Live my life♥

Very lonely and lost

Just don't feel like doing anything. I feel no fun in anything. No excitement at all.
Probably am feeling lonely and also i feel, lost. Am in my 30 and I have lost everything, I hold nothing except regrets and blaming how bad my luck is. J have to start from scratch where people are settled financially, family wise, investment, kids, love life everything. But I have nothing. But, am sure I'll soon have everything I deserve. After long time I felt like crying for no reason. I LONG FOR LOVE... for love life not sexual but that emotional attachment, caring which comes from within for someone and which is very pure, unreal and magiky... I want that feeling... Also I want financial stability. I'll never crib in life if I have a stable job, a healthy love life and a happy family.
I want to cry out loud and feel pity for self and throw out, think think thinkkkk what and when will everything be ok.
Also, lm sad as I have received disappointment from everywhere sunny is at NY for vacation and haven't buzz me from there thatnkinda disappointed me because he committed to call me he dint, he told me I can msg you but he didn't am sure he did for some purpose. I can not be angry on him as he is not my bf or love he is just a prospect. Also I dnt ant to go after and make him feel that am after him for what he is job wise n so so.. Sandeep on other hand is talking casual I tried to take him out of his shell as he is I tro but doesn't seem to be working out. We talk causual just like acquaintance.
Had received job calls but no update on my CV yet. Nor am I gonna follow up. I have stopped chasing... I surely try but will not run after them if they meant to be they will be mine...
I hope soon things will be fine.