Subtropical Lady

September 2020 (1)

9/1/2020 Tuesday 10 p.m.

Fell asleep around 5 and woke up right before 8 to pee. It was then that I realized I was nauseous and had likely eaten something bad. Probably the tilapia which was the last thing I ate before bed. I had noticed a funny little spot on it but didn't think much of it. I took a Tums and lay there for a while with nausea coming and going in waves until I finally puked. Fortunately, I didn't get as bad as the last time I experienced food poisoning since it didn't last as long, and I didn't have the runs. A few hours later I fell back asleep for a few more hours, so I'm a little tired today but not as tired as I could be. My stomach is still a bit queasy too, but I doubt I'll throw up again.

Funny how I don’t puke since the late 90s in Phoenix – not in Maricopa, not in K-Falls, not in Auburn – then I come here and puke TWICE. The last time was a year or two ago.

Fitbit thinks my heart spiked to 163 after I got up. Hope that’s wrong and that I didn’t A-fib.

Even though I've known Aly for a dozen years now, we continue to really get to know and understand each other which is nice. I think she understands that some bad experiences means you don't go back to where you were before. You go through medical trauma like I did, you don't quite go back to where you were. Just like you don't quite see some people in the same light after you go through the legal shit I went through in Arizona. As I told her, I can totally see how a woman being raped could really change her view of men and even become violent and abusive towards them in the future.

So do I have a problem with the black person that treats me with kindness and respect at a doctor's office or in some store or wherever? Absolutely not. Do I have a problem with them as a whole? Yeah, kind of, but then the older I get, like most older people, I just don't care for people in general no matter who or what they are.

Right or wrong, I like to check crime rates and “pies” when considering moving to a new area. I would prefer 70 to 75% vanilla.

Tampa is predominantly black and can be dangerous as well. Raj and Tina up in Oregon told me they hated it there and had problems with blacks there as did other family members. I don't care if I have to shop with certain people, I just would prefer not to live with them. So Tom began checking out this new area that he hadn't checked out or considered before and that's the northern part of the gulf coast. Towns like Palm Harbor, Largo, Port Richey and Clearwater are predominantly white, but they're close enough to Tampa if you ever need to go to the city for something that's not in the smaller towns.

The problem with Venice is that their space rents are too high, almost comparable to here. In this area, they go down to the 400s. That's a third of this place! It would probably be an old dumpy single-wide. Even though it would be in a park and I'm sure the neighbors would find a way to annoy me, it would only be for a few months and it would be fun to be able to bike ride just a mile away to the beach during that time. I'm definitely not going to want to stay there and have those big loud commercial mowers come right up to the bedroom window when I'm sleeping, even if it wouldn't be an everyday event like the loud blowers are here. I also have no reason not to believe that motorcycles and power tools wouldn't be a regular annoyance as well.

The Palm Harbor area is about 100 miles away from the termites which is comforting. Any less than that, and there's a risk of them driving to us if they found out our address. I wouldn't put it past them to “surprise” us by doing that. We're still going to do what we're going to do, though. If we find the perfect place on the Atlantic side that's near them, so be it. But the gulf side is more appealing. They would be likelier to have smaller cruise ships, and the waves would be a little tamer than on the other side.

I still do intend to get things off my chest by sharing those excerpts, and when it comes time to do that, I'll temporarily deactivate on Facebook so Sarah can't create a new account to come at me from.

Tom got a strange text from Vermont asking, “Are you Tom S?” He didn't reply, assuming it's connected to something he signed up for and they just want to sell him something. If it's really that important, they can elaborate from there.

This is kind of weird, though I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with me. Maybe someone they knew found their account. There was a new account, Aloha, on PB and we hit it off right away, exchanging comments and all that. Pretty sure they were in Reno. I recently noticed they deleted their account but I'm still seeing Reno on my visitor list, so they must have created a new account. Why haven’t they contacted me, though?

I’ve only heard two planes since I've been up, so they're not up to maximum annoyance yet.

We hope to fly out of here first class but that will only be if it wouldn't impact our plans for when we got to Florida. I was laughing with Tom earlier thinking how different of an exit that would be compared to how we came in. We came into the state in a dumpy old truck, so to leave first class would be quite a step up.

