Live my life♥

What is future?

What is going to be the future? Already wasted 8 months at home doing nothing. Omg I can't believe I am at home since 8 months and fucked up in all way. Job, finance, love life, social life everything.
I am a big zero right now.
But every day I have a question that what is the future? I'm looking for a good settled guy to get married, a job will I be successful? Monku and I we can't be together it's fucked up. He is all in to his problems. We expects me to wait, how much more? He is still not confident enough abt our future. I cannot wait without any concrete base. He still talks in air. I feel pity on us. That we ended up like this. I pray for him and his good life.
About me? M worried about mom how will she cope up with dad? He is getting weak on legs and barely walks, sis will be back to her house soon and busy I have to look after them. But what when I get married? I get prospects of abroad settled but I cannot who will tc of my parents? M in delimma like every time.
How is gonna be the future? How much time will it take for me to get job? Can some magic not happen?
I pray to God for fast recovery of everything. Also I have left everything on him.
Monku and I talk but very normal just to be in each other's bad time. I have made things clear to him. But i do miss him.
Days are passing like anything, and I feel jailed in house don't know what's gonna happen next.

God bless all.