Christopher Mel

The Mirror
2020-09-19 10:25:07 (UTC)

Shallow

Yep, we all are to a degree. This is prominent in every single interaction with other human beings throughout the day, be it in a physical social setting or online one. I just found it humorous the amount of attention, invites, requests, chats, and general inquiry I would receive when I would log onto my female character in one of those popular online open world games. People are so damn nice and helpful. The number 1 question being: "Are you a gurl?" My responses are never direct and troll-worthy in nature. Of course once they get wind of what you are behind the computer or console, they stop being so helpful and talkative. What's wrong? A second ago you were so damn helpful and friendly. Now, ghost. My female character wasn't designed to be that attractive. Moderate. She was based off of someone I met in real life, who was cool af and a total bad ass. The dark eyes was not to be goth but rather to accentuate the look of a racoon, since the character is roleplaying a thief/master criminal, afterall. Both my male and female characters are pretty well dressed, though my male char has more suits and funny gear while my female char tends to have more stylized outfits which vary for the event I'm doing. Still, young virgins and thirsty fuckers who already have girlfriends aren't deterred from trying to get with my female sprite. I said this a while back but seeing things from the female's point of view, I can see why most of them get so pissed or were so accustomed to brushing people off somewhat rudely. Because they got tired of random guys slobbering over them all day. That shit gets annoying. I see that. FFS. So you think I'm a girl; why do you want to help me so damn badly? Why do you care so much how happy I am? Would you be just as concerned if it was a male struggling with something? I have a co-worker who just happens to be one of the most beautiful women of all time. Every fucking morning- as a matter of fact all day long these guys from the other departments come in to talk to her and hug and smooch her up. And some of these guys are married? Fuck dude, like zombies, running on pure primal biological imperatives. What was once a human being is just some creature driven by his lizard brain. Give people their space. I think it's just one of those things that once you become aware of it it's impossible to not see. And it's cringy to look at even though I do my best to ignore it. Just because she isn't a bitch to talk to or blow you off the first five seconds doesn't mean she's interested. Maybe she's just being nice. Just goes to show you that people do in fact treat you based on how you look. Fat people may receive different treatment in comparison to their thinner peers, black women are more likely to be undermined at work, especially by (and get this hypocrisy) OTHER WOMEN, old-generation thinking folks who have yet to die out who snicker, sneer, or show visible disdain when they see gay or biracial couples, and as a black male, still get the instinctive shopping cart/purse clutching, casual smile disappears off their face the instant I come into view. My favorite are the ones who try SO HARD to hide their instinctive fear and/or bias and are blatantly pretending to 'tolerate' you. And it's only noticeable BECAUSE they were trying so hard to do so, practically stumbling while they do it. The annoying part is thinking we would have absolutely ZERO awareness of this, like we're completely fucking dense and aren't seeing what you're doing, or rather, struggling to do. It seems that what was once a human being has just become a frightened animal so that's what I'm going to acknowledge you as, since you perceive me as a threat or monster. I'm going to consider you a frightened animal. Seems fair, right? When you learn to act and acknowledge others like human beings, especially the ones who look different than you(cause I know you think that the world centers around you and that means everything has to fucking look like you), maybe then I'll consider treating you like an actual human being. But the worst by far are people who see someone with a disability or disfigurement, and they stare. I don't mean passive glances or a double-take, but full on, non stop stare to the point where it makes them uncomfortable. I almost want to slap the person's jaw shut and say "has your brain processed it yet?" Yes, people look different from you. Can you get over it? Why is it taking your brain so long to process this? And why is it the problem of the person you're judging? Oh, it's not. Just yours.