When I finally fell back to sleep after puking, it was off to another popular negative dream theme for me and that's the stolen purse dream. I didn't know Tom in the dream. I lived in a huge building. Not sure if it was some kind of apartment building or hotel but my mother, who seemed to be around 50, worked in the building as a housekeeper.

I went to watch a movie in a community lounge with three other people that were in their 20s or so. There was a closet with an open door just off of it where you could put your coat and purse. Bored with the movie, I got up and grabbed something be it a sweater or something else, and then looked down at a royal blue purse of mine that sat inside a larger bag. I thought of taking it with me but then decided it would be okay since I would be back soon. So I took off even though I thought better of it and had a bad feeling. The more that feeling came over me, I decided to head back to the now-empty lounge and found someone had stolen the purse.

Then I ran and found my “mother” and told her that while they didn't get any cash, my license, passport and credit card had been in the bag. I began to panic and feel overwhelmed when I thought of all I would have to do to try to stop the person from ripping me off and maybe even stealing my identity all because I was too lazy to take the damn purse with me.

It took a year and a half, but I finally had a weak moment and messaged Christiane. Or Lisette or whatever her real name is. She doesn't appear to have read my message which is a little surprising because her last check-in appears to be a day ago. I don't know what's going on in her life so I can't say if she just hasn't checked her messages, or if she read it, marked it as unread, and plans to blow me off. Right now my feeling is that she's blowing me off because I didn't just ask about her. I asked about Nane as well. Time will tell!

I’m bad, LOL, cuz I also messaged sexy doc as if we were having a live chat. Plus, I created “nicknames” which you can now do and which both sides see. So she’s Sexy Doc and I’m Gulf Girl, haha.

It was nice to find that OD now allows free members. I just can't code my entries for tracking because they don't allow links for free members but that's okay. It's not really necessary there. What I love about it is that I can choose to have entries expire in 24 hours or a week. I decided to go with a week. That way I can drop my thoughts on the world and feel like I can be more open in a place that Aly doesn't use as far as I know, and the posts don’t have as much time to be discovered with them expiring. I've disabled comments because I may get a little more controversial there.

9/2/2020 Wednesday 9:15 p.m.

We went to the store earlier and I got some wine and Jelly Bellies. On our way out was when I realized that the park isn't quite as gated as I thought. I'm surprised it took me this long to realize this but when I thought of how some people mentioned homeless people coming in through the creek, I saw that the fence didn’t run across the creek and connect to the fences running alongside the backyards of the properties on the other side that aren’t part of the park. So technically, anyone could walk into the park if you went through that small section which would also explain how the occasional stray dog can wander in like that German Shepherd I saw a few times. This is a pretty good area in general, though, so I doubt many homeless people even know about that one little gap in the fence let alone hang out in that area very often. It's pretty out of the way and not something you would easily come across.

It's something I'll definitely keep an eye on if I'm out walking in the middle of the night, but the skunks have pretty much put a damper on that. Besides, as much as I love walking around the park, I do have to get used to indoor walking because I can't see myself taking walks regularly in Florida due to the humidity, and the alligators there are even more reasons not to go out at night since gated or not, those things are nocturnal. They don't seem to have as many gated communities in Florida from what we can tell, at least not when it comes to adult communities. In Florida, I would be swimming and bike riding more than I would be walking or jogging.

Tom says he hasn't heard any sawing and I wonder if it's because the sawing occurred when he had the headphones on or if the fucking cock across the street is just waiting until I'm on days again. If there really is a noise curse aimed at me, then I guess he would be quiet for a few more days.

We've got another triple-digit heatwave coming up, but that doesn't stop the bastard. He jumps out, cuts what he wants, then jumps back indoors. And back and forth and back and forth.

I had this weird dream where we lived right by a river. The place sort of extended over the river. It didn't look like Florida at all. We jumped in the car and drove on this freeway that kind of curved above and around the area which looked very industrialized. There was a little dock across from our place and as we drove alongside the river and against the current, I realize that the water that passed our place traveled quite a ways before it got to us.

Then I had an even stranger dream where I literally lost part of my outer upper arm and shoulder bone. Only the end of the arm bone didn’t bulk out like in reality. Instead, it just made a gentle curve toward my shoulder. It was about 5 inches long and was brownish-black and I wondered if I now weighed less as I curiously inspected the bone.

9/3/2020 Thursday 9:41 p.m.

