Lullaby of Woe

Diary of the lost
Ad 2:
2020-09-03 17:26:31 (UTC)

Spoiled brat

Whenever I think about going back to my office job, I'm overwhelmed with panic and anxiety. I tried to do my own thing, tried to sell the things I made but no luck. I don't want to go back. I don't want to do that shit again. I can't. I know it makes me seem like a spoiled bitch, but to me, my fear is real. I know I still need to work to fund my dreams but fuck I don't know if I could keep pretending that long. I don't know if I would be able to keep a fake smile to my face for years until I finally get what I want or grow numb from the depression.

I don't have a lot of things that I'm good at. I know how to bake, make crafts, sing, write, but none good enough to make a career out of. I'm not smart or creative. I'm not confident or outgoing. I don't do well under pressure and I cry very easily. What the fuck do I do?