Experienced Life
2020-09-02 21:39:55 (UTC)

Turning invisible again 😤

Yup, it's happening again. I know this feeling all too well. The last time someone was nice to me was when I left he hospital. I left and got dressed. Long sleeve shirt made me look fitter than I actually am. All she said to me was "mmmm mmm". She was just the lady emptying out the hazardous material box. I guess the needles and gloves and stuff. That was it.

Now I go to the store with my Sister, I walk like a 70 yr old or older. Don't know what the hell happened but I lost all kinds of mobility. I'm using a cane to get around and I have to stop from time-to-time to rest in the grocery store. I knew this would happen and it's happening. I'm turning invisible again. People are rude but they just ignore you because they just aren't comfortable with how a lame ass guy can only walk 1/2 mile a hr with a can no less.

Had some technical issues I had to resolve with my prescriptions and while I tried so hard to avoid this before I was operated on, it reared it's ugly head and I had to deal with it while I was under prescriptions drugs and in pain. Then of course, my SDI was messed up too so I wasn't getting any. Finally, just today, after starting from Aug 13th, and only being resolved today Sept 2nd. Lucky I have so funds to cover my bills but these are issues I made sure I set up with my HR to make sure this shit don't happen while Im messed up.

Finally, its all good now. Or at least I think it is. In the meantime, I haven't worked out so depression has set it. I've said this before, most derpressed people probably don't work out. I think my theory is true. Look at how I'm already falling apart after what? 3 weeks? And this turing invisible thing in public fricking sucks.

My other Sister is here now and of course I not in the mood for stupid family drama and end up just biting her head off when we discuss home matters. I will try to walk around the block again tomorrow morning and see how that goes.

I really need to heal and get my ass back into crossfit. This isn't me. I'm not one of these guys whining about life not being fair but not doing anything to change it. Not me. No way. Just hard when you feel like someone just gave you a roundhouse kick in your back.

Still week. I'm at 35% strength. Thats all I got for now unless someone wants to send me one pick me up picks. haha.

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