Subtropical Lady

August 2020 (1)

8/1/2020 Saturday 3:23 a.m.

And so it's August. One more month until the hours of about 5 p.m. to 8 a.m. that are mostly peaceful get cut to 12:30 a.m. to 5:40 a.m. if the planes hold true to the schedule they've been on since 2018. Still hearing a bunch of small planes and helicopters that can get annoying at times, but the commercials are going to make me want to scream soon enough. The sound of the freeway should be trickling back by the end of the month as well.

Why are so many people ashamed and embarrassed to grow old? All my life I've seen younger people tease older people about aging and I never understood why. Do they think they’re exempt from growing old someday as well? Maybe it's just me but I've never been ashamed or embarrassed about getting older. Frustrated at times with the problems it often brings, but I'm otherwise proud because each year that I live is one more year I've survived this shitty world. So go ahead and laugh at my wrinkled hands. Laugh at my age spots. Laugh at my gray roots. Laugh at the fat rolls you call curves because it's somehow kinder, less shameful, and politically correct, at least according to most people. In the end, I'm still alive and I'm still happy with all I've learned and experienced even if some of it was anything but fun.

Still nothing from Kim. I’m guessing Aly will eventually talk to her because she's more tolerant and forgiving than I am, but I’ve decided I’m probably just gonna ghost her. She simply lies way too much. The foundation of any friendship has to be built on trust and honesty. If you don't have that then you don't have a friendship. Never have I or will I wake up one day and say to myself, “Hey, I want a habitual liar in my life. Yeah, dishonesty is just what I need.”

I've never cared for those that have no empathy unless it affects them, that feel the world owes them, and that think everyone envies them because they're supposedly oh-so-special. Many people would envy me in some ways since I don't have to work, have a guy like Tom, an okay amount of money, and whatever, but that doesn't mean I think I'm special. It just means I got lucky in some ways just like I'm unlucky in others. Oh, there’s definitely nothing lucky, special, or glamorous about CRD.

Speaking of work, Tom got both good and bad news regarding the government job. The good is that they're holding off on interviewing people in person because of the virus. He definitely would prefer not to work because he really wants to get into programming and other things, even though he'll have to take the job if they give it to him (or any other job). It's too soon for him to go into full retirement unless we were in a cheaper place. He may still work part-time for the next few years either way, even though he’s always hated working because the jobs require you to be at a certain place, at a certain time, and do things in certain ways. Like most people, a little more independence is preferred.

The bad news is that he was chosen for an interview. This job would be a shitload of money and just about the best benefits you could ever have. We both agreed that unless he lands a job that could really alter our lives for the better and really open up our moving options, we're out of here next year. Seriously, it would have to be some incredibly amazing job to delay the move. Not necessarily a job that could get us a place in Hawaii but a place within walking distance of the beach in Florida or something like that. It wouldn't surprise me if something happened to delay the move, but I also can't see us being that lucky financially.

We agree we’re well-off enough right now and it was so funny because he was actually trying to “flunk” the video interview by giving dumb and silly answers. Some of the examples he gave me earlier had me laughing so hard I hurt his ears. Something about what software he would use in past jobs to keep track of inventory and he said, “Well, I just looked to see what was there.”

I forgot to say when I was looking up my maiden name that yes, most people with that name have been in New York. They're all over the country, including California, but mostly New York. Pretty sure my great-grandparents entered New York which was the main port of entry back then.

Tom is going to bring in the bike stand and the old bike I used in Oregon since it's a 24in-wheel to get more cardio that way since it's too hot to be out for that long during the daytime. That's why I'm going out either at night or early in the morning. He likes biking better than the treadmill. To me, the bike is boring as fuck if it isn't outdoors.

Yesterday morning's walk was surprisingly chilly. It was 62° yet it felt like 50. As I was passing by the RV lot, I remembered the email from Linda that Dixie forwarded to me about the problems with people climbing the fence into the lot and stealing catalytic converters and even solar panels off of one of the RVs. There are sections of the lot that can't be seen by other houses or people driving by, so it would be easy to do.

Tom saw 2 cop cars head down the street yesterday but they were only there for a few minutes which suggests they may have come to do a wellness check because you would think it would take longer to fill out a police report if a crime had been committed.

They've joined the new house, and someone is definitely living with Bob and Virginia. I haven't seen either one of them out and about on foot or in their vehicle for a few weeks now which can't be good. I just hope we get out of here while they're still alive!

Decided to treat my toenails with Lamisil and see what happens. My fingernails are also looking worse again but not the lifting. The discoloration, especially in the thumbs, has darkened. So the lifting needed the calcium supplements I've been taking, and the discoloration is probably the fungus the pharmacist told me it was and that I've suspected was the case. If I can get off my nail strip obsession for a while, I can go back to treating that as well because it did seem to help. Maybe after my October appointment with Doc A.

