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2020-03-19 00:00:00 (UTC)

I Fucked Up

So, as the title says I fucked up. On Tuesday my friend Tegan, who i have feelings for, sent me a Snapchat confessing her feelings for me. I panicked and stupidly told her I just wanted to be friends and that I didn't like her the same way.

So today at lunch I wanted tell her I had thought it over and apologize for rejecting her, but my anxiety got the better of me and I ran away from the situation before I could tell her how I feel. I regret rejecting Tegan but my last girlfriend Lucy left me with trust issues and she made my anxiety worse and caused my depression to come back, but i still loved her because she made me feel like I couldn't live without her.

I was so stupid. Tegan knew about all of that and she still loved me. I rejected my one chance at genuine love. Not some fake thing I was convincing myself was love.

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