Arisa

Mundane Daily Life
2020-08-23 01:09:41 (UTC)

Mental Disorder ?

I don't understand my sister for a quite long time. Her mood swing is. . honestly a bit tiring me out. She would barging into my space, ask me a favor relentlessly until I say yes. When I declined, she would not talk to me, rushing out of my room after saying some hurtful things.
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"I hate you" , "stupid" , "useless" , "good for nothing"
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I should be getting used to it, but it still hurts all the time when she degrade me as she wish. I have no idea if she mean it or not, probably is, but who knows what going on inside her head really.
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I thought nothing much of it, maybe it was just her twisted personality. Not until recently when her behaviour was. . unusually reckless. This past few days she dropped a plate or two, a bottle, simple stuff. She even scratched the car when she was parking one day.
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She asked loudly "What is wrong with me ?" , I have no idea what to answer, maybe it was just hypotical question, so I just shrugged my shoulders.
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"Do you think something is wrong with me ?"
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I have no idea. . . I did a quick search on Google out of curiousity on. . well, mental illnesses. There were. . few symptomps that mtached but. . honestly, how the hell am I supposed to tell her that ? She's the type that would go a complete 180 over a simple thing, spit out harsh words, and then act like nothing happened a while ago.
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I don't understand her, yes. But if it really is. . some kind of a mental disorder. . then I understand. I still don't understand what she's going through inside her head but. . I do understand how that feels like. I have GAD and social anxiety.
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Exactly. People won't understand what I'm afraid of, what's going on inside my head. So I won't pretend that I understand what's going on inside her head. But there's something wrong.
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Sometimes. . it's just tiring. . there's so many times when I would like to say "What is wrong with you ?" but I didn't.
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Maybe I should. Or shouldn't I ?


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