows we both felt and wondered if we could or should share.

As I was unable to get to my writing as often as I had wished to, the environment of his home is louder and more hectic, I reached the zenith of my feelings and withdrew into myself. He quietly asserted that I was off and took my hand in his and assured me I could speak to him about anything that ailed me or not and I was completely accepted and comforted. That momentary vulnerability reduced me instantly to speaking from my heart. And I fell asleep in his arms after, peaceful and serene.

When I awoke I assured him, I was having adaptation pains and I did not need to head back to my home nor have him reorder his at all for me. I was working out my place and time for my outlet, writing to all of you, and how it fit in my new daily life at his place. He is a great man for me in the ways he cares naturally answer the ways I need to be cared for. Not to say we always get along without a hitch, but it is to say the understanding we share allows problems to be flowed around and through easily when we are diligent in making space for each other.

And the way he speaks to me, it is at once honest and piercing. He has earned my respect with the way he accords himself and stands for others in his family. His rainbow phrases were ardently out of my wildest fantasies of what I might one day feel or hear from another soul who came to love me. I never expected they would come all from one source and that the mesmerizing nature of them would shake the ground I stood on.

A schoolgirl dream of mine has been to have another person so taken with me they feel lack of me as a dearth of their sustenance. Their hunger for my touch, my love, or my presence in their lives would ignite a need in them. In his words I heard all of that today and was so profoundly affected that I forgot to breathe and swooned in his arms, caught with my heart aching and my peak receding. Overcome, I was quite beyond words and he cradled me competently in his arms.

Of all the things I have been told I am, this was a set that hurt in a way that will forevermore bring a smile to my lips. Rainbow phrases burned into my soul.




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