I should also bring up that I noticed the same lack of acceptance from people whom were treated negatively because of their looks as well(another example being as I mentioned earlier with women undermining other women at work). You'd think because they were on the receiving end of it that they would be more understanding, but it turns out sometimes those who are considered ugly or undesirable can be just as lacking in depth. Case in point, why you never see what some would consider an ugly person with another ugly person, despite them complaining that 'nobody wants them because they're ugly'. One might say: "well why don't all the lonely/self-perceived ugly people just get with each other? Turns out, because they want the attractive ones too. Then they have the nerve to consider someone shallow because they turned them down for being ugly, ignoring the fact that they only wanted that person because they were 'pretty'. If you can't even acknowledge the hypocrisy in your own situation, then you may have more underlying issues here. You want the 'attractive' people to like you for you, to accept you. But apparently the so-called 'ugly' people can't accept themselves or any other non attractive person, is that it? But you want everyone else to? Come off it mate. Oh, and there are exemptions. I never once said all people fit into that category of the examples given, however I did say at the beginning that we are all shallow 'to a degree'.
After saying all that, you can understand why it can be somewhat annoying to be harassed online of all places, in a stupid online game. Had some young females employees temp here. And of course, only the obnoxious, socially inept, unfriendly, generally douche-baggish types decided to hit on them. All of a sudden they decided to whip up some artificial charm and talk like normal human beings, which they've never taken the time to do until they saw a 'pretty girl'. Sometimes I wonder if their 'millennial social ineptitude' was all just a rouse to deter people from being around them, the same way a skunk sprays other creatures to protect themselves, and not actually a result of lack of social skills, effort, upbringing, boredom, and lack of assertiveness. It's like whatever aura they display that makes you want to punch them in the face when you see them is turned off, like a switch, at will, when in the presence of a 'pretty girl'. And it's like: "So you CAN act like a functioning human being!" when the prospect of sex arises, of course. By the way, that girl was 17. Whatever, not my business. Not my problem. When you get "me too'd" years down the line that's all on you. The same guys who thought they were too cool for the room have a change of heart when they see a pretty girl online and want to act all nice and shit. Get the fuck outta here. Then they get offended when women don't give them the desired results when trying that 'nice guy' routine. Because it's disingenuous. It's obvious and people can see it coming. What did you expect? Idiots. Although, I suppose it doesn't matter who or what you are. Even a super villain who's committed genocide, even among children, can make a woman fall head over heels with him if he's attractive and charismatic enough. Anyone who says that they didn't choose their mate because of their looks, or specifically, that looks NEVER FACTORED into their selection process, or that 'just being yourself' is good enough is full of shit. Life doesn't work that way. People don't work that way, because if we did, we would ALL be in loving relationships right now. Well, at least those who aren't abusive or psycho at least. You've seen the meme, attractive guy gives compliment, is seen as endearing and cute. Ugly guy gives compliment: reported as sexual harassment. If you vs let's say a generic celebrity name, I don't know, Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling fed the same lines to the same women at two different points in time, who'd you think would have more overall success? Exactly. Am I'm sure both men and women were able to mentally answer that question without a second of thought. It was instinctively easy. That's the point. It seems to be ingrained in our nature and therefore unavoidable. Is it really? Seems so. There was a website I believe, where guys would post two profiles. One of themselves and one with photos of some super hot buff dude. Same bios pretty much, where the guy making the real and fake profiles was 'being himself' and guess which profile got tons of matches? See, you already know the answer to that. Go look it up yourself, but you probably don't need to because deep down inside we all know who and what we are. We're all a little bit shallow. It's okay, because it seems to be ingrained in our human nature. I think it's healthier mentally to be honest with each other instead of lying, giving false perceptions and giving each other false notions of hope. No expectations. No motives. No nothing. At least that way when we die we can look forward to it with no fear "yay this is finally gonna end now about time" as opposed to "omg I don't wanna die I have so much I don't wanna miss out on". I don't know about you but I'm actually excited about mine. Lol, haven't been to the doctor in YEARS and I'm not going to. *leans back in chair* I'm not paying for shit. To postpone my death? I'd have all my side projects done by then so what do I care? I'm not spending years bogged down in medical debt, being miserable. Fuck that, I'm outta here, hahaha.


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