agirl

god i love getting my feelings hurt
Ad 2:
2020-09-10 11:30:46 (UTC)

realization

up until an hour ago i thought all the manipulation and gaslighting my parents have imprinted on me has made me a stronger and more vigilant person, but it turns out that once again i am wrong. ive always thought my looks and personality are what makes me attract so much male attention but maybe its the fact that my standards are so low and every guy can see them. and i havent been cheated on or abused or anything by any guy ive been associated romantically with but the way ive been treated jesus christ. i feel like sometimes guys just want to be with me because they want an object to show off or because im a virgin. or the fact that i really dont expect much from a person. i dont know you can ask any boy that claims like me what my favorite color is or my favorite food is and they wouldnt know the answer to it. Its like they make this delusion, this other person in my body and then get mad at me for not meeting the standards of this made up girl. im just tired you know. im tired of trying to play this role and pretending im not a complicated person to please others. because in reality i am. im damaged goods i have issues and im so sick or acting like i dont carry a heavy burden. i talk and give advice about self worth and loving yourself when i cant even be myself around others without thinking they wont like me for who i am. my favorite color is brown and i love smoked salmon and its sad how ill keep making up different personalities because im not interesting enough when i act like myself


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