Ninja Girl

Diary of a Breakup
2020-08-18 15:44:10 (UTC)

Well you had to start fucking other people eventually....

I just didn't think it would be so soon.

Fuck i really wish I hadn't scheduled the surgery. Part of me doesn't want to do it. Another part of me is like, fuck it...now i'm so pissed at you that damn right i'm going to take you for what i can.

I told you to start fucking other people. I didn't think it would happen so soon. I didn't think it would happen with someone you already knew.

BUT THIS IS GOOD RIGHT.

When someone shows you their true colors, believe them. And there's three more things i can now add to the list of things that i can use to get over you.

You better do the best fucking surgery on the planet.

Here's the thing with breakups when you're married. You can't go move on to someone new. I can't go fuck someone else to get over you.

BUT

You're separating. You have every right to go off and do whatever. We broke up.

I'm pissed that:
- your admin chick thinks of me now as the whore who you fucked with while you're now off fucking other people and i can't see my face in your office for normal office appointments or even call.
- i had to call you out for you to admit that you're fucking other people
- that you sent me a dick pick that you had already sent to someone else
- that i'm at the mercy of being nice to you so that i can get the surgery. Not that i would be mean, but there's some choice words that i would give that i'm holding back on, other than to tell you that i deserve better than to have a recycled dick pic.
- you effing told your wife that this entire time we WERE fucking...you could have fucking said it was someone else. Since she knows my FUCKING NAME and EMAIL.

But i need to learn to not dwell. If you're making these mistakes with me, it's not because of ME...it's becuase you're a fucking idiot. And now you can have other women yell at you for your dumb shit, the stuff that i couldn't.

And along with the lessons i've learned about what i want thanks to my marriage, i've learned a LOT about my own ways. Because i do repeat patterns. And i realize that I make excuses for guys WAY too easily. Way. Too. Easily. I make every instance be an outlier when they're not.

I'm glad that I said for the first time ever "not to sound high maintenance but i deserve better than that" when i told you not to send me recycled dick pics.

This diary is no longer aimed at you directly...no longer writing it like you're the target audience.





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