Ramblings of a Cathy
Steven and I have what's called an "open marriage". It's something that I've realized accommodates whatever in myself gets antsy in being with one person... Who knows why?
We've met some characters along the way, smacked some asses, fucked some bitches... had wonderful walk-of-shames holding hands in sweaty nice clothes... and TONS of heightened sex with eachother afterwards.
However, the more we go about it, the more I realize that adding extra people in the mix of your daily life can make things messy.
Swinging really tests your relationship, and your roles.
I used to live in my parents' house, taking care of my mother when she was sick. So when we first started it was quite exciting. I had been a somewhat unkempt, self-neglecting mother/caretaker/wife/counselor for a long time. Then we started talking about it... getting on the swinging websites... and then we found the sex club in Fort Lauderdale.
We decided to go one night. FUCK IT, we're swingers... let's go to the SEX CLUB!
I put on a practical black romper with flowers on it, and a top that unbuttoned to show my petite but still bouncy boobs. My whole body was shaved, lotioned, and anti-persperanted - lightly sprinkled with the fancy Tresor perfume that I've loved since I was young.
Steven had on a fitted black Express shirt with jeans, and a body spray that made him smell extra manly.
We had done a ton of research before showing up, so we felt ready. LOL
When we got there though it had been very late. And they told us we had to be nude, with only a towel.
But Steven and I just took a few shots and played ball. I looked in the locker room mirror, smiled at my reflection and decided "You're Beyonce. Be Beyonce!".
As I stripped down modestly a tall handsome black guy next to me kept his eyes on me, watching me pull the romper off while trying to keep a towel over my breasts. I smiled at him and was exhilerated by the random shyness that lifted his lips and lowered his eyes for a second. I kept eye contact and by the time he looked back at me, I had Steven's hand and walked beside him back to the main room.
The main room was big, like a normal night club, with a maze like hallway. Once you pass the bar there were blue couches on all sides of the room. People of all ages and sizes were illuminated by the black lights as they touched and fucked each other. A part of me felt like I was watching some shit I wasn't supposed to be watching. And yet Steve and I just gazed at everything, overwhelmed. I felt like I was depersonalizing as we walked through the halls, past all of the people engaged with one another. There were 2 or 3 men just attached to women, fucking without abandon. I remember walking in front of Steven for a period of time, and meeting the gaze of another handsome young guy who looked at me expectantly. I smiled and touched his cheek as I walked past.
I hoped Steve saw that :)
After a while, Steven and I felt very out of place, and we started to feel discouraged.