šŸƒAmanda22Janeā¤

Ghost Writer
2020-09-04 21:35:49 (UTC)

About Yesterday. (Friday.)

Woke up early. I can't remember what time it was but it was early. On the break of dawn is all I can say. I love watching the light break through the darkness at that time of the day. There's this beautiful feeling that I love too that goes with every 24 hour renewal. Dawn is the key that unlocks each new day. Likewise dusk is the key that locks down the night.
Dusk and dawn are my favourite times of each day. I usually miss day break so I'm going to try and be awake to see more of them. I feel that it's a very spiritual experience. One that happens often enough for constant rejuvenation of the soul. Dusk and dawn are very powerful spiritual reminders for me.

After I got my head together, (this is an ongoing miracle), I attended to the cats. Sometimes they beat me to the kitchen. At least my little princess Dekkie does. She leaps up on the bench then onto the fridge and sits by her empty plates to wait. She is so humble and trusting around food. That I am there to provide food for her. And woe betide me if those meals are not up to her exacting high standards.
I have not gotten into the habit of regularly washing the cat dishes between their meals. It usually gets done before I feed them and once again they are 50 percent patient or 50 percent not patient. I make things harder on myself really. It's best to clean up cat related things between meals. It would save me a lot of stress.

Next, I had a quick but fairly thorough wash and re-did my mascara as I was too exhausted to remove it after my meeting.
I also did a simple facial with my wash.
Then I got dressed in nice clothes not scruffy home clothes and went to the supermarket to buy food for myself. I usually do the catfood shopping on the Wednesday of every week. It's a big shop for them and then another one for me, so I can't bring (walk and carry) both loads of shopping home all at once. I now spread it over two days. It's working out fine so far.

I'm gradually working my way through a sober program of being amicable with some of the male bastards who live in this village where we've angrily collided before. It works. I can't stand meddling gossiping idiots. I'm not better than other humans so I'm learning to fit in. One male gave me a beautiful recovery book to read. I'm very thankful for that. It made my day.

Then I had breakfast. I really enjoyed my breakfast. It was very delicious.

I did some knitting too. Not quite enough to make a working difference to the garment but I am trying. Easing my way back into a good homemaking work routine. It's fucken hard okay?? I'm not an incredibly house proud person. A home to me is where the rain and wind etc, doesn't get you. I'm trying. (Just not very much.)

I'm far more expert at cleaning homes, (mostly other people's homes) than beautifying them. I'm capable of doing all of this but I have fibromyalgia. I would love to have a beautifully presented home to live in every day instead, I have a pile of stacked boxes, unfolded clean laundry, bags and even more boxes of art supplies and craft supplies. I don't know what it would take to turn this thing around again.
I only tidy completely when I am expecting my family for an overnight visit.

I texted my sister but I haven't heard back. Just to wish her a good weekend and let her know that I care. She lives in Auckland, New Zealand and they have recently moved to Alert Level 2~point~5.
I get worried when she doesn't reply. She's usually pretty good with replies.

We won't go there with the daughter. Her life has changed considerably for her betterment and her family of four children and a husband. I think her husband still has his job. He might have two jobs for all I know and I don't know much.

Then I had a big sleep after hanging out online until I was so sleepy I couldn't stay awake. 16:00~20:00 I slept. Woke up quickly and moved my ass to the kitchen whilst apologizing profusely to my animals for their late supper. They were wonderful about it this time. It's really not a pleasant experience when two angry cat faces are growling at me because I'm not fast enough.

A late dinner. Ate at 22:00. Was going to make my bed again as it was pretty messed up and thought Fuck It, I'm not going to do that. Online again watching my favourite YouTube subscriptions until once again I became so sleepy I couldn't watch YouTube anymore.
Asleep at 00:28 a.m.

It's good to be able to sleep naturally. I'm medication~free except for my heart meds and paracetamol. No more psychiatric meds for me.




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