༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻

Ramblings & RL Stories
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2020-09-24 07:40:25 (UTC)

Shut that shit down......


“I’ll shut that shit down right now”
“you keep this shit up our relationship is done”

Those are the words that broke it completely.

He asked me to watch the tv show “Wife swap”
I asked “Would you swap me”
He replied “yeah I’d swap you for 7 days”
He asked “would you swap me”
I said “no, I have no desire to be with another man”
He said “they don’t have sex”
I said “doesn’t matter, sex or no sex, I have no desire to swap you for another man”
I then said “you wanna swap me, I could have a new man every 7 days”
He of course, didn’t appreciate that comment.
He then he was joking about swapping me for another woman.

Bullshit.

He hung up ticked off.
Said “have a good night”
To me, that implies he is done talking to me.......or am I wrong?

So, he calls an hour or so later...
I was busy putting up dinner in the kitchen and making coffee so didn’t hear the phone.

He left a voicemail the third time about how I’m ignoring his calls.
I sent a text saying excuse me and listed off what I was doing.
He then sent a text back “you always have an excuse to not answer my calls”
I replied “as do you”
He said “lol ok”

He text asking if I was awake
Took me three minutes to reply.....
“Sorry was in the washroom, you can add it to my excuses I give”

He called and told me “I will shut that shit down right now. You keep this up our relationship is done”

I said, “ok, I love you” and I hung up.
I removed him on Snapchat. I muted his Facebook messenger. I’m not going to be threaten. You want this relationship done, you got it.
I’m not going to listen to being called names.....ass.....grouchy......etc and sit back and take it.
He fucked up.
Last nights words, is not going to fly.


Other than that,
Monday the new stove and refrigerator are installed. Thanks Indio.

I had some intense muscle spasms on Monday night. So bad, I wanted to kill my self. That’s the second time in a month the spasms have been debilitating.
I had laid off the “smoking medication” so that night, hit it a few times. I now, make a point to have a hit or two first thing in the morning, then at lunch, then at bedtime. So far, no sever spasms.

6:20am

Just got a text at 6:02am
“Good morning baby I love you I’m sorry for last night”

What the fuck do I do now?
Did he say I’m sorry via text because he knows I removed him? He knows I’m serious? Will wait for his call and see how it goes. Saying I’m sorry via text is not the same as actually saying it via speaking. Not to mention, anyone can say I’m sorry, but do they actually mean it.

I have not responded. Don’t plan on it. I’m not happy at all. Between the swap me out comment and threading comment, I’m just pushed away in so many aspects.

I did tell him “you think you can find a better woman, feel free to.

He just sent another message “I made it to work safe and I could ever do a wife swap not even for a tv show”

Think he’s scared to call?
Normally he calls me while he sits at work waiting.

I personally have no clue what to text. Will just say morning. I’m not in the mood to talk to him. I hope his heart aches like hell all day. I hope guilt haunts him all day.
I probably shouldn’t feel that way but I do.
Hurt, is hurt.

I just sent a text “morning glad you made it safe” and nothing else.
I’m seriously not happy.

(Deep sigh)

Anyway.....
Forgot what else I was writing about.
Can’t remember the last time I was on here. Think it was Sunday or Monday. So trying to backtrack and do the update thing.

I sent a text “I love you and will always love you”
He said “I know baby as do I”
He’s not calling. One of two reasons.....
Talking to my replacement
Or he is hiding through his texts

Been writing this on my notepad and will post once I’m finished.

Been doing a ton of house work. Getting rid of some light clutter, and just cleaning and organizing a bit.
Been overdoing it, but need it to get done.
I been looking at things and think I hold on to too much shit for whatever reason.

Still waiting on social security.
Wish my approval was now.
Wish they could see how bad my spasms get, with no warning and no notice. Hard to have a job when you live with this. Not to mention the nerve pain and falling asleep like I do.

I got a call yesterday from a ‘mediator’ was an automated message, so I called it a few times to ask what this is about but the answering service never answered my question. I’m not sure who would be attempting to take me to court, I’m guessing Limp. I’m not sure what for. Only thing I can think of is shit he can’t find. He was kicked out in December, I asked numerous times to get his crap even in March. I even took all his crap and set it outside.

So, 732am
He called
Chatted for an hour about different things
I did say “people should live with the consequences of their words”
He did apologize twice about both comments/statements he made.
I think he knows I’m upset and he fucked up royally.


(Deep sigh)

My ‘meditation’ still working after 3 hours, so I can’t exactly focus. It’s ok. An empty mind is better than a full mind....

Anyway
Gotta get the kid up for school and get shit done.

I will reply to pm’s later y’all. Sorry, busy life.


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