I'm not all that impressed with the ocean nail stickers because even with my nails longer, you can't see as much of the image to know what it is. If I didn't know any better, I may think it was some random abstract design.

Had good energy yesterday but today I'm tired. I knew I would be. Even so, I'm managing to tackle the laundry and later we’ll slave over the damn pigs.

Dixie left a message yesterday evening inviting me to come down and visit with her out front but I told her in an email that I'm off-schedule now and will let her know when I can get down to see her.

Going to pull the clothes out of the dryer now. I had to wait for them to cool down because heat melts adhesive and causes my nail strips to lift.

8/2/2020 Sunday 3:51 a.m.

I slept well and awoke with good energy. Let me guess...this means I'll be up 18 hours or more and will be exhausted tomorrow, right?

Because it's cheaper on the weekend, we set the main AC to 78 but I'm going to bump it back up to 80. 78 makes it too chilly in here early in the morning. When it’s set at 80, the room I spend most of my time in stays between 77-78 which is perfect for me.

I hope today is more peaceful. Yesterday was like old times and I almost wished we were locked down again. Lots of loud traffic, landscaping, and Santa's yapping mutt that just can't shut up whether it's sitting outside their place or being walked.

He cleaned up and brought in the bike yesterday, so now we have the bike, the treadmill, the Bowflex and the skier. Of course I have my Pilates ring too. We have plenty of variety although my favorite is outdoor cardio. I'm going to be heading out right before the sun jumps up over the horizon. I split up my Bowflex exercises where I work my arms and core a little at a time over a 4-day period because strength training to me is just so damn boring. Tom laughed at that and said that being bored for 20 minutes is nothing compared to all day long when he was working.

Well, he'll be working hard on installing the new fence just as soon as all the parts get here.

Our spit is now at the post office down in Los Angeles. it should be delivered to 23andMe’s lab tomorrow, but it can take about a month to get the results.

Really didn't like the ocean nail stickers so I put one of the gradients on. Silver on one side, grayish-black on the other.

8/3/2020 Monday 4:04 a.m.

Luckily for me, I wasn't up as long as I thought I would be and I'm not tired today either. My sciatic nerve was bothering me yesterday but it's fine today, so I think I’ll go for my half-hour walk once the sun starts coming up enough to send the skunks to bed. OMG, there was a particular spot I walked by yesterday where the stench of skunk was horrible! Really, really hope they're not such an issue in Florida.

I also saw what I'm pretty sure was a baby jackrabbit. It was so cute, and it sure ran fast when it saw me coming.

Yesterday I made a homemade smoothie with a banana, blueberries and a pinch of brown sugar, flaxseed and coconut flakes. Today's smoothie has the same ingredients except that I replaced the blueberries with honeydew melon.

I have quite a decision to make. As of yet, I haven't gone longer than 10 weeks of consistently taking my medication before I start to feel a little anxious. It's been just over 6 weeks since the last time I had to cut my dose, yet labs are a total of 16 weeks away. I don't think I can go that long without having anxiety as the shit ramps up in my system, so I'm thinking that the week before when I have 6 weeks to go, I'm going to cut doses no matter how I feel. Monday, Wednesday and Friday I'll cut my waiting time in half. Tuesday and Thursday, I'll cut the pill in half. That random picture you see on Twitter if you're following me there...that's posted after I get up and pee, take my meds, then begin the half-hour wait until I can have my coffee.

I want my numbers to be as good as possible, so that's what I'm going to do with my medication, and also, a few days before the lab, I'll cut as much cholesterol out as I can. I hate to replace it with pasta and bread, but I need to have something filling even if it'll put a pound or two on me even in just a few days. Saw they have that Impossible beef at Walmart, so I may try it even though it's a bit expensive.

Well, that didn't take long. Not surprisingly, Aly received a message saying, “Can we talk?” from the 860 area code which is Connecticut. It came from an internet number. I figured Kim would find a way to reach out to her soon enough. There really is no keeping her offline.

8/4/2020 Tuesday 6:21 a.m.

Waiting on a Hostess variety pack of cappuccino and hot cocoa K-cups with Twinkies, Snoballs & Ding Dongs flavors. Plus, caramel apple coffee K-cups.

Saw the Floyd bodycam video. Both sides are guilty without a doubt. Floyd was suspected of some crime, high on drugs, and resisting arrest. The pigs, however, have no excuse for keeping a knee on his neck for 11 minutes.

