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2020-09-07 03:12:51 (UTC)

i was a shit friend

4:22 am
the reason why its not good to stay up so late alone is because its easier to wander off into your thoughts. its easier to text people that arent a part of your life anymore. i just sent a message to cray. i havent spoken to him since february and i hate myself so fucking much right now. i just am so upset about how much of a shitty person i used to be and the sad part is that sometimes i want to go back.

im so upset about the fact that i probably hurt my ex friend. i hate myself.

reed is also asleep and he said he would wake up if i spam called him. my life genuinely feels like a mess and i feel like i cant sleep. i hate being awake like this. i wish i wasnt me sometimes.

i feel fucking terrible right now.sometimes i wonder why i got so close to people when i feel like either i end up hurting them or i end up getting hurt.

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