Experienced Life
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2020-08-28 19:56:42 (UTC)

Let's face it, Sister has a dark heart 🖤

Sister says the meanest things. This is the same sister that goes to Ireland and other Church events. Teaches others on how to read the bible in a way to make others listen and not jut the old Bueller type monotone voice. She has roles and responsibilities as her church she attnends. Ok, all good. Bless her heart for all that but then she says things to me like " You told me that already". Well, either sometimes I forget or sometimes she needs to hear it a few times because many times i've repeated things to her and she forgets. At first, I let it go. Then when I can't take it anymore I tell her the same thing. I myself have to repeat and say "I've told you the same thing multiple times already. Are you listening to me or what?".

She even tells me tings like "Mom went to hell. She isn't my Mom and I don't have a Mom." We'll, let's hear you repeat those words to your preacher, pastor or whatever it is they are called at a Catholici church because I'm pretty sure this isn't the kind of person they'd want in a church. Someone that is just full of hate. She acts as if she was the only one that may have been abused as a child. Well, I have a great memory and I recall both my Sister and my Mom gang up on me to give me crap. I mentioned this to her a few years ago and what does my Sister say? She says that I wa a brat or punk or whatever. Well you know what? I was only 6 offing years old. And already you were showing hate and gaining up on me? Yeah right sis.

So now, I again tell her that my pastor has said that the worse thing in life that they have seen in a person about to pass away is regret. At that point, there is no more time but the feeling regret is what they feel. I for one am not the holiest of holly dudes in the church but I listen. I want to make sure that when my time comes, I do not have that dreadful feeling of regret an that I've don't all I can to minimize that. I mean I still can't control stupid but my arms are always open to my ex's kiddos and will give them all my love should they someone come back. Buy when that time comes, I will know in my heart that I tried my best not to carry such a hateful heart or anger towards someone as I die.

So ok, we didn't get squat from my Mom passing, do I feel that she is now in hell and that she deserve's it? I don't want anyone there. Even my ex wife or blue faye, I don't wish that kind of thing with anyone. I just hope this experience and time with my Sister didn't taint my heart inside or planted a seed to be as hateful as she is. She don't even realize it but even if my Mom was intending to hurt my Sister, she is even able to do that when she has already passed away. What a shame and what a waste of life. Why bother going to church when you heart is so full and heavy with hate.

So my Sister is leaving this Sunday morning. My other Sister that is older than my current Sister is coming. My older Sister called my younger Sister a few times and is wondering whey she isn't getting through. Well, my niece call my younger Sister to call to see what's up and guess what? My younger Sister blocked my older Sister and has blocked her calls for a long time now. All my older Sister wanted to ask was what type of help I needed. Some tips on how to help me.That was all. Instead, my sister told my niece she'll figure it out when she gets here. I shake my head at all this hater. And when I say younger Sister btw, she isn't younger than me, just younger than my other Sister. We got a total of 6 brothers and Sisters. Oldest brother #1, Oldest Sister#2, Brother #3, Loving Sister #4, then me, and finally my most selfless sharing brother that is deciding on keping it al for himself. hahah.

I said this before, look at your friends around you. You will be like them. If theiy're gangbangers, you will be like them too. My Sister that has been taking care of me? yeah... I won't ever live with her should I retire one day.

Even today, my Sister keeps insisting on feeding me junk food after junk food. I repeatedly tell her that I need to eat healthy and I live a healththy lifestyle. Now since she's here, I don't want to isolate her in anyway so I share the food that my friends bring over. Not all my friends are aware or my attempts to eat healthy so yeah, we do eat some food that is sort of cheat meals. I just thought it'd be a good thing to bond with my Sister. instead, she feeds herself. Sometimes I don't even know what my friends or landlord brings because she just shoves it in the fridge and don't go and tell me "Hey look brother :) So and so brought you food". Nope, she just helps herself to it. Then when the food isn't to her liking, she says things like it's too salty and she can make better. Well WTH!!!! Cook you own dang food then. This food was supposed to be for me in the first place and not hers!!!

She leaves tomorrow Sunday. I wish her happy travels. She also wants $50K of my life insuranvr that I was going to give to the kiddos. Instead, she wants it to make her timeshare easier to manage. Well sure, lets forget the kids college money or automobile money when they go to college and let me spend it on my Sister so she can comfortably pay for her multiple time shares.

Greed, Anger, jealousy, rage, hate, and all that is something my Sister needs therapy on. I appreciate the pills she's handing to me. I do have like 7 o f them to take and various time intervals but shit!!!! I already set it up on Alexa to tell me than. All my Sister does is give me the pills Alexa is telling me to take. AS far as the $50K? She didn't specify US or Mexican dollars so she is in for a treat :)

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