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In case you get nostalgic and start missing your ex, do this 😎
Oh man!! Reading a few posts here and seeing a lot of sad breakups, or missing their significant or ex significant other half. Not sure why but now I'm compelled to post to you folks what I do to clear my mind and move forward instead of these patchy at best past memories. Remember, as time goes on, the "Fading affect bias" will kick in. Meaning only the nice things will be remembered and the bad stuff is forgotten. As time goes on, it get's worse. You forget more of the band and you remember more of the good. Don't ask me how come it's like this. I just read about it awhile back simply for my understanding and my self improvement but with this info, you become a stronger person.
So what do I do? I have this list of things I didn't like about my ex gfs. I have one each for the last two. It's a short list of things I didn't like about my ex. Sounds a little like bitching and the sour grapes thing but it's been suggested by some fancy-smancy shrink and it does work. Situation right now in this world is not ideal. Here in CA, there are fires which causes the air quality to be so bad.Record heat and supposedly summer is over. Covid and how it's choking social activities, and let's not forget about that little thing I just had which is major surgery.
Well, I had to use that list this past day or so. Not in the most social situation so I'm human (still lol) and can get bummed out too. Fading affect bias kicks in and nice memories of the past pops up. So I look in my google drive and there it is. My "Ugly list". I go down the list and I admit I forgot some of the stuff I wrote in them but reading the list made me feel so much better and breathed a sigh of relief after reading it. Thank goodness I'm not in that dead end relationship anymore. I wrote one for Blue Faye awhile back too. Again, I read the list and I have to snap my head back (virtually of course because I'd mess up my neck if I actually did it) and am so thankful that once again, I am where I am. So glad she's not around too. Another deep breath and sigh of relief. whew!! hahaha. I can't ever post my list. If you want to, make your own list of the ugly things about your ex and I promise you, it will kill any stupid thoughts of going back that may want to bubble up in the future. It worked like a charm for me.
Anyway, on the lighter side, my friends came over for a multi birthday dinner. I had the task of making rice so hey, pulled out the rice pressure cooker and made a batch of rice. Heidi came with the dessert and main entree. Two different meats for her Indian yellow curry stew (I think anyway) One with chicken and the other was some salmon. I grabbed both to make it a combo. For the first time in a long time, I finally ate well. This morning, I weighed 160 lbs. I know this isn't a healthy weight lost so I was a little worried. Pretty sure I took care of business tonight.
Then we had some combo cheesecake and Marnie brought some leftover birthday ice cream from her workplace today. One of my friends brought his daughter over that I haven't seen in a long time so it was nice catching up with them again. Heidi was washing dishes after we all ate and her bf had to take a picture of her washing dishes saying he never sees her doing that. hahaha. We made a plate for my Sister. She wanted to leave me in peace with my friends so she stayed in her room.Told her earlier she is more than welcomed to stay and we would have a lot of food but she said she doesn't want to change the atmosphere. Anyway, my friends left the house as clean as before they came. So cool of Heidi to be that thoughtful. Sister once again tells me how lucky I am to have so many friends supporting me this way when I'm banged up and stuck at home recovering. Anyway, time goes way too fast when I'm having fun. Three hrs went by just like that and people had to pick up their kiddos and go home. It is a work night and I forget these things since I've been home for a month now.
Earlier, my Superstar friend dropped by and hung out with me for a little bit. I didn't know she was coming today. She says I look way better now compared to the last time she visited. She gave me a get well gift. Isn't she so fricking cool? It's so cute and I see the effort in her presentation. I suck at it and I loved the gesture. She jokingly asked if I found a nice potential Christian wife yet. haha. I think I may have told her to find one for me (in jest of course) once and her bringing it up today embarrassed me. I told her I couldn't believe I told her that in the first place. Blamed the drugs I was taking. lol.
But it's still a nice hopeful wish that I sort of like and I smile about the small remote possibility fo finding one maybe one day. Doesn't have to be Christian.
Pic of my get well gift
I was able to take a quick pick of the Indian meal that Heidi cooked. Again, still a little shocked she can cook. lol
That was my day. Pretty nice day and good to recall and bring back good habits once again. I know I'm still recovering from surgery but I have to say I feel pretty good right now. A got a good dose of my friends today and this is happening under all the stuff happening here in Ca and the worldwide Covid thing. So yeah, got my little fix from my friendship basket. 🥰
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