Esmeralda_Bramble

Like a Moth to a Flame
2020-09-08 12:56:56 (UTC)

Acid Reflux

Been having acid reflux for the past 3 weeks. Likely I've been eating too much, but even if I'm not I can still feel it. For me, it manifests as a cough. Whatever acid gets released, tickles my throat and sends me to a coughing spree. Pre-COVID, it sounds scary, people who hear me cough thinks I'm dying, but these days, it's embarrassing to have a coughing spree at the grocery store or on the bus. You get nasty looks and you may be viewed as a super spreader.

I guess this acid reflux is just a way for my body to tell me that I need to lose weight, it can't take being obese anymore. So I've been trying to eat small, try to exercise, but today's bombs were just too much to take. My stomach is getting acidic, I can taste the sourness rise up my throat, but I don't think it's my regular acid reflux. I think this is another way my anxiety is kicking in. Perhaps other manifestations of my anxiety (e.g. chest constriction, heart attack feeling, etc.) have been subdued by my meds and new symptoms are manifesting. Multiple people have tendered their resignation this week. One of them is the most loyal to the owners, this doesn't bode well. Something is really wrong and it should not be ignored anymore. Sigh, I really need to look for a new job. I do not know how long our company will last, it's a sinking ship. I'm scared, defeated, overwhelmed, and very confused. I'm just in shambles at the moment. Failure one after another, in all aspects of my life. I want to cry but my stomach is really hurting from the acid. I know things will get better, but right now, I just want to throw-up, poop, fling my poop at people, and cry. I don't want this feeling. I know it will get better, somehow.




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