Emily

Day In the Life of an American Teen
2020-09-01 17:54:57 (UTC)

Sick

I wonder why I feel sick, and then I remember I forgot to eat all day but at least it doesn't really feel like hunger so I don't have to eat anything.

I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be alive. Rachel went to work and she asked me to help the boys finish their schoolwork. I told Nathan to watch the video and take the quiz on it. When I came back, he was on his Switch and he said he finished. He lied so then I had to sit there and watch him take it.

"Well, at least I'm not doing vapes and cigarettes." He said.

Lol. 'Doing vapes.' It's not really that I care if they know. I don't care who knows. It's not a big deal to me. It's the fact that we began arguing and then he admitted that Rachel had told them to "keep an eye on me while she's gone and make sure I don't do my bad vaping stuff."

Like she literally fucking 'recruited' my little brothers to spy on me. You're really going to involve the 10 and 8 year old? Put that pressure on them? Totally fucked over any relationship I had with them because I haven't spoken a single word to them.

The most irritating part, which still makes me face flush when I think about it, is that Nathan went into Rachel's room and hid my phone and my controller from me. I caught him in the middle of it and took it. He said, "You're not allowed to have it give it back."

I'm sorry, are you my motherfucking dad? No? You're fucking 8? Great so shut the fuck up.

I don't know. I told them what I think. I told them that half the things they think are 'bad' are just a social construct mean't to keep them in line. "So stay in line." Landon says.
"Okay, well when you die and realize you've lived your whole life a sheep don't cry to me." I said. He didn't say anything.

I don't have a problem with them knowing, if they want I'll smoke right in front of them. I don't care. It's the recruitment for me. Like, seriously.

I can't and I don't trust anyone but I talk a lot. If I could stitch my mouth shut and keep all the thoughts inside I would.

Oh well. I mean I always thought that 8th grade would never end but looking back it went by fast. If life still sucks after I'm 18 then I'll kill myself I guess.




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