Karma Rose

My Secret Thoughts
2020-08-02 23:14:46 (UTC)

Being in Love with Someone So Far Away

I added Nathan's gamer friend on snapchat and he didn't accept it until I bugged Nathan to tell his gamer friend to accept it lmao. You know what would be really funny? If he found this diary and read how much I fucken adore him. Once he added me, we sent each other messages. He sent me so many of his face and honestly, I don't blame him. He's sooooo fucken hot. I told him that he looked like a fuck boi and we did some cringe karaoke. He lip synced some songs and honesty, I think he is so much much hotter and better at lip syncing than anyone on TicTok.

Lets call him Wonderful- lmao. I'm just kidding. Let's call him Derek. I think that's how you spell it. Thought it up from Teen Wolf. Well, Derek has a baby face, extremely witty and I am so not either of those. So I feel insecure about it. I don't think I'll ever be blessed enough to be with him. Probably won't be likely because he lives in Tennessee and I live in California lmao.

I don't know. Just looking at his face... he beautiful freaken face makes me so excited and warm. It makes me text him stupid shit. I get more conscious of what I text him, so I'm really not myself at all. Also, whenever I text him, he take 3 hours to text back now :'(. I should just get over him.

Well, I guess this is bye bye Derek. Beautiful beautiful Derek. You were probably the most beautiful boy I've talked to. Well, now I'm depressed. I literally cried so hard because he was taking forever to text me back. I felt like I wasn't worthy of him. As though I wasn't worth anyone. This experience brought back bad memories of Michael saying that he liked me then telling me that he didn't see me that way. Well, maybe I'm not meant to find anyone that I like. It makes me want to be desperate for any guy, since no guy I like will ever like me back.

Damn, being in love is depressing. Well, when he texts me back, I am going to ignore him for at least 24 hours because he's ignoring me a lot. I know he's ignoring me because I hear my brother talking to him and I know there are breaks during video games.

Yes! I am his wife! LMAO No, I'm not. I really have no say. He's just some guy talking to his friend's sister. I should just focus on myself.

Thank you everyone for reading this post. Message me on Kik if you wanna talk rainylivs2000 cuz I'm lonely.

Anyways, the real question is: will I ever be important to someone? *sigh* I'm being too much of a simp right now.

From yours truly
KarmaRose7
P.S. I'm probably going to text him within an hour of him texting me :'(




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