Live my life♥

What am I doing in my life?

What the fuck am I upto? Now i feel no way but to get married. Like a mad women Iam looking for a guy. I mean my mom and my sister says they worry about me but I don't see them doing anything about it. I am shamelessly Sending interest to guys, messaging them as my sister and I don't seem to be getting a good reply. I thought many would want to marry me coz of my looks but not many wants to coz of my caste. And the ones who are interested are not reverting to msgs God knows why.

Also, what am I upto? Suddenly I realised that what if I don't get job there? Housewife??? Who will look after mom? I can't put burden on sis. I have to find a guy who has visa on which I can work. He needs to be a permanent visa holder. Omg monku has left me miserable he made my life messed up fucked up. M so so so angry on him. Bloody bastard... He will pay for it. Karma will teach him n his family. I just dnt know abt his intentions or any damn thing. He just fuckedup everything. I hate him.
I have to look for job ASAP. God God God plsss helppp.... Helppp this life is becoming very boring, meaning less. I hope I and also ash find a good job ASAP fucking ASAP fuck this covid.

God bless all also, monku. But let that guilt be in him forever.... That bloody ruined everything.
Have applied many jobs today will do so tomorrow as well.