Amethyst

I don't even know
2020-07-31 17:18:47 (UTC)

My Cuts

Dear Diary,
Let's talk about my cuts. I guess they started about 2 or 3 months ago. I don't know. Ever since I was 11, I thought about cutting, but I had always been too scared. I once tried to cut myself with a knife, but got too scared. I'm so pitiful. Anyway, the first time I cut myself was actually with a piece of glass. It was from a broken earring. I decided to cut myself for no reason at all. I started bleeding but it didn't hurt at all. Ever since then, I cut myself almost everyday. But soon my glass wasn't enough to satisfy I suppose. I used anything but razors. I was scared. I don't know why. The things I used to cut myself were weird. It started from glass, to thumbtacks, and now to a tape cutter. Anything sharp was useful I suppose. I tried using knives but It wouldn't make me bleed. Whenever someone noticed, I would try and make up excuses like, "It's red pen" or "Accidentally cut myself". Sometimes I think about slitting my wrists and bleeding out in bathtub. I don't think I'm depressed or suicidal though. Yes I think about it, but I don't think I would ever do it. I have a good life I guess. But it would be better without the stress or the pain. Hah, I sound like a child wanting attention. Forcing myself to not tear up while writing this right now. I don't know if I'll get better, but I'd prefer to do it alone than ask for help. I don't know if I'm the only kid on this site that feels like this but....Whatever.




Ad: