If I was to die tonight, I know there is a golden ticket into Hell for me. Based upon my flaws and mistakes, I definitely deserve the dark side. I know I cannot help that I like younger girls and do a lot of risky things. Maybe that's because I am alone and single. Maybe if I was in a relationship and happy, then things would be different. I really have no idea why I am still alive, when all I am is a screw up. I mess up a lot in my life and really don't deserve to be here. I do believe in God of course, but I know he has a list of sins waiting for me when I die. I just don't understand why he wants me here on earth. More Wednesday....