2020-07-31 17:37:05 (UTC)


there was this odd feeling that persisted after i took shrooms.
it was extremely subtle, and i couldn't tell if it was because of the antidepressants,
but my energy has risen. it comes and goes, but it has definitely risen.
muki is rubbing my ankle as he watches black clover from the beginning.
i never expected my life going in this direction. but i keep being resistant. not even sure what means yet.
but it feels like i'm making big changes again. expending more energy than i have.
maybe i have to smoke less. or i have to do more?
and now i'm thinking about getting my master's degree in nursing informatics. to combine nursing with computer science...that would be pretty amazing. and a six figure salary ain't bad either.
i can't remember a lot of what happened after i graduated college. i realize now it's because i've probably gone into passive mode,
not putting a goal for myself. but working towards that goal was exhausting. and yet, i have to be careful. bodies in motion have to stay in motion. and i'm just afraid i'll grow stagnant and complacent. there is much to live for...even when sometimes, it doesn't feel like it. but as i sit here watching black clover with muki, i can breathe and know that i'm in good presence. i hope i can try to remember that.