Amethyst

I don't even know
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2020-07-31 02:37:11 (UTC)

Yesterday, and Today-First entry

Dear Diary,
Today has been alright so far. I've been listening to music like "Honey Lavender" and just Anime openings to relax. I'm such a weeb. Yesterday, I cried. They were free-flowing tears. They had no meaning, I think. I was in a bad mood yesterday. No one noticed and I wanted to tell somebody but- I knew that it would just be a bother. No one could understand what was going on with me. I also doubt that they would want to understand anyway. Sometimes I feel like there's no one I can talk to. No one I can fully trust. Not even my family I suppose. I don't really tell my parents anything. But me and my sister are pretty close I guess. I still don't tell her how I'm feeling. She would take it as a joke. Since I was in such a bad mood, I wanted some quiet. I couldn't get that though. My mother kept nagging me about brushing my teeth and going to sleep. I wanted to explain to her what's wrong with me, but she didn't notice and I decided to keep it that way. Sometimes I wanna disappear. Not die- just....disappear. Existing is a hassle. Quarantine has me all sad. I was bored and had nothing to do. Writing is really the only thing that I'm somewhat good at. It makes me feel free. It helps me and is therapeutic I suppose. I sound like a nerd. I sometimes wonder about my life, the past, present, and future. I failed myself and everyone around me. I have no way to let my emotions out. There's no one I can or wanna talk to. This diary really is the only thing keeping me sane. I didn't tell anyone about this diary; it would just be a bother.


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