I've had serious asthma attacks before, and yes, you really can have enough oxygen to shout out here and there but not enough to support the body. The thug should have been thrown in jail and given his day in court. Not killed. The pigs should be charged with at least manslaughter because I can't say that it was premeditated and that they consciously chose their end goal to be murder.

Shortly after I began my walk yesterday, I noticed what may or may not be my sciatic nerve acting up again, and where I should have shortened my walk, I did my usual half-hour mix of walking and jogging and ended up aggravating it even more. It hurt all day yesterday when I walked or when I would lie on that side. Not sure it's my sciatic nerve, though, since Tom describes it as a pain that is not only excruciating but that doesn't stay in one place. For me, it's right above the hip joint only and I wouldn't describe it as excruciating. It's a bit painful, especially if I jump up quickly after sitting for a while but nothing that extreme. I'm taking it easy today. I'm tired anyway. Yesterday was my day to be up longer than I would have liked, and I didn't sleep as well or as long.

We went out to Rite Aid yesterday and got some treats. Then I did more surveys on 23andMe and even took a hearing test. I followed the instructions and thought I did pretty well, yet they said my hearing was below normal. Okay, I get that I'm deaf in one ear, but the good ear has always seemed to more than make up for it.

It hit me that I don’t have to not polish my toenails in order to treat the fungus. The fungus isn't on the nail surface, so all I have to do is put the Lamisil along the cuticles and as far under the edges of the nails as I can, and it will either work or it won't. I put nail stickers on the big toes and regular polish on the other toes.

Just like Aly did, I got a quick text from Kim asking how I was and that we had a stick to texts for now. There really is no keeping this sicko offline, is there? It always finds a way on. I realized, however, that there really is an in-between when it comes to ghosting her vs. going back and forth with her every single day, and that's what I started to do where I would only check in a couple of times a week. Decided to leave a voice message because I also realize that just because I’m likely to receive 10 minutes’ worth of repetitive rambling voice messages in return, that doesn't mean I have to listen to them all. Especially when I know damn well what she's going to say.

As I told Aly, who says she's gotten worse with age, her June fixation really is nothing new. Remember, she obsessively stalked and harassed the shit out of me too, from something like 2010-2015, just in different ways and for different reasons. She's sick. Plain and simple. There really isn't any getting around that, cruel-sounding or not. This isn't just someone with learning disabilities and memory issues. It’s someone that's truly sick in the head. The kind that may actually kill her victims if she had the mentality, means, freedom, and the guts to do it.

As long as she never has my address, email addresses, and is never connected to me on Facebook, there's only so much she could do if she decided to turn on me since it's so much easier to block people online and on phones than it was a decade ago. It's just that she could do quite a bit of damage on Facebook before I could stop her if she turned against me, and that includes involving others. I have real friends and relatives on Facebook and I certainly don't want her reaching out to them just because she was pissed at me, not that I wouldn't reach out to Carol in return. On any other site, I don't care what she does.

She's also been known to abuse email addresses by signing people up for tons of shit and this is by her own admission.

If there was any good to being funny farmed and in a couple of foster homes, it’s that it gives you great hands-on experience with learning about all kinds of crazies.

Yesterday I was thinking of my loyal New Yorker and then it hit me...how do I even know Marie is still in New York? So I messaged Becky and told her that while I got fed up with how she could be sweet and kind one minute and paranoid and accusatory the next, that didn't mean I didn't think of her from time to time and asked if she was still in New York. After all, she did briefly go to Texas as well as to Oregon on account of some of her many failed relationships.

Becky said she is doing well and is in New York. Good to know she's doing well. Just because she drove me batty didn't mean I ever wanted her to suffer in any way.

Maria R is a totally different story. Becky says she came to Cali to meet the daughter she gave up for adoption, ended up meeting some hustler guy, and then gone was 3 years of sobriety, her Section 8, her apartment, her cat, and her medical. She's now in a homeless camp in L.A., but as Becky said, she made that choice.

Some people really do seem to thrive on misery and failure.

Anyway, Marie is still my top guess even though it still seems weird that she may not follow me on other sites, would be this quiet for this long, and would randomly browse other people's journals as well. But I don't know. Maybe she acquired an interest in them over time. And maybe she feels that speaking up would drive me into hiding.

Whoever they are, they're obviously not offended by my more controversial opinions, but then Marie was never very judgmental to begin with. You could shout in her face over and over again something she disagreed with and it's not like she would crucify you for it or dump you in any way.

I once asked her on Facebook if she was the one that kept coming up as being in Lyons since one’s location can and does shift a bit at times, and while she does have Apple products, all she said was that Lyons was about 90 miles away from her. She never actually denied it was her or maybe she thought the saying that was a denial in itself. The tracker can have about a 100-mile range. When I had Tom check something out one time from work, it said he was in Salinas.

But why is it that when I did a little test one time saying that I wanted to go FO and to let me know if you read me regularly so I can add you, she never stepped forward? Could she have felt that would be dishonest on her part even though she wouldn't have to use her real name like she wouldn’t on Facebook? Either way, she’s still my top guess even though I'm not 100% convinced it's her.

8/5/2020 Wednesday 6:56 a.m.

The metallic nails came yesterday. This weekend I'll put on the silver set. If I like how it looks, I'll wear the gold ones when I wear my teal dress with gold accents when I see Dr. A in October. Not sure that one's going to be turned into a video appointment. If it is, I'll wear that dress and those nails to my final ENT appointment.

I have the next few weekends picked out. Silver metallics this weekend, green glitter the next, and red solids with red stripes against white accents the next.

The kitchen sink drain is pretty clogged up so we're hoping that when Walmart delivers groceries in a few hours along with some drain opener, it will be enough to bust through the clog.

I was tired early yesterday because I’d been tired all day. At 5:30 yesterday evening I took one Calms Forte pill, but it didn't do me any good. At around 7, I took another one and was out by 8. I only woke up two times that I remember. Got up to pee around midnight and then I glanced at the clock at 2-something before falling back asleep. Then I got up just after 3. I have okay energy today but I'm not going out walking because my hip is still sore.

Yesterday I was thinking about how I miss having a Fitbit tracker. My old one started having problems and can't be used so I was thinking of eventually getting a new one. I like the Versa 2. It not only tracks steps, sleep and HR, but I can also talk to Alexa as well and upload up to 300 songs. Even Tom agrees he likes Fitbit better than MorePro. Fitbit is more accurate and in real-time. I also liked being able to share my Fitbit activity with others, so when I get a new one, I'll share the link to my Fitbit profile, though it may be a while.

I realize that reconnecting with Kim as I did a few years ago means I'm giving her a chance to potentially screw me over again like I gave the termite the chance to do that too many times, but as I said yesterday, there’s an in-between. I have no books for sale for her to mess with and I can always block her if she becomes a problem. I know she'd create fake accounts to contact me from but those would be ignored and or blocked as well.

8/6/2020 Thursday 8 a.m.

I really fucked things up big time by clogging the kitchen sink up. Tom says don't worry about it, he's broken things before too, etc.

But it still sucks because it's more money and time that could go into other things.

He thought the drain opener would be the fix, but nope. Then he took apart the pipe under the sink and snaked out the clog that way. Then the pipe broke, and he was trying to seal it with a rubber spray that smells absolutely horrible even with the doors and kitchen window open. He came to suspect we may have to replace the entire sink. I've always preferred to have one big sink rather than two separate sides but would have liked to do this wherever we end up settling. We picked out a sink and faucet for $150, but first he's going to try to replace the pipe and drain for just $35. It's still going to be a lot of work. He's definitely not happy with how huge a job it's going to be when he had other plans, and I don’t blame him. At least if the sink does need replacing, the timing is good because they're doing bulk pickup on the 12th. It’d be one seriously heavy MF since it’s porcelain with a cast iron bottom. The stainless steels are much lighter.

On top of that, Alexa is messed up. At least the one in the bedroom is. I have it in brief response mode yet she's back to saying “okay” when I command her to do things. She was also having trouble reading my book. We discovered that somehow, that device got switched to the wrong account.

How the hell do these things happen?

No sign of Dahl or his van lately. Been seeing other vehicles there instead. Given how quiet it's been there for a couple of weeks now, I wonder if something happened to him. But if it did, that doesn't explain the absence of the van unless he got in an accident.

Yesterday I got so damn tired that I worried I had somehow become diabetic but when we tested me a couple of hours after my last meal, my blood sugar was 91. That was such a relief to know that it actually perked me up. We thought it would be around 110.

I only needed one Calms Forte to sleep last night and I slept a long time, only waking up once.

8/7/2020 Friday 8:32 a.m.

He tried all different things to fix the sink to no avail so we're having a company come out sometime between 10 and noon and it isn't Roto-Rooter. They claim their rates are a lot cheaper, so we'll see. As long as they fix it right!

He got a new pipe and drain for the non-disposal side but it's looking like we won't have to replace the sink. Good. I would prefer not to in this place because then it's mostly going to end up being for someone else since we're not even going to be here for another year. Normally I'd like one big sink but the dividers are good for the pigs because then I can just shift any dishes over to one side, clean out the other side, and put the pigs in there when I'm cleaning their cage and they need a quick bath. They’re enough work as it is and again I have to trim their fucking nails. Fortunately, today isn't a pet care day other than feeding them and stopping to pat some heads.