WTF? 56? Fitbit says my heart dipped to 56 somewhere between 9:40-9:45 last night. I'm guessing it was Fitbit and not me because I read that others have experienced sudden spikes and drops as well. If it happened regularly that I might worry.

If we move to one of those towns he was last investigating, we would be just 35 miles from Norma. I would love to visit her and I know he’d like her very much, but I don't know that I could trust her to keep our location a secret even though the termites might still be smart enough to figure it out if they really wanted to if someone didn't tell them how to find us first. Norma wouldn't give them our address, of course, and there would be no reason to give it to Norma, but she might mention the town. Being 100 miles away from the termites is better than a few miles but still, 100 miles is a hell of a lot closer than nearly 3,000 miles, so I don't know. We'll just have to wait and see where we end up first since there are no guarantees yet that we’ll really move there.

The only other thing that might make me uncomfortable about visiting Norma is that she would likely bring the termites up. What am I supposed to say to that? That I know she can't see it and that she likely wouldn't have reason to because they have a totally different type of relationship than we ever had but the bitches really are batshit crazy and God help her if she does cross them?

Since they didn't have his favorite soda the last couple of times we ordered groceries, he's been drinking water like crazy. In just two days he’s noticed his skin is much softer and doesn't look as wrinkly. I'll try this sometime and see if it makes a difference although my sparkling water is water and I do use lotion. I don't mind looking older so much since that's a fact of life but if it would make my skin softer and more comfortable, why not?

In looking at my calorie intake over the days I’ve logged them, I’ve learned that I don’t quite eat as much as I thought just like I don’t sleep as much as I thought. I thought I had an average of 1500-1600 calories a day but it’s actually 1300-1400, an amount that almost anybody would lose on and that further proves I’d have to go down to an unhealthy and unsustainable 1000 calories to lose. Again, no thanks.

It's going to be really hot Sunday and they’re talking about maybe hitting 110 degrees!

Noticed that Christiane read my message yesterday, but I haven't gotten a reply. She could just be busy. If a week passes with nothing, then yeah, she's ignoring me, and she'll definitely never hear from me again.

If I hear from Marie, then that will make me think my New Yorker is her. That's part of why I mentioned wondering if I would hear from her, as a little test of sorts.

Right or wrong, childish or not, all the free time I have and the boredom I often experience have given me plenty of opportunities to play with Alyssa, LOL. I “chat” with her as if she's chatting back. I claimed her messages keep disappearing too.

I started to think that my old dentist, Shannan and Holly being suggested to me was indeed because they read my messages to them and the fact that Alyssa is never suggested to me means she's not reading my messages. But then that wouldn't explain why Dr. A and her nurse have been suggested to me. I've never messaged either one of them.

I keep going back and forth in my mind whether or not I want to set my OD entries to expire in 24 hours or one week. I guess it depends on what I'm talking about. Since I mention Norma and the termites in this entry, I guess I'll have this one expire in 24 hours.

Argh, that's the second time that saw cock has haunted me in my dreams! The first time, I heard its shit the very next day. Tom swears he didn't hear him today, didn't spend much time under the headphones, and was even outside as he has been most days.

First I dreamed of being at the beach somewhere and going down these little cement steps that lead to the shore. After I swam a bit in the ocean, I showered. Then I went back down the stairs to head somewhere else when I noticed that the bottom stair was covered in water because the tide was coming in. I hated to get my feet all wet and sandy again but saw no other choice.

Then there was something about a pet rat and my parents. It was as if even they thought it was cute the way it was so playful.

The saw dream was more than just a few seconds. The homes and yards were totally different. We had a backyard half as big as the yard we had in Phoenix and we might have had two floors. It was getting dark when the damn saw started up and it wasn't only for a few seconds here and a few seconds there. It was a continuous and highly annoying whine instead. I ran out into our backyard where Tom was towards the back corner of it which sort of wrapped around a hedge of some kind.

“He’s at it again and it's almost 7 p.m.!” I complained. He headed toward me and was talking and since I knew he was hard of hearing I said, “Shhh!” so he could hear it.

“I've had enough. I'm not going to listen to this for another 7 or 8 months. I'm going to find out why he does this so often.”

