from my heart
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2020-08-14 12:12:14 (UTC)

nothings going right

1:12 pm
life has been even harder the past two days. the biggest reason why is because of work. sometimes its annoying because there are situations that i cant be upset or have a right to be mad about since i have agreed on it. i need to realize that i am only human with little to no experiences on many different things. im no different from other people.

my boss asked me a few months ago to set up an auto attendant for the restaurant. in my heart, i really did want to help him out of kindness and because i guess i just felt like i had some time on my hands and it wouldnt hurt to do somebody a favor, even though it could be hard.

i found a website where i can have an auto attendant and lets just say that i probably called then over 50 times and had many days where i would ask them so much questions to the point it was probably annoying. but i didnt care because if our restaurant phone number suddenly stopped working, that would be such a big problem.

in order to prevent that i just made sure to ask every little question i had and to confirm with them before even clicking a button. and they told me everything would be fine but it wasnt.

since yesterday the restaurant phone didnt go through although the auto attendant did. honestly its so complicated to even explain. but basically in simpler terms: nothings going right and everythings going wrong.

after putting so much time and effort i would think that there would be no problems but currently this is the biggest problem in my life.

a part of me feels angry because i had put all that time and things still went wrong even though everybody assured me it will be okay. i feel terrible because i feel like i made the restaurant into a huge mess that wouldnt have happened if i didnt even agree to this in the first place. i feel anger at myself for being dumb and trying to help.

i learnt that maybe i can want to help somebody because i just like to but i have my limits too. i cant help somebody with something i have no clue on either.

im also kind of scared that my bosses will be really disappointed and mad at me.

also every person i call is telling me something different at this point and its frustrating as fuck. i feel so lost lol.