I've always preferred porcelain to stainless steel because there's always this whitish film that builds up in stainless steel sinks that I never seem to be able to get rid of no matter what cleaning products I try. So the 37-year-old sink gets to stay for now. We would do a complete kitchen remodel if we were staying, but of course we're not. There isn't much that doesn't need to be updated in this place. The roof may last for a while but other than the bathroom sinks and toilets, everything needs to be redone. The kitchen appliances and washer are new enough, but the dryer is ancient.

While Tom was working yesterday, I had the doors open. When I went to shake the duster out the front door because I had been dusting the living room, I saw movement behind the hedges and for a second I thought it was Bob. I called out hello and the guy said hello back and, “You’re Jodi, right?”

He introduced himself as Mike and I asked how his parents were doing. That's when he told me that eight or nine days ago Bob died around 1 in the morning. :-( So the poor guy suffered through radiation for nothing.

Mike said he's going back to his home in Southern California this weekend but that his brother and sister would be around to spend time with Virginia. He said she's doing well but I didn't ask if she plans to stay. I didn't think it would be the time or my place to ask that. I'm so sorry for her and I can just imagine the immense depression she must be feeling now! :-( They've lived here for 32 years and have probably been married twice as long as Tom and I have. I can't imagine how I could ever possibly go on without him but at least she has kids to help her. I hope she doesn’t leave before we do, but I guess it's going to depend on how needy she is of help and if she can stand to stay there with all the memories and all that. She may be moved to an assisted care place or in with relatives.

Couldn’t help but remember how I said to Tom right after Bob told Tom of his diagnosis how I feared he’d be gone by August and the place on the market by Christmas. And the bad feeling that “blew through” the front door two days ago when I opened it.

His spirit? Just negative energy due to the sadness of his loss radiating from over there?

*sighs* Can’t I be psychic in less worthless ways than knowing the timeframe of when my neighbor is going to die? How about able to bust through clogs, pick winning lottery numbers, and things like that?

His son trimmed and blew weeds which, like his dad, took him forever. Then I saw Bob and Virginia’s SUV parked on the street, but I don’t know if it’s been moved or is now back in the garage. Can’t imagine Virginia ever driving again. If that’s true, then I don’t see how she could stay here unless someone moves in with her. This place has a walking score of just 8. The nearest bus stop is miles away.

Can't find the obit but I guess it's too soon. Pretty sad that they’ll air out your dirty laundry if you break the law (or are falsely accused of doing so) for free, but your loved ones have to pay to announce your death.

Still getting hit with fatigue too much of the time, so I’m going to tweak my diet a bit and see if that helps. I’ll drink just plain water rather than flavored sparkling water for starters. Slept well last night, though, only waking up twice. Slept a long time again, too.

Replied to Kim’s 2-day-old message and have resolved to reply every two to three days. Nothing short of death will keep her offline anyway, and I don't feel the need to totally ghost her at this time even if I should.

I guess Cam's already making enemies training to be a CO because he refuses to be quiet about some of the guards coughing in teens’ faces. I guess he got transferred to some courthouse but he's going along with the transfer for now so he doesn't get fired.

I’d have been too selfish to care. Life is all about survival and looking out for ourselves. If it doesn’t affect me directly then I don’t say shit. I wouldn’t have said anything about the kids living in back had it not been for one of them having an insanely loud car.

Speaking of that, this has been the longest I’ve gone without hearing that bastard. It’s gotta be dead, in jail, or have moved.

8/8/2020 Saturday 6 p.m.

A father-and-son team came out and fixed the clog in the kitchen sink. It's nice that it only costs $176 since most places want more, but it still seems a bit extreme for a simple job but didn't even take a half hour. He just vacuumed out the excess water, opened the pipe, and sent his motorized snake down the drain.

It probably was my fault after all as he mentioned eggshells being good for disposals but bad for drains and I definitely put some eggshells down lately. Potatoes are another bad thing as I've known for a while now, but we’re just not going to bother using them anymore. Garbage disposals are always a problem. I can just scrape any leftover food off the plate and into the trash. I've got some new colorful sink strainers on the way in pink, yellow, blue and orange.

I just wish our shit would stop breaking. The next thing to break was the motor on the coded lock on the back door. I sensed it was broken very strongly and told him so before he discovered that was the case by running some tests. Just a feeling that came to me. So he's ordered yet another part for that which is another $50.

Starting to see a familiar and frustrating pattern here as I remember the breakage curse that seemed to be on us in Arizona where things were constantly breaking, big and small.

