Live my life♥

No fucking Title

Yes j do not have a title because I'm writing random about many things. Ifs buts, why me, why not?
I just see myself and at world. People have achieved it so much in their lives, I see how there plans work, how hard they work and get the returns and they are just progressing. And then I look at me, I'm same old, lachar, cry baby, struggled who is trying g hands on many things but not getting anything in hand. I tried my best in acting my dream my favorite passion I got nothing, I tried and m still trying in good job but no how it's so difficult for me, I tried on something different retail that too di t work coz of bad time. Do I need to push more? Circumstances always drag me down and I put my all energy in lifting myself up but zero. Eventually I have to accept my destiny.

How I everyday dream of a good, happy, peaceful life where my mom is proud of me, happy in life. But nothing I have always gotten disappointed. Never I got happy or surprised with something good. And even if it happens that turns out to be short lived. What do I do accept my destiny and not try or try and get disappointed because destiny is powerful?
30 yrs of life and everything is just same situation in house, job, finance nothing changed in a good way. Yes m grateful for this life which many wish for but I also want to progress look back and thanks God feel proud of progressing. But when I look back m same in same place.

I don't know what is the way out.
It's tiring and frustrating everytime to just face disappointment even after putting efforts to make something happen. Who has the answer??