So I cut through our place and as I was pushing the front screen door open which faced his place, I noticed he embossed his name and occupation on a plastic strip sticker he stuck to the inside of the handle of the screen door in hopes of getting more work. The name might have said Michael K, and he listed his occupation as a mechanic. In reality, I’m sure he’s just your garden variety contractor.

I went out the front door with it in mind to ask why there was so much sawing over there and if he was prepping to sell the place or something and hopefully drop enough hints without having to spell it out that it's quite loud in our place and not just frequent.

Instead of having a carport, he had a double-car garage which he sat inside. He looked younger, though, and a woman, also younger with long light brown hair, came up behind him and they kissed.

A split second later, there were a few other people chatting with him and I realized it wouldn't be a good time to question him since it didn't involve the others and there was still the virus to consider.

9/5/2020 Saturday 12:38 a.m.

The nails came a day early and are quite lovely. I started with a lavender-aqua set. The lavender part looks a little more like mauve in the pictures I took but they still came out great! They're a little thicker like the other sparkly gradients so they would be best applied when I plan on cutting my nails. My nails will grow very long if I let them but they're a real pain in the ass to deal with when they're long so I'm probably going to cut them every other week.

These fit well but have a plastic smell to them. I'm sure that will go away soon enough, though.

Overall my nails are looking much healthier, so I saw when I removed the last set of nail strips. However, while much of the discoloration in the thumbs is growing out, I did notice some dark spots by the tips of the nails, so as I suspected, the discoloration isn't all from nail polish and remover. The lifting looks better as well but I love doing my nails so much that I would do them until they fell off since I hate going with bare nails, LOL. I even hate my toenails to be bare.

Decided I could let some entries never expire on OD. If I'm doing nothing but talking about nails, then who cares, right?

9/6/2020 Sunday 12:02 a.m.

I hope that one year from now when I'm looking back at the On This Day section of PB, I can smile and know that the planes being back in full swing is no longer a reality for me but just a memory. Well, they're not quite in full swing yet but they're getting there. It's still quiet at night, but yesterday morning, I heard 6 of them from 6:08 a.m. to 7:12 a.m. and at just a couple of thousand feet up, I call that excessive. I turned on the fan to drown out some of the sound after an hour, but I know there were more of them.

Again I wonder if I just keep happening to get the extremes or if the degree of noise I hear is actually normal even if it may be from different sources in different places. I mean, I'm not the only one in Citrus Heights. Thousands of others are hearing the same planes I hear. Those in the mainstream are hearing barking round-the-clock and I'm not. They're also hearing more car stereos. I’m not attached to anyone, so I don’t hear their footsteps or TVs. So I'm not sure what to think. It seems noise is everywhere, but I am determined to cut back the traffic and planes when we move. I'll still hear some loud traffic, just not so close to the house. Power tools will probably always be a nuisance no matter where we go because they're so common now. The freeway will also be history in the next place.

I hate this time of year. We still have a couple of more months of good weather, but there’s rarely a moment of silence day or night. At 2 in the morning, even if I'm not hearing planes, landscaping or power tools, I'm still hearing the freeway. By the time it fades out again we should be gone. It's definitely a time of year thing and not a temperature thing because it was over 100 degrees yesterday and is going to be 111 degrees today.

I just hope to hell nothing delays the move! I thought about it and asked myself what could realistically delay it and the only thing I can really think of is if one of us had a serious illness or injury. If there is anything cursing me with noise, though, it's not going to make it easy for us to get out of here since I know we can get a quieter place because we've had them before. Not every place is 1100 feet from a freeway, in a flight path, or has a busy street wrapping closely around three sides of them.

I doubt it, but I sure hope the “leaky” dream I had doesn't mean anything. I dreamed that the rainy season was just beginning, and it was leaking by both the front and back doors. I was worried because most of the rain had yet to come and I was worried we would be forced to pay for a new roof before we could get out of here.

Had another dream where I was wandering around homeless but at least I was in Hawaii while I was at it. Someone handed me a package and it turned out to be a pair of sunglasses and a watch from my parents. I then shed tears of mixed emotions where they were concerned.

One of my nails fell off. First time that happened this long after applying them. Was able to put it back on and enforce it with a top coat.

I was glad to find that not every single set in the second to last set of nail strips is transparent after all. There are about 5 that aren’t.