Another frustrating thing was that when I was finally able to clean up the kitchen and put things away, I cut myself on the slicer when loading up the dishwasher. Cut myself deeper than I have in ages, but we managed to put a Band-Aid on it and get it under control. It started bleeding again when I removed the Band-Aid and took a shower, so I re-bandaged it and it's better today.

Yesterday I had better energy than I've had in a while but today I'm tired. It totally fucking figures, too. I knew I would be. I knew I would have trouble sleeping because I had so much energy yesterday. It took 2 Calms Forte to knock me out and I woke up a lot along the way so that's why I feel anything but rested today.

The fucking cock across the street is back to sawing again. The dark pickup has been there instead of the gold van so I don't know if it's Dahl or his son (couldn’t see that deep into the carport at this angle) but today was the second day in a row and once again I want to confront the bastard. But also once again, Tom's paranoia has me hesitant because of the timing, so he says. He says that because he's going to be making his own racket putting up the new fence and using the power hose, it wouldn't be a good time to say anything.

First of all, his power tools are nowhere near as loud as that fucking saw. Second of all, the cock isn’t going to hear his tools inside his house like I can hear his in here, especially when the fence is on the other side of the house. It's just his reluctance to complain on neighbors that he's always had.

I do understand his concerns to a degree. I didn't know I was going to be counter-complained on for being encouraged to come down and swear out a complaint against the loud car. Then complained on again when I “anonymously” complained. People in the west really do hate it when you complain. So it's tough either way. It sucks having to sit back and quietly take shit, but you can't speak out about it either without some kind of harassment for it. I mean look at Phoenix. I always thought that the pigs acted on actions and not words because that only made sense, yet they sure did make a whole lot out of nothing in the end, didn’t they?

It still blows my mind how often I hear sawing around here. Even I never would have believed it and would have laughed had someone told me that every 5-6 houses would be wielding the damn things. On just this circle alone that I know of, there was Bob who used to do that, the contractor that moved a few years ago, someone down toward Dixie’s place, someone in back that even Andy saw when he was here and out walking with us, and now this little cock. Definitely not what retirement communities were about when my parents were in them and I’d be willing to bet they never heard a single motorcycle either.

I'm not stupid. I know the 3-month temporary place isn’t going to be so temporary. We always get stuck in places for longer than we want. Always. Oh, it may not be for the eight years we’ll be here, the six years we were in Phoenix, or the five years in Auburn, but I'm sure those few months will end up being at least a year. That's why it's really important to get the money's worth out of the realtor we hire to try to get the quietest place possible so that when they're sawing there as well, since this is obviously what retirement communities have come to, and they're zooming by on motorcycles, it won't be as noticeable as it is here.

I can't wait to get back out into the country and put some space between us and others! I am so sick of people and the racket they make.

Our new Fitbits are on the way! His is black and mine will be what's called pedal which is a peachy pink of sorts.

I put the silver metallic nails on, but they sucked, and I had to remove them. They were too big and thick and had creases in them. I now have green glitter strips on.

Haven't heard from Kim in a few days and neither has Aly. She thinks she might be being temporarily ghosted fur refusing to contact June for her, but I think that because I haven't heard from her either that she probably got caught. I'm sure she'll find a way back on, though, within a week if even that.

Had this really bizarre dream where I was in my bedroom. It sort of looked like this bedroom even though it wasn't. I sat on the floor at the far end of the room and pulled a couple of dolls off the nearby bed. I took hold of one of them and spread its legs and began to rub its crotch. I began to feel totally turned on and lay on my back. I was by the wall and the floor was cold even though it was carpeted so I knew it was cold outdoors. I became even hornier and woke up with my heart pounding as I was beginning to slide my pants down, totally turned on by this cheap plastic doll that didn't seem much bigger than a Barbie.

Strange. Just strange.

8/9/2020 Sunday 7:50 p.m.

Ordered some tracing paper to make nail sticker templates for the ones that are too big for my nails. I’ll trace some of the ones that fit and those will be my templates so I can cut the bigger ones to the proper size.

Really like some of the bands they have for the Versa. Fell in love with this rainbow band but I fell even harder for a rose-gold band I found with shiny “diamonds” embedded in it. Makes it look less sporty and more feminine. It also has a clasp that I think will be easier to get on and off. It's beautiful and definitely more like jewelry and a fancy watch than anything else. But it's not just about looks for me. I'm so excited to get using it! We went through the online user guide to get a head start in getting familiar with it for when it comes on the 11th.

I picked out what songs I want to load on it. I'm thinking I’ll put it on my right wrist even though it may be harder to get on and off that way because that's the side my hearing ear is on. They say it's waterproof, but I really don't want to wear it in the shower.

Now if only I could stop breaking things and my hip would get better. As I was going out the screen door in back, which is getting kind of ancient, part of the metal frame in the center popped off but Tom was able to put it back on in no time.

