dreamer

dreamsinstories
2020-08-17 08:26:59 (UTC)

3

I have not been feeling very happy the last few days, it appears that my natural melancholia is particularly heavy at an early time this year. perhaps I need to adjust my intake.

My writing is progressing though I have found I am stuck on a question of what one teenage human wishes to say to her cousin. This is frustrating me and I have had to resort to seeking advice. Not an easy thing when it is remembered the context is not to many peoples liking. Fortunately I have discovered I have fans already so I have been able to ask them.

I think that the realisation that I have fans is almost as hard for me to accept as the realisation that I had enemies. I have spent my life time attempting to be "normal" and acceptable. So the realisation a few years ago that I actually had made enemies of people was difficult. I admit it wasn't entirely my own fault that I had these enemies, they chose to accept certain things one way when I meant them with honour and kindness, then they refused to listen to reason. I find this is a common thing among humans, very few of them wish to listen to reason if they have a mind set of their own making.

A clear example of this is peoples reaction to the age difference between myself and my bonded mate... In human terms I was 19 the year she was born... For many this is unacceptable, disturbing and even faintly horrifying. A confusing reaction in a world that preaches tollerence and acceptance of diversity. I have been accused of unsavoury things and having innapropriate relations with those deemed underage because of our bonding dispite the fact that nothing illegal was done, the choice to bond was put plainly and left for consideration, no one was forced into anything and nothing that might even be termed morally irresponsible was done. Humans really are a confusing species.

I stupidly got myself involved in some technomancy reecently and had to beg for more resources to complete it which was a little embarressing and I suspect has not helped with the deepening melancholia. Still it has now been successfully completed, hopefully there is no rancor on the other parties behalf after I had to triple the amount of resources asked for. those around me, including my bonded one, have told me that the price asked initially really should have been hundreds of times what it was so having to return and ask triple simply to complete it is nothing. Sadly my fiscal education and natural temprement lead me to make things "easy" for others and not to ask more than I would be willing to part with even though I want to remuneration to trade for other things




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