I was kind of pissed that Lifetime removed one of the movies I was watching before I could finish it. I was watching Your Baby is Mine. Then again, I know exactly how it would have ended. The crazy woman would have attempted to abduct and kill the mother who would have killed or maimed the crazy lady. Then, while the crazy lady, if still alive, was carted off to jail or the funny farm, Mommy, Daddy and baby would go on to live happily ever after.

While I still love their movies, the predictable endings and a few old-fashioned stereotypes are the only things I don't care for. There's always a black person in each movie, of course, but there are rarely any gays or lesbians.

Also, in a day and age when most parents are single, why are they always married if they aren’t divorced or widowed in their movies?

Lastly. It bugs me how women are portrayed as weaker than men with almost all of the men winning the violent fights. Then again, there have been a few good kick-ass scenes where women have beaten the shit out of men. Still, whether we want to admit it or not, there really is a grain of truth to most stereotypes. Women were taught to be “ladylike” and not violent or to fight back 50 years ago and most of those with kids were married then too.

But when is Lifetime going to get with the times and bring their characters more up-to-date?

I managed to write one lousy paragraph of my story last night. I really think I'm beyond the point of ever getting my creative juices back again. I skimmed the first few pages I had and decided I had too many missing articles which is basically lazy writing. So I edited more than I created.

Damn, I miss my old hormones! You don't realize how many things working hormones influence until they no longer work. I wonder if it will be worse for Aly when she gets to this point since she does erotica whereas I just do suspense. But even my suspense is usually influenced by some hottie I turn into a character where there’s a degree of romance and it's all driven by those hormones that are now dead as are many other things.

I'm bored so much more often than I ever used to be. God's got to kill me somewhat young because I don't know that I can do this for another 25 years. Funny-sounding or not, fantasy takes time. Without it, I'm left with just the basics and there are only so many hours I can spend doing those things. Yet I can't remember the last time I had a crush on someone, and I wonder if I ever will again no matter how attractive they may be, not that I’m in a position to meet many new people. Plus, with my shitty vision, I can’t even fucking see them well even with glasses. Glasses help but can never really replace good vision.

Last plane went by at 12:40, so that will be it till either 5:40 or just after 6. Wow! Five hours off from them.

9/7/2020 Monday 1:49 a.m.

When I woke up and saw the papers sitting on the counter, I knew immediately that it was connected to the park and thought how I was going to call them up and demand they never contact us again unless it's something they send everyone, but then I realized it wasn't some bullshit complaint from them but from a resident that’s starting a new form of neighborhood watch. They're pissed that the park won't hire any kind of guard or rolling patrol, so they want to get the residents to log any suspicious activity to help make the park safer. They claim they'll keep things confidential, but I wouldn't trust our info if we had anything to report, to be kept from the park. God help this couple as it is because once the park gets wind of what they're doing, the park is going to complain on them like crazy about all kinds of frivolous and fictitious things. Well, I don't just dislike the mentally ill and the chronic liar. Try the overly sensitive/emotional as well. You complain to the park and it's like they take it personally and feel compelled to counter-complain, though I still think Joy was a friend of Melody’s.

I can't believe how long it's been since we've heard that damn car too, not that there aren't other annoyances. There's always someone that comes along to make up for whoever was last annoying as hell. Like Dahl and his fucking saw. Haven't heard it in about a week but I'm sure I will this week. Contractors/construction workers are the worst neighbors to have besides the welfare bums.

I was really hoping the planes would wait till after 6 to start their shit, but nope, first plane flew over at 5:40 yesterday morning. So 12:40 a.m. to 5:40 a.m. will be the only hours I don't hear them until we get the fuck out of here.

Blogger has finally forced its new and unwanted interface on me. At least on one of my blogs anyway. I have about 10 blogs there, but rarely use most of them.

I also noticed some changes on MD and one thing I don't like is that I can't highlight and overwrite things in past entries. I wish people could just leave things alone! It's change that leads to problems. Maybe if I deleted the entry before replacing it, it would work. I’ll check it out later.

I ignore most of it as I know people have a right to their opinions and beliefs. However, I'm getting sick of this “hate for whites” trend and the unfair portrayal of them that suggests whites always shit on blacks who are always innocent. It’s insulting to whites and some of us have had enough. People forget that most whites accept blacks and not all blacks are saints.

