why can't i for one night let this roll off my SHOUL DERS
woke up to pee. got the multi pees again tonight.
almost just bought a free throw t-shirt.
my entire emotional foundation is built on cinder blocks of lies and a fundamental lack of honesty of myself with myself because reality as i perceive it is (too uncomfortable to face). i am terrified of being around others for longer than modest in length bursts, which, when exceeded, render(ed) maintaining a marriage an exercise in incompatibility, as an example. and i couldn't be honest with my partner about it. i couldn't explain it, this fear, this lack of understanding of the neuritypical human mind. perhaps we could have worked on solutions as a tandem if i be more vulnerable and real, or... echrm *shuffling papers*
free throw t-shirt