My hip problem could still be the sciatic nerve or arthritis but now we're wondering about a damaged hip flexor. I did some stretching exercises and I'm hoping that will help.

He began working on the back corner and will soon be removing the little fence back there so long as nothing else breaks to take his time away from it. He thinks he can be done in time for the bulk trash collection.

When I looked out front earlier, I noticed that Nancy was parked in the driveway. The garage door was open but there was no sign of their SUV. I'm thinking they got rid of it. I just hope she stays there while we're still here! I thought of going over to show my support but not with the virus still going around and not knowing if she's even up to having company to begin with.

Dixie invited me down yesterday evening, but I told her it was still not a good time for me. She left a voice message earlier today saying that her computer is broken so call if I want to talk. I texted her back, but I don't know if she got the message. Monday or Tuesday evening I should be able to get down there. Plus, I can start taking the bike out in the evening.

With all the delays at the post office, thanks to the fucking virus, I'm starting to think our spit isn't going to make it to 23andMe this month.

8/10/2020 Monday 10:29 p.m.

It's been a fun yet sometimes frustrating day, LOL, but yes, I've definitely been in good spirits overall and that means a lot to me. I'll never take these good feelings for granted. Not after the hell I went through from 2014 until early last year.

So our new Fitbits came earlier than expected. There's a part of me that thinks I should return it and that it's a waste of money since it doesn't have a speaker and do all the things I thought it would do. I can talk to Alexa, but she doesn't talk back. She writes her response on the screen. So that means I can't play music from it either. It would have to be synced to Bluetooth or something like that.

Setting it up and learning about the features has been more frustrating than fun. We had to watch a tutorial just to change the damn band sizes which seem a bit extreme for the amount of money we paid for this thing. Pretty sure this is the Rolls-Royce of Fitbits, so when you're getting something that's top-of-the-line, it just seems like things shouldn't be this complicated.

His is actually in shades of black and gray. It's a limited-edition band. It came with an extra band in a hideous shade of army green that not even he likes.

I'm still thinking of getting the diamond rose gold band if I don't send it back altogether. It is still kind of fun and a definite motivator. I just prefer to wear mine on my ankle more often because my arms don't always swing back and forth when I walk, especially if I'm carrying something and that way my steps don’t get tracked. My band is a light pale pink which is nice but not great. It's better than the tangerine Charge HR I used to have that actually looked more like red with a hint of orange.

I just wish I knew why I was getting so much skin irritation lately when things are in contact with it. I’ve worn my wedding band for 26 years yet lately I've been getting red and irritated beneath it and have to take it off for a while. Same with the Fitbit, though it's worse around my wrist than my ankle. I don't think it will be comfortable to sleep with it around my ankle, though. Besides, that wouldn't be very convenient if I wanted to glance at the time throughout the night. I keep the Alexa clock turned away because even on the dimmest setting it's too bright and I like the bedroom pitch black. I dimmed the screen on my Fitbit.

I was checking out the different clock faces but had some issues with some of those so I'm using the one that came with it for now which is actually the easiest to see. Functionality is more important than its inner appearance.

We've had issues trying to set up notifications and the GPS but hopefully I won't be woken up by anything new that comes in since I'm going to set it to Sleep Mode before I crash. If that doesn't work, then I guess I'll try Do Not Disturb.

What's better about Fitbit than MorePro is that even though the MorePro had more things it tracked, Fitbit is definitely more accurate.

My hip still bugs me at times but it's nothing too debilitating.

As I said, though, there are some frustrations that go with it and some things I don't get. I have most of my graphs and all of my statistics set to public yet when I view my profile from the public's perspective, all I see is stuff from 2016.

Also, how the hell could I have had too many calories when it says I've burned more than I've eaten? I burned 1417 and ate 1375.

We went to Rite Aid earlier and saw that the SUV was parked in front of next door. Saw some other guy walking around the carport and bending down to look at something just outside of it by the property line. Getting the feeling they're gearing up to clear things out and move her. :-(

The bastard with the saw was quiet for the last couple of days but I don't expect it to last more than a week or so if even that.

Tom has torn down the old rotted fence in the back corner and the next step will be to put up the new one.

Since Dixie fell this morning and didn't think she could get outside safely and easily enough, instead of going down for a visit, we had a phone visit and chatted for about an hour.

I voice-typed this entry on the skier which Fitbit thinks is an elliptical machine. Now I’m “in the zone.” It says I’ve now burned 1567 cals. Then it says I reached my goal of 1475 cals.