I don’t follow Norma much because her posts are so negative, bashing whites and putting blacks on pedestals. Sometimes I think of unfriending her because of it and because it would be one less connection to the termite, but that would be mean, and she would worry about me. Besides, how many more years could she possibly have left at 88 or 89? Or maybe she's turning 90 tomorrow? I don't know the exact age but she's definitely over 86.

Tom gave me a great idea yesterday, though I haven't acted on it yet. A couple of days ago, I was bitching about how I only managed to crank out one paragraph of my story since my writer's block has been so bad. Then yesterday I got bored and was saying that I had a few more hours left to try to figure out what to do with myself since I'd already done all the things I usually do during my day, and he said to write another paragraph. That's when I got the idea to just do a paragraph here and a paragraph there like maybe one every hour or two. Maybe this will help get me going with it.

Tom is hoping to work in an Amazon warehouse within a month or so where he can keep active and get lots of steps. That's what he's hoping for anyway, and to do seasonal work and maybe even transfer to a warehouse in Florida when we move. They don't pay much, especially for being in Cali, but it would be adequate enough. He said that as long as I'm still feeling good, he may work until we put the house on the market since most of the time-consuming prep work is now done. The only other thing we have left that will be a bit of work is laying down the rocks alongside the carport. However, he's not about to wrestle what would literally be tons of rocks in 111-degree temps. He wants to wait until it gets down in the 80s for that.

The rest of the work is indoors but some of it can't be done until it gets close. This will consist of going through stuff and deciding what's going and what's not. Plus I'm going to use the heat gun to remove the wall stickers. Some of them anyway, and we'll be leaving the murals. Gotta really scrub the appliances down too. I still think that due to its age and needing so much upgrading that it's going to end up with a flipper who will pretty much gut the place from top to bottom.

I just hope to hell Virginia stays put! I know we would happen to get someone with a loud vehicle or that was power tool-happy if she moved.

Amazon’s hiring in Vacaville for $18 an hour and giving a $500 bonus for those willing to come in at 2:30 a.m. He would take the job except that it's an hour's drive which would call for a really long day if he had to spend a couple of hours total on the road. That's a bit long for him even if he didn't hate driving.

9/8/2020 Tuesday 2:41 a.m.

It's going to be over 10 degrees cooler today making it up to 95. I'm sure the bastard will jump out any morning now to play with his saw while it's still pleasant. It doesn't really heat up until late in the morning or early afternoon depending on how high the temp is expected to climb. I would still take the damn saw over the car since I always have to have something here as the car was much louder and would drive by multiple times a day every single day often waking me up. The saw isn’t every day, as loud, and it doesn't get close to the bedroom, so the sound machines can drown it out.

No more putting up with end-of-the-day boredom. When I realize I still have three or four hours before I'm ready to start reading myself to sleep yet I'm done with everything I need to do, I'm going to hit the skier. As long as I don't go too fast, that wouldn't be overdoing it or harm my joints, especially since there's no impact. It's just a little tough on the feet.

Aly says on her not-so-secret account that she’s tired of having to explain that BLM members aren't saying that only their lives matter and if you don't understand this then you’re part of the problem.

I know damn well that was in regard to an RT of mine.

She asked if I decided against doing videoless tweets or if I was doing them on my private account. I told her I did some on my private account and found it a pain in the ass to have to delete the vids off my phone so they wouldn't take up too much space and thought it looked funny with just a black video or my desktop wallpaper showing, and would rather wait and see if Androids will one day have the new voice note feature. I doubt they will, though. Either way, what I told her was mostly true. It wasn't on my private account but everything else was true that I told her. Unless I get incredibly bored or I really want to rant about something, I don't see myself making a regular habit of doing vid tweets.

Okay, I’m mean but I couldn't help referring to my private account to her as Lady Rainbow when in fact it's a random name she would never think to look for. She no doubt went looking for what she couldn't find so she could block it from her “secret” account, LOL.

I just hope she doesn't find my OD account. But hey, she can mention me openly even though she doesn't use my name and I can do the same. Still, she’s part of why I LOVE OD’s expiration option. I don’t want anyone I care about to be hurt or offended needlessly.

My poll asking if 6 planes in an hour flying over you at 2K feet was excessive or not and got two yeses. I wonder if Aly voted from both of her accounts.

My Facebook Stories have stopped getting outside views so I'm almost positive they were from Kim and Aly before they both supposedly deactivated there.

9/9/2020 Wednesday 5:38 a.m.

My real email address is plugged into my private Twitter account. If Aly ever blocks it, I'll know that she's been looking up accounts of mine. I will also know if she spots my last OD entry before it expires because she’ll delete her “secret” Twitter account or change handles if she does. She may change handles eventually anyway.

I decided to block her on my private Twitter account as well as the one I was doing video tweets on. I can still view her tweets without unblocking her. I just don't want the accounts recommended to her even though she wouldn't necessarily know the private one was me. I don't think she's spying as much as I thought. Meaning that I don't think she's hacking accounts she knows she can get away with hacking. But she could still look for info on me through a paid search whenever the hell she happens to feel like doing so. I hate that people can pay to look up where I've signed up. Is that really any of their fucking business?

The other day I noticed that no outsiders had viewed my past two stories on Facebook and figured that the non-friend viewers had been Kim and Aly who are no longer there as far as I know. But yesterday 3 outsiders viewed my story (a rat pic) so I guess they could be anybody.

On my walk yesterday morning I found it to be a bit cloudy and a touch humid even though it was breezy and there was no smoke yet. I was a little warm when I got back since it was almost 80° at that point. I have a little fan attached to a spray bottle that I cooled myself off with, plus I kicked the AC on.

The one thing I hate about coming up Oak is that that's where most of the dog walkers tend to be and I hate to be stopped to chat about what a beautiful day it is or something like that when I'm supposed to be working out. A woman did stop me for a second to tell me I was fast since she first saw me on Astro. Well, I do run some of the way.

A couple of days ago, I felt huge and out of shape when I was out there for some reason, but yesterday I breezed through my route easily. I'm down a pound too. I'm almost always 155 or 156. There's very little fluctuation with me. Every now and then I'll drop to 154 or climb to 157.

Fortunately, the sky didn’t smell smokey when I was walking with all the horrifying and heartbreaking fires going on in the state and now even up in Oregon. By this time next year, I should have traded in fires for hurricanes. The sky became eerily brown blocking out the sun to a degree later in the afternoon as the winds picked up, and OMG, the fucking stench of skunks! Please tell me that's not going to be an issue in Florida!

I walked on, waved at a black guy who works here that was disinfecting one of the benches and soon found that Fitbit thought I climbed 4 sets of stairs today as opposed to 3 yesterday, even though I took the same route and actually climbed some hills, not stairs.

My heart went on the fritz again yesterday and I have no idea why. I was feeling warm and flustered and then it raced for a while making it up to around 115. I felt slightly anxious too, and the fact that these can be possible symptoms of heart trouble didn't help either, though as far as I know, my heart is still healthy. Could be hormonal. I swear I’ve noticed faint cramps like my body is trying to kick off a period. Most of it was after having something sugary so maybe that was part of it, and also, Tom thinks the prospect of him going back to work soon may have triggered it. Trauma. It really does scar you for life no matter how much better you may get overall. I’m not as anxious as I used to be when left alone, but I still don’t like it either.

I'm also having that groin pain as well but now that I know it's not connected to swollen lymph nodes, I'm thinking some kind of muscle, ligament or tendon. Again, I'm 54 and not 24. I can't expect to be as active as I used to be as much as I wish I could.

I also had a bit of pain in my upper left back below the neck and a little above the shoulder blade but that was likely connected to my TMJ which can move down the neck and into that part of the shoulder/back area. Back pain associated with heart problems is usually between the shoulder blades from what I read.

I feel slightly warm and anxious now and have a touch of fatigue so I may take it easy today. I don't know if I want to go out walking. Especially if it's smokey. I may just use the skier today. We are going to Safeway, though. We're going to grab some scratch tickets because I've been having a feeling about winning lately, though I don't know how much.

Some candle company based in Texas called about a Quality Control Specialist job, but they fail to realize this is California, not Texas. You can't live on the same wages here. He asked for $19 and they said they'd call back after they check to see if they were willing to go that high, but it doesn't look like they are. Also, the job would be in Auburn where we used to live and that's about a 40-minute drive.

I realize that if I keep my hair short, and I likely will since I'm sick of dealing with long hair, then I have room to move around when it comes to colors. Blondes and reds are out of the question but some of the deep dark auburn colors and even burgundy should look nice.