But my goal is set to 1200, even though I knew I’d have more than that. So yeah, not sure how that works. I don't expect to lose weight, and that's okay. As long as I'm active for at least a half-hour most days

I got up shortly before 11:00 AM and put it on a couple of hours later. So in the 12 hours I've been wearing it I've accumulated 7474 steps and 41 minutes of activity. My heart peaked at 126. Made a quick drop to 70 but that's no doubt when I took it off of my wrist to transfer it to my ankle. I’ll be sure to hit 10K steps before bed.

8/11/2020 Tuesday 3 p.m.

I’ve gotten to know my Fitbit a lot more. There are still some things that are confusing and frustrating, but I'm thinking I am going to keep it after all. Tom loves his. I don't get why there's a privacy option for sharing things like steps, sleep and HR when no one can see these things anyway. The extra features are cool even if we may not use them all. You can choose up to five different clock faces and change them whenever you want. Even though there are some pretty designs with pictures of flowers and butterflies and all that bright, colorful girly shit I've always loved, I’m wearing it on my ankle when I’m awake, so there's no point in switching to a clock face that would be harder to see anyway. It was great being able to quickly check the time when I woke up, thanks to the large numbers on the large screen. Until I get even more blind of course.

Really hoping that the next place will be quieter enough that I can give him the Alexa clock and just use the first-generation Alexa for sleeping. Don't know that I'll be able to do away with the stereo, however, until we get land. I'm not going to be able to get motorcycles far enough away from the bedroom in any park anywhere. Plus, they're going to have big loud commercial mowers coming right up to the windows once a week but at least it will only be once a week. Hopefully, the temp home won't be next to someone with lots of shrubs that they trim regularly with loud equipment.

It was right on, and I mean right on, with the sleep! When I got up, I remembered getting up after 5 to pee, plus the few other times I awoke and glanced at the time. I got a good sleep score of 88 and slept for 7 hours and 44 minutes. It saw the exact times I woke, too. Slept from 2:36 a.m. to 11:12 a.m. and was awake for 52 minutes, in REM for 2 hours and 11 minutes, in a light sleep for 4 hours and 6 minutes, and a deep sleep for 1 hour and 27 minutes.

I can tell when I got up since I shot from 71 to 97 as that wake-up adrenaline shot through me. 71 was as low as my HR went. I've always had a naturally high HR but it's way better, along with my sleep than when I was in perimenopause and started on the medication

That was another thing we didn't like about the MorePro is that it would only track sleep between midnight and 8 a.m.

So since I'm keeping it, I decided to go ahead and get that bling band. Others with small wrists say it fits them. Don't know that I could open it wide enough to get it on my ankle but changing bands on these things is a nightmare.

I'm also getting nail foil in 91 different colors and designs. :-) I look forward to trying them! I should be able to do so without having any chemicals touch my nails. Whenever I get a set of nail polish strips that are boring, I can throw a topcoat (or some real polish) over them and then foil the top with whatever design I want. I'm getting a huge mix of things from holographic to chrome to glitter to flowers and so much more.

Nail stamping is something I would never bother trying because it seems to be a really messy pain in the ass. With the foil, I shouldn't need any special glues or UV lights. So it will be to dress up those boring colors mixed in with whatever sets of stickers I get.

I’m going to go out running later this evening so I should beat my high HR score of 126 that I hit yesterday on the skier. Didn't quite get 10k steps yesterday because I forgot that the next day starts at midnight and not when I go to bed.

Pretty fucking sad that we have to "negotiate" whether or not to help the American people, but in a heartbeat, we'll send millions to a terroristic country like Lebanon that wouldn't do shit for us in return if they could.

I’m also wondering if we're ever going to have a woman or gay president in my lifetime. Hell, we haven't even had a Jewish, Hispanic or Asian president. But we've had a black one. See why it gets to me when people claim blacks don't have the same opportunities as others? Oh, I totally believe they didn't used to. No doubt about that. But I think they've had equal opportunities for quite a while now regardless of how some of the police treat them. Doctors, lawyers, nurses and many other great jobs including those currently training for great careers in law enforcement, medical, legal, labor and all kinds of things. Many jobs will purposely pass over whites in favor of minorities and or foreigners. I personally know people this has happened to.

Holly and Shannan are back to being suggested to me, but I haven't seen Dr. Hall.

Had a dream that I made a prank call to Andy where I didn't say anything.

I also dreamed a therapist came to visit me and she brought a suitcase to help with the move or maybe some vacation I was about to embark on. The place was long and cluttered. As she settled on the couch, I told her I had to pee before we started talking. I tried to hop quickly and gracefully over all the furniture and clutter just to feel like I was stuck in slow motion or something. Once I got to the bathroom, I could barely even push my string bikini panties down. It was as if they just didn't want to budge.

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