Wow, a Lifetime movie with a childless married couple! It's about time. Now let's have some single moms who aren't divorced or widowed and some more gays and lesbians. Just when I was bitching that it was usually the men winning the fights against women, there was one movie where a woman beat a guy to death and then another where she strangled one to death so it's nice to see a little more equality there.

Oh, and I know that most people believe that the mentally ill deserve compassion and all that and while I get their point, it's a little hard to feel compassion when so many of them cause so much trouble. Obsessive behavior, stalking, trolling, intense mood swings, lying, a lack of empathy, selfishness, laziness...how do you have compassion for that?

Because I feel slightly wound up I should probably go do the EFT exercises that I haven't done in a while and try not to dwell on the three possibilities that could, however unlikely it may be, delay the move. That would be one of us getting sick, one of us getting injured, or him being offered a job with an insane amount of money. We like money the same as anyone else but would still like to move as planned. No one’s ever paid him an insane amount of money yet, though, so I don’t see why they’d start now unless something’s more determined than even I realize to keep me in a noisy place.

We were checking out homes on peninsulas on the outer side of the Tampa Bay and OMG, that area is so damn gorgeous that living with noise, as long as I could sleep, would actually be worth it! I would just love to be a peninsula girl. It's funny as I was running around like a little kid chanting to Tom, “I want to be a peninsula girl!” We checked out this awesome beach that's basically a peninsula of its own that I would love to be able to visit whenever.

We saw this house (a regular house built on a slab foundation like what we had in Phoenix) for 90k but it was in the mainstream and I'm sure it would be quite noisy. It was still neat to see a house go for what goes for a quarter-million here. But the loud vehicles and old men wielding circular saws are enough. I don't want to add partying college kids, screaming kids, welfare bums, barking dogs, and boom car stereos to the mix. So unless it's on the end of the peninsula, which we're pretty much guaranteed never to be able to afford, it's best to start off in an adult park and then get land in central Florida if I can stand the climate or land in another state. It's easier to get out of a park than to get out of land since there’s more demand for parks, especially senior parks in Florida. So that's why we're going to start there. But it's almost certainly going to be just an ordinary house with an ordinary view. I'd love to have a water view be it a lake or the ocean, but I just don't see that happening. And again, it would only be for a few months. I'm pretty much all or nothing in that if we can’t afford something spectacular on a peninsula where all ages are likely to reside, then I would rather return to country living. It isn't just about getting peace when I'm awake, but I need to sleep. I can't be woken up constantly when I'm on nights like I almost certainly would in a park. Of course, I still don't know how often the storms are going to wake me up but that's what we're going to find out. With many of the parks, the mowers go right up to the houses, and of course you would have dog walkers milling about with barking that might wake me up. Worse would be a carport running alongside the place with a loud vehicle of some kind. I think we could improve on the general traffic and planes, but we're not going to get away from the projects and power tools. They're just too widespread these days. You don't need to rent circular saws anymore. Anyone can walk into a store and grab one for 50 bucks or less. Like I said, no way I'm putting up with it for the rest of my life. I'm not going to be a peninsula girl, but you can bet I'm going to be a country girl again!

It was interesting that you can not only look up the racial breakdown of a particular town but a particular block as well. I don't know how they know this or that I’d trust it since people do move. I just don't want to give history a chance to repeat itself where a different race makes trouble for us, has a friend on the police force, and every single fucking lie they tell is automatically believed as it is in most of a country. So what if you may be vindicated in the end because enough complaints were finally filed against the pig when it's already six months, thousands of dollars, and a whole shitload of anguish too late.

There’s this site that thinks our place is worth around $120K - $130K. We’ve seen dumps in dumpier parks go for around $80K, but I doubt we’ll pocket much more than $30K - $60K after all the fees are paid out in the end.

Took a little break to get some stuff at Safeway…wine, snacks and tickets. The two scratch tickets won us a lousy $4. Annie’s original snack mix is boring but an okay snack. I’d give Sutter Home’s White Zinfandel a 7.5. I’ll try their Sauvignon Blanc and Pinot Grigio later.

At least I’m feeling calm now and didn’t need to do EFT or take Ibuprofen for my back pain since they both went away on their own.

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